How Life Pans Out

thorsoak

At 70, I wouldn't necessarily say that "life pans out" - we changed tack many times, but as I reflect back, we always had a "plan B". However luck does come into it, one way or another - or we would still be enjoying our retirement together - but luck - or life - intervened - and my OH was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died just 9 weeks later. No warning, just niggling little health problems which he put down to age, etc.

The problems - perceived or actual - encountered by each generation - are as real to each generation - my parents grew up during the depression, married during WWII, and we grew up under the threat of the atomic bomb - and now the uncertainties of this age - just as hard for this generation.

But do I regret anything in my life? No point - I can change nothing - so don't want to waste what might be left in regrets!

Goldiegirl

Alikay wrote: »

Nope, I'm 53 so could be classed as older generation and I have always worried for England! Luckily, in my life everything pretty well has turned out OK, and most of my biggest worries haven't come to fruition.

I think we may be twins, as that was exactly what I was going to write!

I have always been a worrier, but experience has shown that most of the things I worried about never happened, and when something bad did happen, I came through it alright in the end.

Probably one of my biggest regrets is the amount of time I spent worrying over nothing!

At this point in my life, I worry less than I did - I think it's because I've learnt that worrying doesn't do any good.

That doesn't mean I don't have concerns about the future, things like approaching old age, the possibility of becoming ill. But I don't actively worry about it - I'll deal with it when it happens.

For me things have panned out well, as I'm very content at the moment. But I'm fully aware it's a combination of luck and judgement. If I'd made different decisions, things would have still panned out, but maybe not as well as they have.

jemb

Tancred wrote: »

I agree. And how do you define 'silver spoon'? I come from a really poor background and had some terrible career problems early in my working life, but somehow managed to crawl out and drag myself up. At 47 I have a new £20k car, bought for cash, and a mortgaged 3 bedroom detached house worth over £300k - I don't need anything bigger as I have no kids. It took me a long time but I feel settled now. However, I'm sure that if I had gone to a private school and had been gifted some £££ upon graduation my path would have been a lot smoother. Even in modern Britain your background does matter.

That's my point though? Everyone starts on the same playing field unless as I said, you have the said silver spoon with alot of help from Mummy and Daddy, in which case not a level field.
We all have to work hard to get where we want to, and if we dont work hard, then we cant have this attitude of poor little me. Life is what you put in, it's not handed on a plate, unless, and I reitterate, you're born with the silver spoon and given everything on said plate.

Buzzybee90

I thought £20k was pretty cheap for a new car :rotfl:

cootuk

As Samuel Goldwyn alledgedly said "The harder I work, the luckier I get".


tbh most of my life hinged around a few critical points where I chose a significant life path. Not everything worked out, but you expect success yet plan for failure. You make a choice then deal with it.
Looking back, change one thing and I could be in a much better situation..or change another and I could be worse.

mgdavid

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I thought £20k was pretty cheap for a new car :rotfl:

agreed - but not very MSE is it? IMO it's madness to buy a new car, a 2 to 3 year old one and money off the mortgage or into the pension might have made more financial sense.

<apologies for thread drift>

Buzzybee90

mgdavid wrote: »

agreed - but not very MSE is it? IMO it's madness to buy a new car, a 2 to 3 year old one and money off the mortgage or into the pension might have made more financial sense.

<apologies for thread drift>

You're right there! My parents always get a new one but no mortgage so can afford to do so I guess!

marisco_2

Cotta wrote: »

everything pans out the way it should in the end.

I think to have that outlook on life is to have an almost horizontal and lethargic approach to it. You get out of life what you put into it, it wont just pan out as it should in the end. The most successful people are willing to work hard, don't fear having to jump numerous obstacles to achieve their goals and aren't reliant on those around them to support or encourage them. They have self belief, drive, ambition and resilience. That isn't something that money can buy or position in society can provide. They are also qualities that cannot be taught.

kitrat

Pollycat wrote: »

Do the older generation really say that?

I'm not sure that I believe it.

I'm another one who thinks the younger generation seems to want everything (the latest mobile phone, ipad, cat, designer handbag etc) now - right this minute and sod the final cost.



Obviously not from my reply above.

But I've been/am that "younger generation" and I don't feel those needs at all! Too much generalising all round I think.

meritaten

I hate to say this but I guess I qualify as a 'senior' member - I certainly have my share of 'senior moments', as I am 60 this year.

Over time I have come to realise that some events can be huge dramas at the time - yet in years to come they fade into insignificance. and not just through failing memory (mine is fine thanks). Some life events remain of huge importance of course - and frankly they tend to be the happy ones, Birth of babies, first home, marriage etc. its the ones that infuriate you at the time you gradually 'let go of'.
for eg - My Son and DIL are deeply disappointed with the wedding album of photographs they got on Friday. I can understand their shock and disappointment - they paid over a thousand and received an album which actually cost about £38 from Photobox (the photographer didn't even pay the fiver to have the photobox logo removed from the back of the book). BUT - we have the disc of pics, a lovely album can be purchased for about £50 and my bro is a wizard with photoshop. in a year or two they wont even remember that photographers name. but right now, its a big deal to them.

Life is often a series of unfortunate events (to steal Lemony Snickets phrase), but its balanced by 'good' events.