Looking for a new job due to bullying

PHILANTHROPIST

mumcoll wrote: »

My OH has just resigned from a job due to being very unhappy. His supervisor is a total control freak, he says she tells him what to do 'short of putting my fingers on the keys of the keyboard'.

He has always been very proud of doing a good job but she has criticised every single thing he's done. 'Don't say it like that, say this'. 'Ring those 30 people' An hour later 'Have you rung those 30 people' 'Your voicemail's too long' etc... etc.....

She took away every bit of confidence and he's been working since 1971!

Hi mumcoll. I am a complete novice on MSE, but it was recommended to me by some acquaintances who formerly used to post on a site called consumer forum or consumer action group (CAG !?). Anyhow, they got disillusioned with the above forum and now use MSE.

Not knowing MSE protocols might I suggest to avoid having two concurrent debates that you may wish to set up a brand new "post" re your OH's concerns and then maybe I and others could possibly offer some insight or better still guidance. Does that sound sensible ? FOOTNOTE - Just realised mumcoll you have already posted re OH. Apologies,I'll check out your post and if it appears that I can add anything useful then I will.

wheezy57

After a very painful and prolonged bullying by a 'manager', I put in a formal grievance. It was binned. The bully denied everything. She was ring fenced. To hear that I was possibly telling lies and that I had not a shred of truth in any of my allegations I was totally floored. Although I kept my job I am now just a floating member of staff, called upon at any time to fill in whilst someone is off or whatever. I lost the job I loved because of her and her cohorts. One was actually promoted as a sweetner for signing witness statements against me etc. These were untrue but nevertheless I never regained my confidence back and I am now in limbo.

I am still hurting but I have to 'move on' as they say. I will never ever forgive or forget what these women did to me. The bully is now starting to pick on the lady who has replaced me. I just have one remaining hope and that is she gets sacked for being a bully whilst I am there......now that would help in 'my recovery' no end.

One last thing, the reason or rather one of them is that I stood up to this bully. But she couldnt get rid of me in the way that would be 'acceptable' no, she resorted to lies and other means to get me sacked.
Not only did I have to suffer the suspension but I then went on to have a breakdown a few months later.

PHILANTHROPIST

wheezy57 wrote: »

After a very painful and prolonged bullying by a 'manager', I put in a formal grievance. It was binned. The bully denied everything. She was ring fenced. To hear that I was possibly telling lies and that I had not a shred of truth in any of my allegations I was totally floored. Although I kept my job I am now just a floating member of staff, called upon at any time to fill in whilst someone is off or whatever. I lost the job I loved because of her and her cohorts. One was actually promoted as a sweetner for signing witness statements against me etc. These were untrue but nevertheless I never regained my confidence back and I am now in limbo.

I am still hurting but I have to 'move on' as they say. I will never ever forgive or forget what these women did to me. The bully is now starting to pick on the lady who has replaced me. I just have one remaining hope and that is she gets sacked for being a bully whilst I am there......now that would help in 'my recovery' no end.

One last thing, the reason or rather one of them is that I stood up to this bully. But she couldnt get rid of me in the way that would be 'acceptable' no, she resorted to lies and other means to get me sacked.
Not only did I have to suffer the suspension but I then went on to have a breakdown a few months later.

Sorry to hear about your traumatic (but sadly all too commonplace) episode Wheezy. When did this happen ? ... i.e. year and month. I ask for a good (potentially legal) reason.

[Deleted User]

Ladybird1975 wrote: »

I have previously asked for advice on a work place issue and got some great advice from people. I spoke with the person involved first to see if that resolved the issue but it just made it worse to her actually questioning my work in front of the MD and making it clear she feels I am not good enough although no one else has any issues with my work. As a result I have made the decision to get another job as I have no support from my colleagues or MD they prefer to ignore it. When I go for an interview I know I will be asked why I am looking for another job. Should I be honest and say why or keep quiet and give another reason.

100% keep quiet and give another reason.

No employer in the world will take on someone who moans about last employer - even if its legit like you. At the back of their mind they'll be thinking - is this person a troublemaker?

wheezy57

PHILANTHROPIST wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your traumatic (but sadly all too commonplace) episode Wheezy. When did this happen ? ... i.e. year and month. I ask for a good (potentially legal) reason.

It all happened last year. Suspended in January. Back to work end of February. Breakdown in early summer.

tezza34

if your being bully at work don't leave put a letter in to hr. which is a grievance against the person who is bullying you then if no joy take action which means seek legal advice and have the company for letting this happen.

wheezy57

tezza34 wrote: »

if your being bully at work don't leave put a letter in to hr. which is a grievance against the person who is bullying you then if no joy take action which means seek legal advice and have the company for letting this happen.

I couldn't afford any further legal advice. I had no support. In fact I was laughed at as being rather stupid as to have the nerve to say something so dreadful and totally untrue.

Sorry I don't want to overtake the OPs original post.
My plight is relevant however. I will speak up, I will go anywhere, I will tell my story until one day someone will listen and help me to get this bully and her cohorts to their knees. So far, no one is listened.

PHILANTHROPIST

wheezy57 wrote: »

I couldn't afford any further legal advice. I had no support. In fact I was laughed at as being rather stupid as to have the nerve to say something so dreadful and totally untrue.

Sorry I don't want to overtake the OPs original post.
My plight is relevant however. I will speak up, I will go anywhere, I will tell my story until one day someone will listen and help me to get this bully and her cohorts to their knees. So far, no one is listened.

I have across similar incidents many times and on occasions found solutions and closure for victims. At this time I am considering your legal options (if any). Please give me time. TY

poorlittlefish

I've been in situations similar to wheezy57 twice. The first time I walked out after being sworn and shouted at and could take no more. I put in a grievance which was "investigated" by a manager who was personal friends with the bully. The colleagues who'd supported me to my face caved in and denied everything when they were interviewed, so fearful were they that they'd be the next victims. The fact that I was the second person in the team to walk out because of the bully didn't strike a chord, instead the whole thing was turned round on me as the bully told a pack of lies. I got no help from the union as the rep was another of the bully's friends. It was obvious, after six months of waiting, that they hoped I'd resign so they didn't have to bother doing anything. Fortunately I got another job, so gave them what they wanted.

The second time I endured constant passive-aggressive behaviour and sabotage from someone who had gone for the job I'd got. I was actively dissuaded from lodging a grievance. I did everything by the book, kept my manager and HR informed but again nothing was done to stop the culprit. The previous experience had such a profound effect on my mental and physical health that I wasn't prepared to get that bad again, so I resigned even though I had nothing to go to. It took me a few months to get a new job, I've had to take a £9k drop in pay, but, for the sake of my health, it's still better than still working there.

wheezy57

Your post struck such a strong chord with me. HR are nothing but a department that looks after the company NOT the employees. Five times I put in the official procedural requirements of dates, times etc. Five times I was ignored.

Although I still work at the same place - I am 61, no future, poor pay and no title to my job. I sharpen pencils and run around looking busy but doing absolutely nothing. I have no department and no line manager.

The union rep said that he agreed with everything that my boss had done and that - when asked 'how bloudy unfair this all was' he replied 'whats !!!!!!! fair in life - you are very naive'. He says 'you are going to retire anyway in a couple of years, keep your head down and dont rock the boat'.

You couldnt make it up even if you tried....