Nursery Concerns.....what to do for the best?

sacha28

jetplane wrote: »

Try to stop stressing, you are trying to think of an answer / reason / explanation for any scenario the nursery may throw back at you. I have been there and believe me I have been called neurotic and I probably wound myself up into that anxious state all by myself.

The nursery will have a learning journal for your son and methods for tracking his progress, they have to do this for ofsted and if they are outstanding then it should be up to date and show improvement. Ask the manager to have this ready for you to read, they should give you regular feedback anyway. Then ask the manager how they plan to progress with his learning journey if he is in the baby room. This is not confrontational it is something that you need to know.

Take a step back and write down the main concerns and don't keep adding to your list. The nursery is great, it is convenient and so far it has served yours and your sons needs well. They have been judged outstanding overall but this does not mean that they can not make a wrong decision or be complacent. It also means that they can not provide a place where there isn't one and you really don't want to start an argument over whose child deserves a place more.

So if you were looking at that nursery today for the first time and they said we only have a space for your son in the baby room would you place him there? No, you would look for another nursery and you still have that choice. You don't want to back the manager into a corner but simply put, if there is no room for your child there then you will need to look elsewhere.

Regards your sons attachment he is going to be left with no friends in his group anyway and still have contact with his current friend/s out of nursery, so the transition to a new nursery wont be so traumatic. He has already forgotten his much loved previous nursery nurse. He is bright so it will probably be a new adventure for him.

Thanks for this! I am fully aware that I am winding myself up about this and trying to second guess what the nursery manager will say is not helping!!

This has never been about my child deserving a place over other children, all of the other children have moved up and my son is the only one left over 12 months old, but about the fact that I feel his not moving up to a room designed for his age and staying with babies until he is 2 1/2 will be detrimental to his overall development. As I said in a PP, he has started crawling around the front room saying 'goo, goo, ga, mummy's baby boy' and I find it concerning.

I need a coffee and a packet of custard creams I think, calm myself down :rotfl:

flutterby_lil

warehouse wrote: »

So no alternatives to nursery's then?

Not where I live, no.

whitewing

My daughter went thro a stage of regression, even though she was appropriately moved up at nursery. In fact, come to think of it, she was moved up quicker than normal as she ready earlier than most. Her regression (similar to your son's) was to do with me changing my working patterns, I think. Plus I had unwittingly got into the habit of big, squeezy cuddles for my 'baby girl'. She was so much younger than DD, it was just an affectionate nickname at home, but I stopped using it and we've had no problems since.

ema_o

My boy got held back in the baby room a bit too long - althought there are quite a few rooms so it wasn't quite as extreme as the OP.
There was no space to move him until one day he threw a car at a younger child. Not that I condone it, but it was frustration and boredom (he wouldn't usually have hurt someone). Pretty much the next day they started pre visits to the next room.
Hope the meeting went well. In your shoes I wouldn't think May was acceptable, if your son will be a whole year older than the other children in the same room. At our nursery the transition takes as long as they need it to, so for some it's a few weeks, for others it is far quicker.

You have made me think, as mine is almost 3 and the next room is 3 plus. The staff keep alluding to the fact that there might not be space as the 3 plus room keeps filling up until the children leave in September. I will start looking elsewhere just so I know what my options are!

flutterby_lil

Sacha, how have you got on at nursery?

Make-it-3

Unfortunately a place isn't going to magically appear as they need to stick to OFSTED ratios. But I would be going into the meeting to see what they will do to help alleviate the problem (which is obviously caused by their bad management of head count).

In my daughters nursery there is more fluidity between rooms - so children who want to go to the bigger room can do so during times when space is available. Is this not a possibility for your son? The rooms can only accept a certain number each day but you never get 100% attendance because kids are ill or off on holiday.

You need to also get in no uncertain terms a guarantee that the next space available will be for you. They should know this by the birthday of the next child due to move to pre-school.

quidsy

I think the other thign that needs to be addressed is that they have stated that he wont move up as he "isnt developmentally ready" which if the OP is being honest in her description of her child is BS on the nurserys part.

If they are saying this purely becuase they have over subscribed then I would be moving him regardless of what they say at a meeting. So would ensure they have a very good reason for stating his development is behind.

sacha28

Hey guys, update from my earlier meeting with nursery

Firstly, a space on a Monday has magically appeared and they have asked if I would be happy for DS to split his time, initially, between 2 rooms. OF COURSE!!! At least he will get to spend a proportion of his time with kids his own age/older. They have also guaranteed that, should a child not go into the older room because of sickness etc (this happens on a weekly basis) then my DS will be placed into that room. He will also be taken over to the older room on a regular basis for small amounts of time (an hour here, an hour there) by his keyworker to ensure he gets plenty of interaction with his peers and see his best friend :j

It was amusing seeing the manager stumped when she said all activities were designed around all of the ages in the room. I asked her to name an activity that an 8 month old could do with my 2 year old son......uh, I can't, sorry. :rotfl:

I feel better about everything but I have said that I will be keeping a close eye and seeing how things go over the next couple of months and if I feel my son is being compromised intellectually and emotionally by spending so much time with babies then I will be moving him!

bigmomma051204

sacha28 wrote: »

Hey guys, update from my earlier meeting with nursery

Firstly, a space on a Monday has magically appeared and they have asked if I would be happy for DS to split his time, initially, between 2 rooms. OF COURSE!!! At least he will get to spend a proportion of his time with kids his own age/older. They have also guaranteed that, should a child not go into the older room because of sickness etc (this happens on a weekly basis) then my DS will be placed into that room. He will also be taken over to the older room on a regular basis for small amounts of time (an hour here, an hour there) by his keyworker to ensure he gets plenty of interaction with his peers and see his best friend :j

It was amusing seeing the manager stumped when she said all activities were designed around all of the ages in the room. I asked her to name an activity that an 8 month old could do with my 2 year old son......uh, I can't, sorry. :rotfl:

I feel better about everything but I have said that I will be keeping a close eye and seeing how things go over the next couple of months and if I feel my son is being compromised intellectually and emotionally by spending so much time with babies then I will be moving him!

Hi

I am glad that they have appeared to try and somewhat solve your issue.

Here is my input .....

I work in the Early Years sector. I strongly agree with you that it is inappropriate for your 2 year old to be "kept back" in a room with only babies when there is an alternative room available - I also agree with you that if there isn't room, then in fact that is an over-subscription issue and should have been addressed prior to this situation occurring.

Peer interaction is imperative for enabling children to meet their developmental milestones. Social experiences are an underpinning value when looking at development in young children including speech & language development, social skills, making relationships, self-confidence, self-awareness and managing their feelings and behaviour.

Take a practical example - How will a child learn the valuable skill of sharing toys, if they are in a room where they aren't required to do so?
How will a child develop without seeing the "goal" by watching other, older children - ie using cutlery, playing with friends, turn taking etc.
How will your child be encouraged to try new experiences and judge "risk" for themselves, if they are in a room which is designed for babies?

As you have mentioned, there is no valuable, practical or tangible way that an activity which developmentally challenges a 4 month old can challenge a 2 year old. Please bear in mind as someone else has mentioned the EYFS which guides the way ALL early years settings plan activities for children 0yrs-5yrs. 2 out of the 3 PRIME areas of learning are: 1) Communication & Language and 2) Personal, social & emotional development (the third being physical development) The nursery MUST be able to show that the activities they are providing your child every day are meeting those prime areas of learning and challenging your child developmentally.

You might find the document in this link helpful or at least interesting regards the EYFS (open the document) http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CC0QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.foundationyears.org.uk%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F06%2FEYFS_Parents_Guide.doc&ei=_NPqUrfQOqSK7AauzYCgAw&usg=AFQjCNF9q4D-wbNMk7uA83mkhDeqNTZiGg&sig2=73IEOeswJOStxUA0zFImdw&bvm=bv.60444564,d.bGQ


The nursery would have an extremely hard time justifying this situation to OFSTED were they to pop up again now. You are totally right to question the situation Keep doing so until you are happy!! They are there to ensure that EVERY child meets their full potential. Remember that

xxxx

Longtimelurker

As a mother whose babies went to nursery quite young (yes awful of me I know, but I have no regrets and it was the best decision for my family), I would have been concerned if a boy of over two years old was still in the baby room with the little ones. A lad of two plus looks enormous next to a six month baby girl!!

Whilst I am sure the OPs little boy is very gentle and sensitive, physically he will be just too big to safely play in a baby room.

Sounds quite unprofessional to me, I would be keeping a close eye on the situation or looking for an alternative.