What age would you leave your child alone for a few nights?

Kathy535

As the title says really. My daughter is 17 and will be 18 at the end of October. My husband and I would like to go away in early September, for up to 14 nts - I'd prefer a week as it will be the first time we've left her alone, he wants to make it a longer holiday as the summer is likely to be a tough time at work. She's a sensible girl although a little scatty so I wouldn't be worrying about parties, I would be worrying about her remembering to lock the door. She cooks for herself already, her dad lives a few miles away and we have friends close by. Also, I'm thinking of asking my parents to come up for a long weekend in the middle of our break so she has some oversight.

Is this reasonable or should I make other arrangements? Perhaps we should have a couple of practice nights away beforehand?

She's completed not fussed by the idea btw!

paulineb_2

I remember my mum going to Ireland with my brother for a couple of days when I was about 17, was to a wedding, I was fine.

But for 14 nights I think it would be fair enough if someone came to see her for a couple of days in the middle just to make sure shes ok.

BitterAndTwisted

She's old enough to be living away from home, earning her own living and to get married. If she's not fussed and you can trust her not to advertise a party on Facebook, I think she should be left to get on with it without supervision.


Have a couple of "practice nights" if it will make you feel better but don't call them that in front of her. There's nothing worse than being treated like a five year-old when you're perfectly capable of looking after yourself.

duchy

She's hardly a child -and she has the support of her Dad presumably if there was a household disaster like a burst pipe so she's not really alone as such.

maman

paulineb wrote: »

I remember my mum going to Ireland with my brother for a couple of days when I was about 17, was to a wedding, I was fine.

But for 14 nights I think it would be fair enough if someone came to see her for a couple of days in the middle just to make sure shes ok.

I don't disagree but it might be quite lonely for her. Would she be at college/work during the day?

paulineb_2

I understand that at that age someone could be away from home, married and earning her own money. But shes not away from home, thats the thing.

When you are used to company around you all the time, it can make you a bit nervous being on your own in the house and for me, thats all it was.
Particularly at night. Its just getting used to it.

If her dad is a couple of miles away then obviously he could pop in now and then to see if shes ok.

Buzzybee90

maman wrote: »

I don't disagree but it might be quite lonely for her. Would she be at college/work during the day?

I think if you feel she's old enough to go away on holiday (with friends, boyfriend sec) then she's old enough to be home alone. But 14 days is quite a long time. I know I wouldn't want to be alone for that long. I was left one night when I was 17 (and infact ever!) when I lived at home, as I had got back from my holiday a day before my parents and my brother was on a school trip. I was petrified (being in the middle of nowhere) and I kept hearing creepy noises :rotfl:

gingin_2

My parents left me from 17 to go abroad, I can't remember for how long but it was the Caribbean. I didn't mind but didn't like the night time because we lived in a big old house without immediate neighbours, it felt a bit creepy and I was worried about burglars.

I would think about how you feel about being away for 14 days and whether that will impact your enjoyment of the holiday (it would mine) if it is your first time away. Once you have done it once, you can build it up and stay away longer.

Does her Dad have a room for her to stay in if she isn't happy home alone once you have gone?

To add that my Brother used to get up to all sorts when my parents were away - very drunken under-aged house parties, drove my Dad's sports car ( and damaged it). I was not as bad as him but no angel either.

itzmee

We went away for 3 nights in October and left 17 year old ds on his own. Well, I say on his own, as he invited 2 friends to come and stay with him as he didn't want to be by himself. I warned him that there were to be no parties or funny business in MY house, and definitely not to put anything on facebook! The house was still standing when we got home and it was immaculate - he'd even hoovered! This Easter we are going away for 10 nights without him, and I have no problems doing so as he will be 18. He also has his own plans to go to Italy for a few days just as we get back. You just have to trust your child - and leave a long list of do's and don'ts!

dandelionclock30

Made me laugh this-"she cooks for herself already" at 17!!!!!!!. I was cooking my own meals from being 6 years old.
I think you may be underestimating her regarding parties etc. Thats what I would be worried about most.Is she really going to be in on a nightby herself with her slippers on and drinking coco. I doubt it very much.
I would ask the neighbours or other family member to be keeping an eye on her and going though with her what to do if something happens etc. I remember I was at home by myself as a teenager and a pipe upstairs burst flooding the house. Its things like this you need to think about.

fabforty

I would definitely have a practice night first, or get someone to stay with her. Being home alone is one thing, but home alone at night, all night, is a completely different experience. It does tend to freak you out the first few times and the fact that you are old enough to get married, have babies etc, is largely irrelevant. I'm not a timid person by nature, but the first time I was left alone overnight, I was 19 and I hardly slept a wink - I was up with every little noise and creak, things that when my parents and/or siblings were at home, I barely noticed.
My parents both worked shifts so we (5 siblings) were used to being home alone and pretty much fending for ourselves from a relatively young age. It was being in the house alone at night, that I found hard.