Dealing with grief.

Roz_V

I am so sorry for your loss xx

I don't have any advice of my own but an acquaintance of mine recently lost her teenage brother in similar circumstances. She has used and recommended these links

Cruse

SOBS

Child Bereavement UK

Thinking of you at this horrendous time

harrys_nan

I haven't any words that can help you, I cannot comprehend what you are going through.
Please listen to the above post and get some counselling, my thoughts are with you in this awful time.

ska_lover

I'm so sorry OP xx

claretmatt

My sister took her own life 9 years ago today and not many days go by without thinking about her.

It took me along time to come to terms with the tragic circumstances.

I took some counselling which helped a lot and went through the process of grief slowly.

shopaholicz

I have no more advice to give other than what's already on here, just lots and lots of empathy and sympathy but I needed to write something before I left. I do think you're being too hard on yourself, 7 weeks is so little time, of course you're not holding it together yet. Love yourself, accept what you can't change, cry when you need to, shout when you need to and take every day as it comes. Special wishes to you.

Oh, are you religious? you could prob get help from your church?

belfastgirl23

This is so sad. Sincere condolences.

No advice except to say be very kind to yourself. Don't expect too much of yourself. Treat yourself as you'd treat a friend in this terrible circumstance. If you were my friend, I wouldn't expect you to hold it together. I would expect you to have moments of deep despair and I would think that it was entirely normal and reasonable that you would be like that. Don't expect something from yourself that you wouldn't expect from anyone else. And don't judge yourself for feeling like that.

If you can just hold onto some kind of faith, remember that change is the one constant in life. You will not always feel how you do now. It's a hard thing to do though.

I will be holding a good thought for you in any case.

bylromarha

So so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to comprehend how you are feeling.

What I will say is to echo all the above in regard getting help from specialists.

In regard to dealing with the grief, be good to yourself. I imagine his death is in your head every minute of the day right now - no tips or suggestions can take that away. Give yourself a lot of space to grieve as you need to, or try to remember all those fantastic memories you made together, or keep yourself as busy as you can to block it out for now. Just do what you need to do to get through this awful time.

In time, the knife edge pain will pass, but the grief and sadness will be with you always. He was your son. You loved him deeply. Time will help you learn to cope with his loss, but the sharp pain you're experiencing now will dull with time. You will always remember though and cope with each day.

Please contact Cruse as I know they helped a friend in similar circumstances. And keep breathing chuck - you'll get there. All the best.

sterl1ng

I'm so sorry for your loss, deepest sympathy x.

ampersand

Dear Shushannah,

Anyone who has experience of a very close suicide can lay their line of grief, bewilderment, circular questioning, self-doubt, non-specific and unmerited self-blame, even eventual, occasional anger, right beside yours, while knowing the hopelessness of convincing you of their understanding.

Neither your son, nor you, is diminished by this. Each Life and Death is unique, no matter the ending.

Your son's death remains as individual as was he. All that was fine and funny and heart-warming and accomplished and teen-ish in his progress to Young Manhood remains so, is unalterable.

So our arms go round you.

This does not diminish the unique Nature of each torment and sense of inevitability or Nowhere Else To Go that led to this final step, so often brutal and unexpected in teenage boys. He will likely have felt he made a noble decision, protective, selfless.

Please use any /all of the help suggested above.

Do not expect of yourself what you cannot undo. The human spirit is remarkable for its resilience. That commonplace 'normalcy' will have its own timetable for a return, perhaps not as you recognise, BUT IT DOES COME.

Will you let belief in this bed in? I promise you it happens, despite everything.

-written with bossiness and love as a testimony.

penguin83

Shushannah,


I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling. I am so sorry for your loss.


I have no advice or words of wisdom for you but couldn't read without posting.


Thinking of you xx