Cheating husband or paranoid pregnant wife?!!

System

He needs help and he needs it soon.:(

*Diva*

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

You might find your husband is trying to please you, maybe thinking you would be happy if he presented the friend you made out was attractive as a willing partner for the two of you.

Or you start talking about other women, which adds a bit of spice to your lovemaking, and maybe he's thinking that it would be exciting for the spice to stay.

Or maybe he is a scumbag and thinks your friend might be easy after your conversation together (did you say anything about this friend?)

The key I think is whether he was doing this before the whole subject came up that night.

He hasnt and didnt do anything prior to this conversation we had. He really is the best (other than mentioned above).


I am starting to think he did it to try and see if she was interested but it doesnt make sense because he was saying to me after that night not to mention it to anyone as he didnt know anyone who did this and he didnt want my freinds to think we were a wierd couple etc...


No I didnt say anythng about this friend or her sexual activeness etc

justjohn

Think you need to find out exactly what he is upto / his intentions. Then decide what you are going to do about it.

Or you will just never know....which in my opinion is just the same as turning a blind eye to certain behaviour.

*Diva*

ostrichnomore wrote: »

You haven't said exactly what was in the messages but they must have been quite offensive for your friend to tell him to f off, and to come to you about it.

I wonder if he took your fantasies/conversation seriously? He hasn't suddenly changed from the person he was before. It could be that it was always a secret fantasy of his that he thinks 'great, wifeys up for it, let give it a whirl'. Or it could be that he thinks it's something you want to do and he is trying to sort it out to make you happy, despite not really being keen himself.

Fantasies of all sorts are fine. A couple has to agree which are strictly fantasy and which are a wish-list. Talk to him about it.

(on the odd behaviour - not relevant to all this - but he has a problem he should see the doctor about. Don't want to do that internet diagnosis thing, but he really needs to go. And you need to stop feeding it by washing clothes multiple times etc for him. If he can't bear for this not to happen, let him do it, but you need to be able to live in a normal way. Not easy with someone with this type of behaviour, but it can be done and it does a lot for your own welfare).

There wasnt actually anything explicit in the messaages, it was the usual hi how r u etc.
Then I have seen u somewhere and then oh I just realised who you are. Ever so sorry to message u. you are my wifes freind apologies for messaging u please dont tell her. (that was on Tango at 8pm on monday night)


then tuesday lunchtime he messaged her actual phone number saying something quiet similiar and generic.
The reason she told him to fc uk was because my freind is a bit of a hard nut and also because she realised it was my husband.


thats the difficault bit I cany ascertain at this moment in time, did he act on it because of his own sexual desires using me as a scapegoat OR is he genuinely trying to make me happy and starting the ball rolling for v-day and its my bday soon and our wedding anniversary.


I feel like an absolute idiot if its the latter.

*Diva*

dragonette wrote: »

I suppose part of it is, did he get the impression (justified or not!) That this was an active request for a threesome, or a chat about possibilites but obv not atm. Or not going to happen but nice to think about.

Might be worth asking what he thought tt meant, but it may be difficult to smooth things with your friend. Good luck

I am not sure what impression I gave off as I dont think I was actually thinking about what I was saying. I have been trying so hard and so many things to keep his mind occupied so he doesnt worry about his "aches and pains".
I didnt request it nor confirm it was a possibility if that makes sense.The fc uked up thing is NONE of it is even what I want..it was purely to keep his mind away frm his pains

notanewuser

*Diva* wrote: »

is he genuinely trying to make me happy and starting the ball rolling for v-day and its my bday soon and our wedding anniversary.


I feel like an absolute idiot if its the latter.

What's "v-day"?

It's customary for a man to buy his wife an eternity ring following the birth of the first child, not to arrange some sort of weird threesome!!!

*Diva*

justjohn wrote: »

Think you need to find out exactly what he is upto / his intentions. Then decide what you are going to do about it.

Or you will just never know....which in my opinion is just the same as turning a blind eye to certain behaviour.

But will he just be a MAN and own up. If he was going to tell me about his intentions he would have said y not message your freind and ask her what she thinks about the situo etc rather than snoop through my phone and get her number etc..


I really dont want to turn a blind eye because it will just eat me from inside

notanewuser

I think your husband is going to struggle with having to play 2nd fiddle once the baby arrives.

Pleaseadvise

You're due to give birth any day now, and you think your husband thinks you'll be up for a threesome on Valentine's day in 10 days time?

*Diva*

notanewuser wrote: »

What's "v-day"?

It's customary for a man to buy his wife an eternity ring following the birth of the first child, not to arrange some sort of weird threesome!!!

LOL YEH I KNOW! Well I thnk hes got the ring side of it sorted as he was trying my ring on his little finger that day (Probably for size)


v-day - valentines day