miserable me

themmackas

Just a thought that I have always thought about life.

You only get one life, its not a dress rehersal for another life so make the most of now, have a good think about things, no one else knows how you feel and its only you that can do something about it. Me and my otherhalf have always said that If we didnt love each other anymore then we would be honest enough to say, you are still young enough to change your life if thats what you want to do.

Good look.

themmackas
xx

missprint

Life really CAN change for the better, I am living proof of that. You say you don't have the courage to get out of this miserable-sounding relationaship, just what do mean by that? Are you financially hamstrung, could you support yourself? Do you own your house or do you rent? Are you working? Money is usually the biggest stumbling block and it can be very scary to look at an uncertain future, but far worse to look back on a wasted life. You will get lots of support here if you decide to look into alternatives. Have you tried a direct approach (I am not happy and you don't seem to be either. Let's discuss splitting up)?

Whatever you decide, YOU are the priority now, you have looked after everyone else for long enough.

jobbingmusician

OP, I think you ought to put your foot down and get yourself a serious birthday celebration. EVEN IF IT DOESN'T COST ANYTHING! (Caps turned themselves on for that sentence, but I decided it was fate and I should leave it in caps. )

Announce that you are going to have a night off to celebrate your bday. Even if you spend it on here (and I am sure that if you started a thread called 'My 50th, come and celebrate' you could have a lovely online party!). Make sure the whole family knows that YOU are making some time to celebrate YOURSELF!

When I was about 12 I went to a friend's house for tea. We had fruit salad, and one of the family noticed there was no grapefruit in it. The mother said 'Yes, I picked it all out - I love grapefruit, and why shouldn't I have something I enjoy?' I was SO impressed - my mum would never do anything like that, I thought, and (nasty little scumbag that I was) I was impressed by the fact that my friend's mum had the confidence and self-worth to assert herself.

Go and do thou likewise!

Ellie2758

moanin'minnie wrote: »

I just feel the need to have a moan and thought maybe you could lend an ear for old moanin'minnie, last saturday was my 50th birthday and it was the most miserable birthday I have ever had, firstly things between me and my oh have been very strained lately and on my birthday I did'nt even get a card or a "happy birthday" from him, my kids (grown up ) bought me nice presents but didnt really make anything special out of my birthday, I feel so let down by everyone as I am the one who tries to make everyone elses birthday special, I am not belittleing the lovely presents that I got as I really do appreciate them. Why does other people get surprise birthday parties, taken out for nice meals etc? is it just my family have no imagination, as for my oh does he really not care enough to even say happy birthday to me, apart from that he has not spoke to me all week as if this is all my fault and hes the one whos been done wrong to. These things have been eating at me all week and I feel so alone and uncared for, thanks for lending an ear while I let off some steam!!

a woman after my own heart. Last week was my 49th. I felt the same as you. Nobody seemed to have made an effort to make it special whereas, as you say, I do try to make their birthdays a special occasion. I felt really down all day. Neither my father or my brother sent me a card. I got cards from hubby's side of the family and from the kids and friends. Dont know what's the matter wiv em. Miserable lot.

moanin'minnie

Ellie2758 wrote: »

a woman after my own heart. Last week was my 49th. I felt the same as you. Nobody seemed to have made an effort to make it special whereas, as you say, I do try to make their birthdays a special occasion. I felt really down all day. Neither my father or my brother sent me a card. I got cards from hubby's side of the family and from the kids and friends. Dont know what's the matter wiv em. Miserable lot.

poor you, I understand completely so happy belated birthday to you.
Thanks for all your lovely words of understanding everyone who has replied, I will take onboard all words of wisdom and cheer myself up ,from now on I am going to look after no.1 (thats me!!) and to pot with the rest of them

lynzpower

way to go MInnie :T :T

I hope you find something more positive to do with your time than listening to other people moanin'

sylphraven

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

My mom felt similar on her 50th, I had to organise the present from my younger bro & sis as they werent interested, her parents & sister hurt he most though, they'd always told us they didnt give money as it was a gift that lacked thought or feeling, so they gave her money!

Well I convinced her to spend it on something she'd always wanted, something just for her & something that they'd definately not approve of, I took her to get her belly button pierced, lol.

No-one else see's it, it was purely for her to celebrate her own birthday.

You deserve your day of pampering. My OH buys himself a present every year, I've always though it a bit selfish & ungrateful but am beginning to think he's got the right idea, you'd alweays have something you really wanted then

I agree with what others have said, get yourself out the house with a course or a new hobby. Meet like minded people & get away from the moody f***, it would do you the world of good & either help you deal with OH's moods or give you the confidence to leave.

Dont keep quiet about your grievances, express them, then theres a chance something might be done about them