Toddler sleep training

Adrenalina

This has nothing to do with saving money, just with saving my sanity!

My two year old won't sleep in her own bed.

When she goes to bed at 7-7.30 I have to sit with her until she's asleep and then I can creep out. At some point during the night (earliest 9.30, latest 4am) she comes into our bed. The only way any of us can getany sleep then is for OH to sleep on the sofa

I've bought a day/night clock and explained it to her. She seems to understand, but just brings the clock to our bed when she comes through.

We've tried a couple of times to do supernanny's return to bed routine, but the first time OH was not on board and we argued, the second time she started screaming "mama sit" over and over and we are already unpopular with our relatively new neighbours so we caved in.
I've tried sitting with her and creeping out, but the floorboards are so noisy they wake her up.
I am really at my wits end here trying to figure out a way I can spend a whole night in bed with OH

Has anyone any other tips I could try? (I've trawled the net and am pulling blanks). Someone told me triple P recommend a mattress next to the toddlers bed, is that right?

ahomemadetouch

I think you need to pick a method and stick with it
maybe get your OH to take a few days off work and do it together.
If your worried about your neighbours, see them or pop a note through the door explaining your sleep training and your sorry about the noise but it cant be helped.

Have you thought about getting a stair gate so you LO cant come out of their room
Do you have any idea why they come in with you, does their room get cold - maybe because they kick off the covers

daisiegg

ahomemadetouch wrote: »

Have you thought about getting a stair gate so you LO cant come out of their room
Do you have any idea why they come in with you, does their room get cold - maybe because they kick off the covers

Why are you saying 'they'? She said her toddler is a 'she'.

Kayalana99

daisiegg wrote: »

Why are you saying 'they'? She said her toddler is a 'she'.

Why do you care? What a pointless post. All 'they' (yes I didn't look if 2nd poster was male or female and at this point I can't remember either!) did was try and help the OP.

Don't have any advice OP other then the keep sending her back to bed advice. Having trouble with my LO keeping him in his cot atm.

mrcow

Adrenalina wrote: »

When she goes to bed at 7-7.30 I have to sit with her until she's asleep and then I can creep out. At some point during the night (earliest 9.30, latest 4am) she comes into our bed.

She's controlling you and you are letting her.

It's no good with your OH "not being on board". Suggest to him that he 100% takes charge of the sleep situation for 2 weeks. Don't you do any of the bedtime routine at all. He'll be on board by the end of it!

As with everything with parenting, you need to be firm, fair and consistent. This is not easy, but it never is. There are no quick fixes.If you want to make postive changes, you need to work together as a team and stick to it.

determined_new_ms

mrcow wrote: »

She's controlling you and you are letting her.

It's no good with your OH "not being on board". Suggest to him that he 100% takes charge of the sleep situation for 2 weeks. Don't you do any of the bedtime routine at all. He'll be on board by the end of it!

As with everything with parenting, you need to be firm, fair and consistent. This is not easy, but it never is. There are no quick fixes.If you want to make postive changes, you need to work together as a team and stick to it.

this ^^^^

You do need to be prepared to go through the tantrum and teach her she needs to go to bed and stay in bed. No matter how trying it is. She will get the message and start sleeping in her bed as long as you are prepared to be consistent. No matter how tired you are, get up and put her back to bed. Agree with speaking to the neighbours and let them know this is what is happening. It's a relatively short period for a lifetime of sleepful nights. Good luck!

Own_My_Own

Make sure you don't speak to her. She wants your attention and by talking you are giving it to her. My ds was the same. But I manage to change it around in one week.
It was one hard week but I'm glad I did it.

I sat on dining chair outside his room. Every time he got up and opened the door I picked him up and put him back in bed. I did not speak to him. The gaps between him getting up grew over a couple of nights until he realised he was getting nowhere and stayed in bed.

It is hard but it is worth it.

OMO x

couponqueen123

a baby gate will be your best friend also an empty bedroom just bed and a cuddly teddy if she has one?

put her to bed and them shut the gate and just ignore her (checking shes ok if u think shes not) she will go to sleep in the end might take few nites but it works , she just know what to say and do to make you let her in yr bed

Adrenalina

Thanks everyone, I know logically that I need to be consistent. It's very hard at 2am! We both work full time, and quite often OH doesn't get back from work until after bedtime. He wasn't on board because I hadn't told him what I was going to do. Plus he is the biggest softie.
We'll have another go and I'll take some time off work.

nikki11

Our dd2 was the exact same, she was a nightmare and we had tried everything- staying with her until she fell asleep, having her in our bed then moving her when she fell asleep, nothing worked! I got so fed up one day that when I knew me and dh had a few days free (no work) I bathed her that night which always made her more tired, had a hot water bottle in her bed and sort of talked it up that she wasn't a baby anymore and that big girls slept in there own beds! The first 3/4 nights was hard but after that it clicked and she slept in her own bed no problem! It is hard but once it works you'll not know yourself! We also had a stairgate on her door and left her door open! Good luck x

skylight

Oh, the toddler back to bed routine.

I allowed my middle one to dictate to me what was what over bedtime. I would allow her to fall asleep with me and then I would take her to her own bed, but it had to end.

Supernanny would have been proud. I smashed her return to bed record (which at the time was 97 times, I did this after watching her show in the previous week) - I had 157 returns on the first night. (Which was approx, as I only started counting after the first 10 or so).

Oh, the tantrums that week! I never knew how strong a 3yo could be - she tipped over her bed (junior cot bed), trashed the toy box and slammed her head so hard against the floor her forehead had a massive blood bruise on it (took her to the docs to make sure she was OK), just because she had to sleep in her own bed.

It was hell. And at the end of my tether. And I hated Supernanny. So for some weird reason, I watched another episode in which she said that you have to be consistent and not to give in. If you keep going for 20 returns and on the 21st you give up, all you have taught your child is that on turn 21 they will get their own way.

2 weeks later, (it did take that long, she is a very very strong willed little girl) she was happily going to her own bed to sleep. 9yo now and still sleeping well!

My youngest would go to bed well and happily from day one. However he would get up at around 3am to get into my bed. If I woke (which was most nights) I would put him back into his bed (Obviously, not if the kids are ever unwell!). He is AOK too with sleeping now.

Anyway, the point is, you have to continue once you have started, if you give up at all then your DD has "beaten" you. Persistent and consistent is the key.

Although I think from your OP, your problem is going to be getting your OH involved too, so I cannot help you there. Why is your OH arguing with you over it? Does he have a different opinion about bedtimes than you, or was it just because things were getting fraught?