What age would you leave your child alone for a few nights?

SandC

My parents wouldn't leave me when 17 - I had to go and stay at a friend's house (I wasn't going away with parents cos I was going away with friend and family later in the year). Just a tad embarrassing.

But those were their rules - soon as I turned 18 I could do what I wanted, I know I would have been no more mature at 17 years and 363 days but they must have seen it as a point to measure by - 17 not adult, 18 adult.

Oh yeah and they also gave me an ashtray for my room when I turned 18 - legal to smoke at 16 but their rules until I was an 'adult'. :-) Strangely lenient in some things compared to others but ah well...

GobbledyGook

SandC wrote: »

My parents wouldn't leave me when 17 - I had to go and stay at a friend's house (I wasn't going away with parents cos I was going away with friend and family later in the year). Just a tad embarrassing.

But those were their rules - soon as I turned 18 I could do what I wanted, I know I would have been no more mature at 17 years and 363 days but they must have seen it as a point to measure by - 17 not adult, 18 adult.

Oh yeah and they also gave me an ashtray for my room when I turned 18 - legal to smoke at 16 but their rules until I was an 'adult'. :-) Strangely lenient in some things compared to others but ah well...

I had a friend whose parents were like that and I found it utterly bizarre!

17 - not allowed to come away with me (and my grandparents!) for the weekend. 10.30pm curfew. Permission needed to stay at a friends (and it was often declined). Not allowed to get a taxi home from the U18's disco, had to be collected by her Dad - and not allowed to stay until the end only 10.30p- and not allowed to stay until the end only 10.30pm. Not allowed to miss dinner in the evening for anything (she even got grief for working late one night - she had a full time job at this point).

18 - Do what you like while we stand by really shocked by how 'wild' you've become.

Although she wasn't allowed to get a taxi home from a nightclub, she still had to be collected by her Dad. Which caused friction when I was going to a party and her Dad tried to insist that 'we' weren't allowed.

They also had the bizarre rule that no-one was allowed to tie their jumper around their waist in their house. I ended up stood outside waiting on her one day as a point of (possibly teenage) principle when I got shouted at over it. They were odd.

andygb

I was working a few months short of my 17th birthday, and my family went on holiday for a couple of weeks and left me at home - I loved it. I had some mates over, kept the place nice and tidy, and could cook for myself as well.
Mind you, my mum and dad went a bit berserk when they returned on the Sunday afternoon to find an impromptu rock concert taking place in the front garden.

SandC

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I had a friend whose parents were like that and I found it utterly bizarre!

17 - not allowed to come away with me (and my grandparents!) for the weekend. 10.30pm curfew. Permission needed to stay at a friends (and it was often declined). Not allowed to get a taxi home from the U18's disco, had to be collected by her Dad - and not allowed to stay until the end only 10.30p- and not allowed to stay until the end only 10.30pm. Not allowed to miss dinner in the evening for anything (she even got grief for working late one night - she had a full time job at this point).

18 - Do what you like while we stand by really shocked by how 'wild' you've become.

Although she wasn't allowed to get a taxi home from a nightclub, she still had to be collected by her Dad. Which caused friction when I was going to a party and her Dad tried to insist that 'we' weren't allowed.

They also had the bizarre rule that no-one was allowed to tie their jumper around their waist in their house. I ended up stood outside waiting on her one day as a point of (possibly teenage) principle when I got shouted at over it. They were odd.

Mine weren't quite that bad and I didn't even go 'wild' after turning 18 either.

GobbledyGook

SandC wrote: »

Mine weren't quite that bad and I didn't even go 'wild' after turning 18 either.

She didn't either imo. Their version of wild was going clubbing until 1am once a month, missing dinner to work overtime (to save for a flat) and staying over at a mates every now and again.

They said the minute she turned 18 she turned into a wild party animal, but she was no different to the majority in the group of friends she had.

They never did make the connection between their never-ending list of rules (I mean really - someone of 17 who is working full time having to phone for permission to work late?) and their 'sadness' at how their 3 kids left home at 18/19 whilst lots of people stayed at home longer.

geoffky

A lot on here seem to have grown up babies...shame really..

Dysnomia

I'd say it really depends on the person.


At the age of 14 my parents left me alone for one night, although there was a friend of theirs up the road I could have gone to if I needed to. At 15 I was foisted on my Nana's very elderly neighbour for several weeks (don't ask) who was quite deaf and a bit forgetful so I got very used to looking after myself. I'd always been quite responsible anyway, so I don't think my parents worried much.


On the other hand, when I was in my final year at University my parents went on holiday for 2 weeks. I was home for the holidays with my younger brother, then 17. I came home one day to a horrible plasticky burning smell from the kitchen, and rushed in to find the toasted sandwich maker melting and smoking on the counter. DB had decided to make a sandwich, got bored and gone upstairs to play computer games, completely forgetting about it. I'm not sure what would've happened if I wasn't there, but I don't think my parents ever bought a new one!


Dys.

Mint1955

Plenty old enough to cope. But I would do a night or a weekend first off so she can think about what it's really like to be alone. She might then want a friend to stay or make plans for eating at dads etc.

Write down emergency numbers show her how to re set the electric if it trips, nominate a neighbour or friend or relative if close enough or all of them to check in with her regularly.

andygb

geoffky wrote: »

A lot on here seem to have grown up babies...shame really..

When I was 14/15, we used to go night fishing during the school holidays for a few days at the local lakes - no adults present, except the other anglers. We used to have a little calor gas burner, a frying pan, and did the most amazing breakfasts.
Nobody drowned, got assaulted or somehow died from maggot poisoning/Weils desease/exposure, and we really enjoyed ourselves.

Macca83_2

I remember being left alone for my first night at 16. At that point I could and would cook the family meals, tidy the house, look after the pets etc. Despite that I remember being a little bit freaked out by myself and slept the night in my parents bed because they had a lock on the door. But it was a good learning experience and it didn't kill me. I'd suggest a dry run before leaving her for 14 nights. I didn't think I'd be scared but it's a different story when you're sitting in the house by yourself in the wee small hours.