Nursery Concerns.....what to do for the best?

sacha28

I have a situation that both myself and OH have some concerns about and just wondered what the general opinion.

Our DS will be 2 in March and is very 'forward' for his age (to the point that we forget he is not yet 2!!). He has always done things in fast forward......sitting unaided at 17 weeks, crawling at 20 weeks, walking independently at 9 1/2 months etc. Now at 22 months he is way ahead of himself and you can hold quite a conversation with him and he communicates his needs very clearly 'mummy, my ear is sore' etc etc.

After a flippant comment at nursery last week about how my DS will miss his nursery teachers (is that what they're called?!) when he moves up in a few weeks, I was told they aren't able to accommodate him and it may be a 'while' before he moves up. Today, I had a letter informing me that it will be unlikely he moves up until the summer :eek:

This really bothers me. He is currently in the baby room and, after his best friend moves up fully in 2 weeks (he's been slowly integrated over the past few weeks) he will be the only child left in the room over 12 months old. I feel this will be detrimental to his development and will probably take him back, rather than bringing him forward further. Today my friend went to pick up her LB (said best friend) and she put him back in the baby room to play with my DS while she spoke to the manager and she said he was in there with 3 baby girls, all under a year, and was sat in the corner on his own looking quite despondent. This upset me and OH quite a bit as he is very sociable and likes to play, but isn't able to play properly with babies.

By the time they are able to move my DS up, he will be 2 1/2. The new children will only be younger so I feel he will get left behind. I'm feeling my only option is to move him to a nursery where he can be with peers his own age BUT he has attended this nursery since he was 5 months old and is happy there.

Am I being over-sensitive? What would you do?

sacha28

Oh I forgot to mention......I'm also annoyed at the nursery as, had I not made that comment, they weren't going to tell me about this!!!

sweaty_betty

sacha28 wrote: »

I have a situation that both myself and OH have some concerns about and just wondered what the general opinion.

Our DS will be 2 in March and is very 'forward' for his age (to the point that we forget he is not yet 2!!). He has always done things in fast forward......sitting unaided at 17 weeks, crawling at 20 weeks, walking independently at 9 1/2 months etc. Now at 22 months he is way ahead of himself and you can hold quite a conversation with him and he communicates his needs very clearly 'mummy, my ear is sore' etc etc.

After a flippant comment at nursery last week about how my DS will miss his nursery teachers (is that what they're called?!) when he moves up in a few weeks, I was told they aren't able to accommodate him and it may be a 'while' before he moves up. Today, I had a letter informing me that it will be unlikely he moves up until the summer :eek:

This really bothers me. He is currently in the baby room and, after his best friend moves up fully in 2 weeks (he's been slowly integrated over the past few weeks) he will be the only child left in the room over 12 months old. I feel this will be detrimental to his development and will probably take him back, rather than bringing him forward further. Today my friend went to pick up her LB (said best friend) and she put him back in the baby room to play with my DS while she spoke to the manager and she said he was in there with 3 baby girls, all under a year, and was sat in the corner on his own looking quite despondent. This upset me and OH quite a bit as he is very sociable and likes to play, but isn't able to play properly with babies.

By the time they are able to move my DS up, he will be 2 1/2. The new children will only be younger so I feel he will get left behind. I'm feeling my only option is to move him to a nursery where he can be with peers his own age BUT he has attended this nursery since he was 5 months old and is happy there.

Am I being over-sensitive? What would you do?

I would speak to the nursery manager and let them know your concerns and that you're not happy about the proposal to delay him moving up by months. There may be a good reason, but you need to have that discussion.

How many rooms/classes are there at the nursery? Ours has 4, babies 3-12 months (approx), 12-24 months, aged 2-3, then into pre-school when they turn 3. I felt this was about right - any fewer and I would argue it's much more difficult to cater for the range in ages within rooms/classes.

Ultimately, you may need to consider moving him if you are not happy I'm afraid.

wendz86

I would definitely try and speak to them again. My daughters nursery try and move friends together as long as they are similar levels .

If not I would agree you may have to move him.

sooty&sweep

Hi
Personally I wouldn't be happy with this situation.
What will he be spending his day doing ? As activities suitable for a 2 year old are somewhat different to those for a 12 month old.
Jen

sacha28

sweaty_betty wrote: »

I would speak to the nursery manager and let them know your concerns and that you're not happy about the proposal to delay him moving up by months. There may be a good reason, but you need to have that discussion.

How many rooms/classes are there at the nursery? Ours has 4, babies 3-12 months (approx), 12-24 months, aged 2-3, then into pre-school when they turn 3. I felt this was about right - any fewer and I would argue it's much more difficult to cater for the range in ages within rooms/classes.

Ultimately, you may need to consider moving him if you are not happy I'm afraid.

I haven't spoken to the manager, yet, as I only found the letter tonight when I got him home. I spoke to the room leader last week (after being told of the situation) and she explained that they do it all on when birthday's fall. My DS is 2 weeks younger than his little friend. She said the problem is that they have no movement further up the chain (so to speak) and they have to wait until the pre-schoolers leave to go to school until there is movement. I feel this means they have over-subscribed themselves.

They have 2x 3 month-2 years room, 1x 2 years -pre-school and 1 pre-school room. Their waiting list is HUGE

whitewing

Your health visitor may be a good source of advice and support on this; I know ours visits the local nursery as she sometimes speaks to me lo there.

sacha28

To add insult to injury, I spoke to my friend tonight about her LB and she said he's really unsettled since starting the move. Our boys have known each other since they were born and started nursery on the same day. They go on the same days too. It appears it's affected him to the point where he's been waking up asking where my DS is several times a night they are just so lovely together and they really seem to be missing each other.

GobbledyGook

You need to speak to them to ask what the intend to do to make sure he's stimulated and how they plan to cater for his needs.

It would be far better if they kept one or two other older children with him, but they wouldn't do that as they'll not be able to fill the spots in the baby room.

Do you pick him up at the same time every day? Have you ever seen him looking fed up like your friend did? Can you vary pick up time so that you can see what he's doing? (more for your own peace of mind that he's not sat in a corner all the time, but also for the slight chance that he's not happy)

Tbh my biggest concern would be the fact that they didn't plan to tell you. That's not good. Anything like that should be discussed in full.

Don't let the fact he's been there so long be the deciding factor for you - he's has very different needs than he did then. I used the same nursery from when I went back to work until around a year and then a different one. The first were fabulous with babies, but (imo) lacked when it came too toddlers and older kids. The other wasn't as warm and homely with babies, but were excellent with bigger kids (mine were muddy or covered in paint or something every day and loved it!). So don't worry about moving him from that angle. If it's right for him it's right for him.

butler_helen

I would approach the nursery and if they can't accommodate a move I'd move him.

If I'm not happy with my baby's care I would look elsewhere, after all it costs enough!

I think mothers intuition is kicking in for you here.

sacha28

I usually pick him up between 5 and 5.30pm but, by that point, they have generally moved both the baby rooms together so there are a few more older kiddies knocking about (although the ratio has decreased somewhat). Nursery have said that he's very good at playing on his own which, at the time, I thought was a good thing but now I'm thinking it's because he has to as there are no older children to occupy him!!!

He had so much upheaval in sept last year when all but 1 of his teachers left and were replaced with new people but he seemed to cope quite well with that, after a couple of weeks, but he had all of his friends with him. None of which are there anymore