Money and Me - A Love/Hate Story

Rollercoaster_Rach

Hi there! Subscribing please :T Great insights!

RR x

[Deleted User]

Hi Skinty, I have just read through your diary and I can also relate to a lot of what you say.

I have sooooo many self-help books. Have tried green tea, chamomile tea, and he worst of all nettle tea (truly disgusting). I am a sucker for any tub of moisturiser or bit of make up that says it will give me a 'healthy glow'. Now the fact that I am too much of a lazy ar*e to put make-up on daily is neither here nor there - I buy it anyhow promising myself that this time.... but nothing ever changes.

I am not really sure when I had my light bulb moment. I started using this site in 2006 so it must have been after that. I remember hearing about Martin Lewis and trying his method to get better house insurance deals. As that time I was paying £35 per month. I used Martin's methods and was flabbergasted when quotes came in at £15 a month instead. That was me hooked. Now that doesn't mean I have always been frugal since then. I have spent a fortune on my house - taken out loans to get the drive mono-blocked etc. But slowly and surely my attitude changed due to being on this site regularly. I paid off my loans (plural, including my student loans and OHs loans) and it was quite a kick to see them reducing. I paid of my credit cards (plural) and eventually I was determined that I would save to pay off my mortgage - which I did a couple of years ago.

It was at that point I started to save. I found this quite hard. I eventually saved £12k but blew it on a new car and a holiday last year:eek::eek: so still not that sensible! So I started saving from scratch again and now have £13k in savings.

That said, I know I still waste money on self-help books, takeaways (cos what's in the cupboard doesn't appeal) and various other bits. OH and I allocate spending money for each of us on payday. Both of us know we have a problem here as we usually have spent it on cr*p by about the 10th of the month (if we get that far) so we are trying to think of other ways to organise of spending money. Because of his months overspend I have had to dip into the savings to buy food this week. Not good. That said, this journey is about progress, not perfection. So my next bit of progress needs to be getting our monthly spending sorted out somehow.

Best of luck on your journey. And a huge thank you for your support to me over on the Frugal Living thread and for your PMs.

skintygerlinky

Rollercoaster Rach - hi there!! Thanks for reading and let me know where you are on the forum xx

allie - thanks for your comments. What is really striking me is just how similar some people's stories are on here. Truthfully it makes me feel less alone, but can also empathise with how others are feeling.

But here we are and we're all doing what we can and learning as we go. And you're right re: offering support to each other, it helps and is appreciated!!

So thank you again to everyone reading my diary and (long, rambling!!) thoughts - I certainly can't buy that and it is absolutely invaluable! xxxxx

Rollercoaster_Rach

Hiya I've got a diary 'Life and times of a debt busting mumma' you're most welcome

RR x

skintygerlinky

Cheers Rach will have a look! xx

girlatplay

Hi skinty

I just stumbled across your diary today. I subscribed after reading the first post as you really "captured" me with that. As I read on I found myself laughing out loud at your musings which is not good as I am at work and the office is very quiet. However, laughter is the best medicine (some self-help book told me) so I will continue to read and try to stifle it a bit.

I am 36. I have to check that when I type it. Keep thinking I have fat fingers as I really only feel 26. Oh well Anyway, one thing I realised around the time I had my lightbulb moment was Prince Charming isn't coming. Once I realised that I went from scrabbling down the back of the sofa for 8p for a packet of noodles to feed DD and myself (we shared it for our tea) and seriously considering bankruptcy, to working out a way to pay off all my debt, paying it off, getting a mortgage over a little flat and having some savings in the bank. I realised I could do it all on my own and actually, I have achieved far more on my own than I ever did with anyone else. Apart from DD. I couldn't manifest her myself, I did require the help of King Twitalot. Prince Charming he certainly wasn't. Anyway, moving on (as I did) you can absolutely do this on your own. When the right person comes along you will be ready for them. Make sure you love yourself and are comfortable with yourself, then you can do anything (hmmm another self-help book suggestion??)

I look forward to following your story

JustAboutThere

Sorry for barging in.

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

It could be worse, while at a meeting with the bank, I was asked conversationally what I did. When I replied risk management, the appalled bank manager said, without forethought, that he hoped I'd a better approach in my professional life than I did to my personal finances. Poor man was mortified when he realised what he'd said.

I remember working for a chap, who is one of the most intelligent people I've ever met - he'd been married for years and he and his wife were expecting their first child. He asked me to be a witness to their FIRST WILL. I was appalled - and don't think I managed to hide it very well.

I had my first will at 18. OK, that was only 'cos they were doing them for free at the Uni I was working at and my only listed asset was my stereo, but still . . . I know people don't like thinking about death, but having no will isn't going to make bad things stop happening.

Working at the Uni firmly cured me of my ideas that student's are intelligent. Maybe in their own subject, but in everyday life - it was truly scary. The worst one's for adding up their enrolment fees were the future accountants. I kid you not!

Keep going - you're doing fine.

skintygerlinky

girlatplay - thanks for your lovely words!! And for taking the time to read my rambling stream of consciousness!

Bloody well done you for reaching the position you're in today - it deffo reflects my thoughts re: 'it's not the money, it's the attitude'. You have an attitude, young lady! And it's a GREAT one! What a great example you are to your daughter xx

Another flashback:

It's a few years ago and I want to go to the Glastonbury festival. I've wanted to go for years and years. No one wants to go with me as they just can't face the mud - why don't we go Marbella instead?? So I just....go on my own.

I'm dead proud of myself and can't wait to see Jimmy Cliff, Morrissey, Warpaint, BAD, there's a rumour Pulp are playing. Bring it on!

At first folk think I'm mad. But then they come round and say they'e proud of me for doing it alone. I agree; I am clearly ace. I am, like, Erin Brockovitch and all the WWII land girls rolled into one! I have flowery wellies! And a pre-pitched tent - I am also not completely stupid!!

But........

I arrive at Glasto in pouring rain. Mud has taken over the world and the world is pregnant with more mud. I, for some reason, have brought a...wheeled suitcase.
I then walk the length and breadth of Glasto trying to find my tent, wheeling my suitcase through MUUUUUUUUUUUUUD. I am an idiot!

At one point I just stop still, sit on my suitcase and actually say aloud 'I WISH I HAD A BOYFRIEND'.
Because....what?????
Because I want someone to carry my case. That's why.

Told you I was an idiot.

Two seconds later, I'm over it. The only reason I want a boyfriend is because I want them to carry my baggage. I am a selfish idiot.

I don't want or need anyone to carry my baggage, whether it's physical or metaphorical. My baggage is my problems and issues and for me to sort out. Whilst it's lovely to share concerns and worries with other halves/family/friends/forum-ites, to ask them to shoulder and sort them for me is just plain wrong. Am proud that financially I'm continuing to do that

I found my tent. I had the best weekend. I watched 20mins of Coldplay and thought 'BOOOORRIIIIING!' and found Kool and The Gang playing in a tent. They were, of course, ace!!

The year after I went to a different festival with my new boyfriend.

We split up during it cos I said Jessie J was miming.

Oh well!!

Rollercoaster_Rach

Hahahaha! Jessie J....:rotfl:

I can relate. I spent many years wanting boyfriends to carry my case.
I've been on my own now for a good few years. Love it! Trouble is don't know if I can allow anyone to go near the case again!!

Trying internet dating again...feel a bit half !!!!!d about it.

It is so important to think about your motivations. Although I do think I need to learn that it is OK to rely on other people a bit

Have a great day. You really made me laugh this morning!

:T

RR x

girlatplay

My boss is in today and I am sure he thinks I am either choking or sneezing. He is out tomorrow so I will be able to laugh out loud then!

Rollercoaster_Rach wrote: »

...I can relate. I spent many years wanting boyfriends to carry my case.
I've been on my own now for a good few years. Love it! Trouble is don't know if I can allow anyone to go near the case again!!

^^^^This. This is me. In 2010 I took Little Miss Gap to Florida. Just the two of us. We carried our own cases (I made her carry her case herself - age 10 - all 6 pairs of shoes and the rest of the carp she wanted to take - they were cases with wheels, I am not that cruel). Thing is, I just did it. Didn't give it a second thought. I don't want help. I cope perfectly well on my own. I did have a relationship a couple of years back but I found him pathetic. I did everything and he just pretended he couldn't do stuff. Grrr :mad:

Anyway, you got over it and you did it. Go you! I LOL'd at Jessie J too.