What age would you leave your child alone for a few nights?

thorsoak

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

At 6? What on earth?
I never cooked for myself, my mum cooked and I cooked for everyone on Saturdays, my dad did the veg on Sundays.

OK - so I know it was a long time ago, but when my mum was 6, nearly 7, her father was posted as "missing in action" during WWI - and until his body was found, or he was posted as a POW, there was no money for my grandmother - so she had to go to work in the local munitions factory from 7am to 7pm. My 6-year old mum had to make up the fire, put the kettle on the fire, get her little brother and sister up (littlest one was2) get them dressed, give them breakfast (bread toasted on the fire) and take 5 year old to school, stay home and look after littlest, do some messages and make dinner!

It was another world then .......

Grandpa was eventually reunited with his unit, and his pay was reinstated, but my mother never forgot that few months!

For what its worth, I was allowed to stay on my own for the first time when I was 16, nearly 17. The neighbours knew I was on my own, but left me to my own devices, they were there if I needed them. When we were invited away for a weekend, we left our eldest 2 when they were 14 and 16, but arranged for the 2 youngest (6 & 8) to go to friends.

pukkamum

She will be fine as far as practicalities go, it's the being home alone she may find unnerving.
I was always more than hapoy on my own at that age but my friend hated it so I would stay with her.
Does she have a couple of sensible friends who could stay with her?

[Deleted User]

How does she feel about it herself?

downshifted

When I was 18 over 40 years ago I stayed home while my parents went away for Christmas. My boyfriend and I had a great time - friends came round for lunch on Boxing Day, which I cooked. I overdid it with the brandy when I tried flambe and had a river of flame running down the cooker and across the kitchen floor - it's just the alcohol that burns off though, so no real damage.

We had nosey neighbours so my boyfriend would drive off, tooting the car horn loudly, at about 10.30, park around the corner and sneak back wearing my dad's old overcoat - he then left again in the early hours (heaven knows what they would have thought had they seen someone in a flapping mac creeping away at 3 am). My parents would have gone mad if they had known, it's a sign of those times that his dad commented on his timekeeping with a nudge and a wink - it was ok for boys....

Overall no harm was done, and our fortieth wedding anniversary is this year. Knowing how we had behaved didn't prevent us leaving our daughter (although not at Christmas) when she was in her late teens. You have to trust you have taught them enough to look after themselves, and she had gone through the silly party stage by then

Bella73

I was about 16 when I first left alone whilst family away. I just had a friend come over and stay, we didn't do anything outrageous just watched movies and stuff. Had a great time. We knew we could call my friends Mum and dad if we needed anything.

travelgran

We left our son for a month when he was 16-17. Well actually he refused to come with us. His sister lived in the next road and we left him some cash. We came home to no problems except 30 rinsed but not washed milk bottles. One magically appeared every morning on the doorstep but he hadn't realised he was expected to put the old ones out! Duh!
He now lives independently with his son and doesn't have a milk delivery anymore.

System

We left our 16 year old son alone in the house for a couple of long weekends before deciding he was able and mature enough to cope with us being away longer. At 17 we left him for 8 days (though his sister popped in to see him occasionally, etc and took him shopping if he needed anything).

duchy

I'd ask her what she thinks.
She might appreciate having the place to herself, she might ask if her best friend can stay whilst you're away -you won't know until you discuss this with her adult to adult.

JIL

I was left on my own for two weeks when i was 16. My best friend moved in and my mum asked the neighbours to keep an eye on me.

It made me grow up, I had to look after the family pets and get to work myself, buy the milk and bread and cook, wash up and wash an dry and iron my own clothes. I was fine.

I left my son on his own at the age of 16, while we went away for two nights and his brother and sister were away with the school, we did ask him to come with us and even bring a friend, he could have stayed with a friend or his grandparents but he didnt want to. He was fine and didnt hava parties.
The youngest has been left on her own, for the past 3 years, since she was 17, for up to 10 days at a time. She is fine but does resort to getting friends in to cook for her, unlike her brothers cooking is not one of her talents.

meritaten

its not the physical age - its are they mature enough? I would have left my DD at 16, but not my sons. even in their twenties I had misgivings about leaving them - but they coped fine! the younger one being more responsible than the older one they were ok together.
and I left a three page 'dossier' on how the boiler worked, how the washing machine worked (and where it was located), what to do if they smelt gas, Emergency numbers, relatives numbers (who were on 'stand by', what do if the smoke alarm went off! The boys still laugh about it. they didn't need it apparently and the pets were fine, the garden was fine - the house was fine!
as long as your DD feels able to cope, she has 'back up' and your neighbours know she is 'home alone', then go.