How much is enough 'spending money' for a month?

Kayalana99

Gillyx wrote: »

You can't dictate but surely part of being in a relationship and part of a couple, particularly that with kids who are obviously building a home together, if your partner was concerned about your health you wouldn't just ignore there concerns. You'd take it on board and listen to what they had to say and potentially cut down.

I for one, would not be happy for my son to grow up in a house where alcohol was being consumed every night, I'm just not sure what sort of example that sets but maybe I'm weird.

No that's not weird at all, the original plan that I tended to go back to was for him not to drink before the kids were in bed - unf we have had no end of trouble with our LO going to bed and we usually end up going to bed together although he is getting better now. I might suggest that again as it was agreed on but when they were older as my eldest was only a baby baby at the time I first said it. I suppose I've just got used to it as well that I barely give it a 2nd thought anymore.

Bennifred

It isn't just his liver he's damaging. My BIL has early onset alcohol-induced dementia. He's 42. He wasn't a lying-in-the-street drunk - he drank like your OH drinks. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.:(

Colin_Hunt

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Hiya guys,

More talking to the lower earners really, but how much is to little?

Me and my partner have agreed to spend £200 a month each as spending money only.

This is leaving us with about £500 spare to save (but only untill June won't go into that) but part of me is thinking is this to much to save as I feel more for my partner that £200 isn't alot...and because he goes off to work and I am with the kids (maternity leave) he is likey to spend more then me on extras like food.

I think we 'need' to be putting £350 away so we can pay the car insurance off in one go in June & few other bits (when we will have less income so makes sense) so it leaves us an extra £150...what would you do ?

Should we enjoy it while we have it or put it away while we have it?

How much do you tend to spend on extras? £200 is alot to me but my partner its not & he is the one working atm... esp since he buys alot of beer on top so he rarely has spare cash to buy himself much else.

Forgive me, but are you saying that you have agreed a budget with your husband that covers all your outgoings, then allows some savings, and also allows you to both have £200 a month for spends?
If so, surely its up to him what he spends his money on?
Every £ spent could be spent on something else, he should be free to spend it as he likes, what would you like him to spend his money on?

Gillyx

They only get more impressionable as they get older, and teenagers won't go to bed at 7pm so it would become harder as time goes on to keep his drinking to 'once the kids are in bed'

IMO I think it'd be easier to nip this in the bud now, rather than later on just my 2 pence worth though.

paulineb_2

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I have done, I have even mentioned going to the doctors for a health check up on finding out that a kind of family member on my side has liver damage due to drinking which got me thinking about his health recently..that said we are pretty sure this guy has been drinking vodka straight out the bottle kind of drinking its a whole other story..

He has had times when he's been drinking alot (it tends to go the more money the more drinking) and he's cut down to a couple a night but it always tends to be about 4 cans a night as his norm that he gets back to.

End day I can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to, other then taking his money out of his account and dictating how he spends it.

I understand that you arent unaware about alcohol and what it can do to people and that you are concerned about people who drink too much. But there are so many myths around drinking its unreal.

Ive seen people post saying that they drink two bottles of wine a night and thats ok because they arent drinking first thing in the morning or spirits. A unit of alcohol is a unit of alcohol regardless.
Its not better for the body to drink beer instead of whiskey or wine instead of whiskey and there will always be someone who we can compare ourselves to and think well Im not as bad as that person.

4 cans of beer at 3 units a can is equivalent to 12 x 25 ml measures of vodka. It can just seem less because its beer and its not a spirit. If hes drinking stronger lager, they can have 4 units a can. Which would be the equivalent of 16 vodkas a night. A third of a pint of beer is one unit of alcohol, a 25 ml measure of spirit, one unit of alcohol.

I know what you mean when you are saying its his money and I appreciate that if you get on his case it will be seen as nagging.

Getting on his case about this could be the best thing you ever do for him.

Theres a very fine line between someone getting an alcohol problem and already having one for a lot of people.

GBNI

Couldn't agree more with PaulineB has said. Two people I know are what I would call 'functioning alcoholics.' You wouldn't know it to look at them, they have respectable jobs and get up for work every day, clean cut etc but they cannot and will not go without alcohol nearly every night. And it's not just one drink.

jacques_chirac

paulineb wrote: »

I understand that you arent unaware about alcohol and what it can do to people and that you are concerned about people who drink too much. But there are so many myths around drinking its unreal.

Ive seen people post saying that they drink two bottles of wine a night and thats ok because they arent drinking first thing in the morning or spirits. A unit of alcohol is a unit of alcohol regardless.
Its not better for the body to drink beer instead of whiskey or wine instead of whiskey and there will always be someone who we can compare ourselves to and think well Im not as bad as that person.

4 cans of beer at 3 units a can is equivalent to 12 x 25 ml measures of vodka. It can just seem less because its beer and its not a spirit. If hes drinking stronger lager, they can have 4 units a can. Which would be the equivalent of 16 vodkas a night. A third of a pint of beer is one unit of alcohol, a 25 ml measure of spirit, one unit of alcohol.

I know what you mean when you are saying its his money and I appreciate that if you get on his case it will be seen as nagging.

Getting on his case about this could be the best thing you ever do for him.

Theres a very fine line between someone getting an alcohol problem and already having one for a lot of people.

Poor OP, she posted for opinions on budgeting and instead got lectured by the sanctimonious. As a non drinker you could drive me to drink!

CH27

I wouldn't be happy with my children growing up seeing their Dad drinking every night.
He needs to cut down for his health or he might not see his children grow up.

My FIL is a drinker & it's caused numerous problems within the family & he has early onset dementia caused by the alcohol.

re the money I would be delighted to have £200 a month to spend on just me as I have around £20 per month for me.

paulineb_2

jacques_chirac wrote: »

Poor OP, she posted for opinions on budgeting and instead got lectured by the sanctimonious. As a non drinker you could drive me to drink!

Im actually not sanctimonious. Im also a qualified addiction worker and Ive seen peoples lives destroyed by booze, totally destroyed, marriages wrecked, redundancies spent on alcohol, people who dont see their kids from one year to the next, people who dont see their kids at all due to their alcohol usage.

That doesnt happen overnight, but I'll tell you something if I was drinking 80 units of booze a week and someone cared enough to try and get me to cut down, I might not like them for it at that point in time, but I bet Id sure as hell thank them at a later date. And other people have said on this thread much the same as me and you've highlighted what I said, but thats entirely up to you.

I dont actually care if what Ive said could drive you to drink, which I very much doubt, you're just having a pop for the sake of it.

Maybe the OPs partner might pop over to the boards on here where people are trying to cut down on alcohol and ask a question such as is drinking 80 units of alcohol a week bad for me and see what responses he gets?

Yes, she posted a question about budgeting, she also commented that her partner was spending up to £150 a month on alcohol.

I'll tell you something, if anything thats been said on here by me or anyone else, sanctimonious or not has a positive effect on his drinking then good.

Its easy to be in denial and its easy to be in denial about someone you love and their drinking habits because its just what they do.

Domayne

My dad has always been a heavy drinker - my mum too til she got chronic pancreitis, my dad has quite a lot of health problems but refuses to give up the drink and has at least 5-6 cans a night, its a hobby for him as well. I really don't see a problem with it though if it makes him happy, he's not nasty, argumentative or violent - gotta die somehow and you might as well die happy!
My best friend spends £50 A DAY on weed - 18k a year!
As for your first question, I give myself £70 a week 'pocket money' some weeks it lasts and I have change, some weeks it feels like nothing :rotfl:
Not sure how some people survive on £50 a month :O