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Pre-nup wanted by future in laws
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It seems really simple to me, OP - if you don't want to be manipulated, don't be bought and paid for. Stand on your own two financial feet....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0
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Georgiegirl256 wrote: »What's love got to do with it? I actually can't believe you said that! :eek: If you haven't got love you haven't got anything, and you shouldn't be getting married. I love my husband, he's my rock. If I didn't love him I wouldn't have married him.
* I have Tina Turners 'What's love got to with it?' going round my head now!
Well, I was being a tad flippant.
Its naive to think marriage is just about romantic feelings though, if love was really all that mattered you wouldn't need to do it.
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Person_one wrote: »Well, I was being a tad flippant.
Its naive to think marriage is just about romantic feelings though, if love was really all that mattered you wouldn't need to do it.
Very true, although I'm sure most people would say it's the main ingredient.
But yes, I agree, there are many reasons why people get married.0 -
Wouldn't be my idea of fun, but there are lots of arranged marriages that suit both parties perfectly well....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0
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If you are not prepared to make the commitment that comes with marriage, including the financial one, why make it in the first place? I really don't understand anyone being prepared to be married to someone who is in essence telling them 'I'll marry but am not prepared to take any risks'. It would be the end of my desire to marry them!
In this case though, it is the father who is putting the pressure so really for the son to take responsibility for it. He either needs to tell his dad to get lost, or make it clear to OP that he stands by his dad.0 -
I've been in love with all of my husbands - at the time.
And actually one point here I do have to correct - we have a second house that is lived in by the eldest and his g/f and we raised a mortgage on it and they both had to sign to remove any future interest or claim on the property - because they do accrue one just living there.
Your son and his g/f are accruing one in your house, and your FIL doesn't want you to accrue one in the house intended for your husband.
If everything is luvverly in marriage then it doesn't matter if you do sign - my husband lives in my house. And his son and g/f signed to relinquish any future rights in his.
It's the 'business' side of getting married - just like drawing up new wills and organising who will care for your children.
It's not the palatable 'hearts and flowers' bit - but it's an aspect that needs addressing none the less.0 -
OP, what will happen if you simply refuse to sign it?Pants0
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If you are not prepared to make the commitment that comes with marriage, including the financial one, why make it in the first place? I really don't understand anyone being prepared to be married to someone who is in essence telling them 'I'll marry but am not prepared to take any risks'. It would be the end of my desire to marry them!
In this case though, it is the father who is putting the pressure so really for the son to take responsibility for it. He either needs to tell his dad to get lost, or make it clear to OP that he stands by his dad.
Prenups ( in uk especially but not just in uk) don't eliminate risk. They do discuss the commitment that comes with marriage, especially the financial one. Sometimes by being business over ' the contractual stuff' some people can relax over the other stuff.
Fwiw, its possible to have prenups but then pool all resources, for example.
Love itself is a risk, you make your self vulnerable. Its still worth it.0 -
In many countries an inheritance does not ever form part of the heir's marital assets. It is held solely by the heir in his own name. I don't see prospective brides or grooms feeling aggrieved by this. What the FIL seeks to do here is replicate this, and it is sensible from his point of view because after all it is his own house and he most probably wants to keep it in the family. Can't blame him, the fact that the OP has been with her partner for 7 years is no guarantee that she will be with him for the next 7 years at the least. Nothing stops the OP from protecting her assets either.0
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I'm sorry but I was firmly on the OP's side until she announced that she'd got a house of her own that she wanted to protect.
Sounds like double standards to me.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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