Up to my eyes in debt & see no way out

JustAboutThere

diamondfan25 wrote: »

But yeh we have slowly got away from the family time bit , girls are 11 & 9 . I do my family time with them like bake, make things etc & hubby takes them to footie but we haven't done much as a family unit for a good few months which thinking about it is very sad!!

Could this be contributing to your low spirits and gambling - feeling a little disconnected to the family as a whole?

Even if its a walk in the park as a family group - that's a start. There must be some ducks that need feeding somewhere. Heck, I'm an adult and I still like feeding the duckies (not the swans, they scare me)!

runforlife

And also as well as family time and days start to pencil in 'date' days and nights. These don't have to cost the earth - could just be a trip to an art gallery or swimming or a picnic in the park. Dare I say that you both may have neglected each other whilst debt begins to consume your lives? If so then ensure you have wonderful days together. Good luck

diamondfan25

JustAboutThere & runforlife
I think you may be right, we used to spend so much time together as a family unit & me & hubby used to go on date nights every Friday but the date nights just stopped. Because I was so consumed up in myself/gambling & that was more important I stopped being bothered about other stuff !!

Geese are my fear JustAboutThere dropped my ice cream once when it chased me!! Girls were in fits of laughter!! GOOD TIMES!!

Thanx guys x

loxxee

Hey Diamondfan25, just thought I'd drop by and pass on any advice I can, I'm the other poster Muhren mentioned earlier. I won't bore you with all my gory details, but I assure you I felt every emotion that your going through now! The lowest was when my husband asked for a divorce, thank god he didn't go through with it though and although it's only been just under 3 months since I dropped my £45k gambling and shopping bombshell on him we are now stronger than ever!

Although I was the one spending the money we are a team and he did admit to knowing something was up but didn't want to confront it, now I'm not trying to shift the blame but a marriage is teamwork.


My LBM came after spending £11.5k in one night on online slot machines, the thought of where my head was at that night still makes me feel physically ill. I totally understand the need for the high from shopping/gambling and I wasn't sure how I'd cope without either if them, gambling hasn't been an issue but I won't lie, the impulse shopping tests me everyday! But I found a new high, putting my life back on track, restoring the trust in my marriage and working on myself and the reasons why I did the things I did.


Your husband will be so angry right now but give him time to calm down, show him your doing everything you can to make things right and please put any suicidal thoughts out of your head!!!


If there's anything you want to talk about or moan about, feel free to PM me, and if you can, check out my thread, your not alone and we are all here for you.x

diamondfan25

Hi loxxee

Thank you so much for getting in touch!!!
I still can't put my finger on why I physically did it but Christ like you I feel sick at the thought!!

I spent £2500 in 1 day on slots/bingo & the shopping was all online when I get bored, I knew it was wrong but couldn't stop myself...

After being on here all suicidal thoughts have disappeared & I feel much better about my situation & that it's slowly going to get sorted!!!

Hubby has managed 10 mins in same room as me but is still very off (which I do expect) but we are civil in front of the girls.

Trust is 1 of the major things I also need to work on with him & for our marriage, Christ i nearly threw 17 years away & all for what?!?

Well done to u aswell !!!

I made my first payment of £300 today!! Wohoooooooo!!

I know it's small but it's a start

I will have a look at your thread now

Thank you for your kind words xx

lawdel18

hi diamondfan
I separated from my oh 2 years ago got a mortgage really nice flat the world was my oyster as they say...well until i nearly destroyed it on gambling. I think my total is £23000 I my self am on a dmp now thankfully and to be honest i think it saved my life. I wasn't worried at one point at how much i was spending i just thought it would be easy and i would be dead by the time it got too bad. it was just the way i saw things suppose it was the addiction taking over, i wasn't important the spinning of the reels was, and i hated the reels. I guess you having a partner is different but i wish i had, had someone to support me. I think being on my own was worse because i justified it, i had no support other than my mum, who was ready to kill me but i really was passed the point of caring. I was trying to pen my thoughts but there are so many people these days who have the same problems i hope you and thr oh sort things out, gambling is an evil addiction and can get at us at any time. i really hope things work out for you, and as a family you get stronger because they need you at the end of the day!!!

diamondfan25

Good morning guys!!

So it's Monday & this is my first full week on my journey to being debt free!!!

Spoke with hubby last night & i said I just want his support & asked if he'd looked at the payment plan I'd put in place, he had & said it was a good idea if it works!! I asked why he was so negative towards my plan & he said every time he speaks or thinks about what I've done it gets him sooooo cross!! I understand that really I do but I can't have someone being so negative when I'm trying to make everything right! I've told him that I will do this with or without his support. Hopefully once the debt starts going down he will come round!!

Right guys enjoy the rest of your day as I'm off to work

Xx

diamondfan25

Ohhhh and before I forget made a small profit on ebay yesterday so that's going in the debt pot!!

Day off tomorrow so going to list unwanted clothes & shoes that I no longer wear!!!
xx

JustAboutThere

diamondfan25 wrote: »

Spoke with hubby last night & i said I just want his support & asked if he'd looked at the payment plan I'd put in place, he had & said it was a good idea if it works!! I asked why he was so negative towards my plan & he said every time he speaks or thinks about what I've done it gets him sooooo cross!! I understand that really I do but I can't have someone being so negative when I'm trying to make everything right! I've told him that I will do this with or without his support. Hopefully once the debt starts going down he will come round!!
Xx

Good morning.

I don't know - maybe he's trying to protect himself, rather than negative. He's looked at the figures, he's agreed its a good idea "if it works" - that last bit is down to you. If you continue with how you're going, then that's great. However, if there's a blip or a fall off the wagon (and I truly hope there isn't), that's the bit I think hubby is concerned about. So, its in your hands. Prove to yourself and your husband that you can beat this.

I know you can do it.

diamondfan25

Morning JustAboutThere

I've had relapses in the past, so it probably does make sense that he's just protecting himself & the girls.
Something is different this time & I feel so confident & positive, especially since having you guys to talk with...

I still can't believe that I have been stupid enough to nearly throw everything away & lose my lovely little family!!!

There will be no falling of the wagon & yes just proving it to my hubby that I can beat this is worth more than sitting on my own playing on any slot machine or shopping online for clothes that I don't actually need!!!


Thank you for having faith in me it does mean a lot