Dealing with grief.

thriftyemma

I am so sorry for your loss. I have no words of experience, or advice. I can only say you are in my thoughts.

Gold_Dust_2

Shushannah, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Please visit your GP as they can refer you for bereavement counselling.

cef66

Dear Shushannah

I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, there can't be anything worse than losing a child.

I hope you have family and friends you can talk to, as well as following the advice on here. Nothing is going to be 'normal' for a long, long time. Don't feel like you have to be seen to be 'coping', it's OK to shout and scream, cry and cry, sit for hours with his things.... Do what ever feels right for you and let people around you know how you feel or at least that you're struggling. It's what most people would expect and they may be able to help but might not like to start a conversation, or mention your son first for fear of upsetting you.

Remember you're always going to be his mum and you'll always love him. No-one can take that away from you.
One day at a time X

Shushannah

Thank-you everyone for your kind thoughts. I'm another day further along.

paulineb_2

My uncle killed himself when I was 21. He had mental health problems and spent periods ill and long periods well (he had schizophrenia), but his death was still a massive shock, he was married, was working, had seemed happier than he had been in a long time.

It took me around a year to feel normal again if thats the right word. My gran also lost her brother the same way and her other brother was killed in a car crash, I honestly dont know how she had the strength to carry on.

But you carry on for the people left behind. I went through every emotion, anger, sadness, guilt. Even if I dont sit and think about him everyday, hes always there, just something that you never get over, but you live with somehow.

You dont ever forget, the only way I can explain it is that somewhere along the line, you start having normal days where you laugh about things, do ordinary things and you dont wake up every day with this great big pit of grief that you feel you are crawling out of

I had bereavement counselling but it didnt really help me, Im aware of SOBS, Ive done some suicide prevention training for jobs Ive done in the past.

It is very much one day at a time. Id also say if you feel work is better for you, go, but if you arent coping and need time off, take it, theres no shame in needing some time to grieve privately.

System

No words of wisdom from me I'm afraid, just a heartfelt statement of sorrow for your loss.

lillie_put

So So Sorry for your Loss
as Judi said No words of wisdom, that will help you at this horrendous time
with love an hugs
lillie_put

kremmen

Hi Shushannah


I am sorry that you have lost your son.


Just another note to agree with seanymph and ask you to contact the compassionate friends in the UK ... http://www.tcf.org.uk/ as soon as you are able.


I have been to cruse and it was a help but I had to self refer as my GP gave me a phone number to call which would have provided phone support only.


Without the help of bereaved parents on a private forum and at their helpline who understand I am not sure I would have made it this far. The TCF also have other resources and I am now in contact with individuals locally which is a life saver.


Please feel free to PM me if you would like any more information or for anything .


Paul


SAY THEIR NAME VIDEO


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS9z3dwMhZs

zaksmum

So sorry Shushannah.

No words could convey my heartfelt sympathy.

Sending you hugs...you are in my thoughts and prayers.

May your son rest in peace.

thorsoak

I wish I had words to comfort you, words to say how much I feel for you - but I haven't. I'm just so sorry for your loss - I've suffered the loss of my OH, after almost 50 years and I know how that hurts - but I cannot begin to understand how you can cope after this - my thoughts are with you and all I can do is send you my love and prayers. x