Dealing with grief.

Shushannah

My sixteen year old son died earlier this year. He killed himself.

I am struggling to cope. To us he seemed very happy and was successful at school. I have no reasons for it.

I manage to keep everything together when I am at work, but I am not really holding it together on my own. the half term has been really hard.

It was only 7 weeks ago I don't expect to be alright, but I was wondering if any others had ideas on at least making some progress to normality.

pollypenny

enormous sympathy.

Oh, you could contact Papyrus. It was set up by a mother whose son hanged himself.

Edit: I'm so sorry, OP? I now see that Papyrus is for the prevention of suicide in the young.

I am correct in that it was set up by a mother after her son's suicide, though. I hope you can find some help.

Seanymph

I have no words of comfort I'm afraid, but didn't want to read and leave without offering my sympathy for your loss.

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Brochures/surviving_your_childs_suicide.aspx

This seems like it may be helpful.

Bennifred

So very sorry to hear about your son, Shushannah.:(

If it will help to let your feelings on here, I for one am willing to listen.

marisco_2

I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you have the love and support of friends and family around you to help you through this awful time. Though of course they will also be dealing with their own feelings of grief too.

Would it help to speak to someone neutral? Cruse bereavement care supports people after the death of someone close to them. Their phone number is 0844 477 9400. I also found the Samaritans to be an invaluable help to me years ago. They operate a 24 hour service and you can get hold of them on 08457 909090. Your gp may also be able to refer you for grief counselling. My thoughts are with you.

Spirit_2

I am so sorry for your dreadful loss.

It is such early days.

My sister lost two sons in tragic circumstances it has taken several years for her to get to any sense of normal rythym to daily life.

Try Cruse, google child bereavement charities , talk to your GP, local church leaders and friends.

We had many years earlier lost a mid 20's family member to suicide, and still do not understand why.

My heart goes out to you.

koan_2

Terrible, I'm so sorry OP

It's not unheard of, unfortunately. Teens are taking their own lives, and leaving behind them baffled, bewildered and traumatised families and friends.

Let time pass (I know it's a cliche, but it is true), and get your feelings out whenever you can and in whatever way you find it helpful. Writing, drawing, keeping a journal, talking to someone, whatever it may be. You need time and space, don't be too hard on yourself.

Cruse may possibly help, but I seem to remember someone saying they only offer counselling after three months has passed? (Someone correct me if that's wrong)

troubleinparadise

So sorry to hear of your very sad loss of your son

Have you tried talking to your GP as a possible link to some help quickly?

Under very different circumstances I did see my GP when I couldn't cope, and she was very helpful.

I'm not surprised you are struggling to cope - that is a massively traumatic loss, and it really is more than you can deal with on your own without some trained help, although having safe, supportive and trusted friends around you will help on a daily level too.

Just be kind to yourself, only do what you really have to do, and take time to rest, eat when you can and don't ask too much of yourself.

Take care :A

heartbreak_star

I wish I knew what to say.

I'm so sorry.

HBS x

Upsidedown_Bear

So sorry for your loss.
You might find this helpful.

http://www.uk-sobs.org.uk/

GwylimT

If you haven't already you benefit from a counseling service, it is often easier to talk to someone from the 'outside' as many of us feel that talking to relatives/friends is placing our grief upon them and preventing them from coping.

It might help if you have something to focus on, I know when my aunt died my grandparents both took up hobbies as a way to deal with their grief, for them doing something new and meeting new people helped and gave them something to focus on, they chose things my aunt enjoyed doing as well. They carried on certain traditions as well, they carried on buying her favourite chocolates on her birthday and at xmas and ate them all themselves. They were very open about how they felt and I think that really helped them cope.