Relative jangling 'wedding tackle' in public.

paddy's_mum

Has anybody got any ideas on how best to address this issue, whether politely or not!

I have a male relative, now in early 40's, never been married and never been overly careful about courtesy or personal hygiene.

Lately, he has taken to standing in the room, spreading his legs and with a hand in his pocket, shall we say 're-adjusting' the contents of his underpants.

I find such behaviour contemptuous of onlookers especially as he works for a large supermarket chain and (presumably) would never get away with such behaviour in front of customers.

I don't especially want to cause a scene nor kick off a huge intra-family row and would welcome any advice, put-downs or to-the-point jokes which might focus his mind on something other than his genitalia!

Georgiegirl256

Don't all men do that? A lot of the men I used to work with were always readjusting themselves, after a while I never used to bat an eyelid!

meritaten

ask him if his mobile is 'vibrating'? with a pointed look downwards?

Primrose

Next time he does it, be very assertive and say "I do wish you wouldn't do that. It's really embarrassing and I worry that if you do it in public somebody might misunderstand what you're doing and complain to the police about indecent behaviour. You have to be very careful these days,"

poet123

Or ask him has he found anything, again, pointedly!

thorsoak

Go up to him, ask to speak to him privately, and then tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he is behaving inappropriately and tell him to stop.

paulineb_2

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Don't all men do that? A lot of the men I used to work with were always readjusting themselves, after a while I never used to bat an eyelid!

Ive worked with some men who've done that in the workplace. I think for some people its just a habit, cant say it bothered me one way or another.

MrsE_2

Primrose wrote: »

Next time he does it, be very assertive and say "I do wish you wouldn't do that. It's really embarrassing and I worry that if you do it in public somebody might misunderstand what you're doing and complain to the police about indecent behaviour. You have to be very careful these days,"

I think thats pretty good, its assertive & lets him know you find it distasteful, while sounding like you are concerned about his liberty & lawfulness too.

paulineb_2

Im not sure what the relevance of him being in his 40s and never been married has to this to be honest. Im in my 40s and Ive never been married, its got no bearing on how I conduct myself in public.

meritaten

paulineb wrote: »

Im not sure what the relevance of him being in his 40s and never been married has to this to be honest. Im in my 40s and Ive never been married, its got no bearing on how I conduct myself in public.

I think it means a 'wife' would have trained it out of him by now!

RuthnJasper

Ewww; that's grim. I know that most (all, probably, but won't generalise...:o ) play 'pocket billiards' at times - some being more open about grasping the Pirate of Menzpants in company than others - but I really think that adopting a "special stance" for the purpose is beyond what's acceptable. Most especially if he's having a grasp where others (including ladies and children) are faced with the sight...

Has it been going on for some time (i.e. could he have some infection that's making him itchy or sore down there)?

However, when presented with such a thing, I'd prefer to treat it informally, saying things along the lines of:-

"Careful! You'll have someone's eye out with that!";

"Please could you and your little friend there go and play somewhere more private...?";

"I'm sure that Mrs. Palm and her five lovely daughters are enjoying themselves down there, but please could they go and do it somewhere else?"

I have more - but will leave it there for now, as the dog wants to go out...!

I'm not suggesting that you should raise (no pun intended) this aspect of the issue at the moment - but your relative really ought to be mindful of the fact that if he works in a supermarket and is engaging in a bit of todger-tussling on a sufficiently regular basis for you to have noticed the difference, then someone among the customers or his colleagues is going to notice. Apart from the hygiene aspect, not everyone is likely to appreciate that an innocent little re-arranging of his "trouser furniture" is just that - innocent - if he inadvertently gets spotted doing it in the vicinity of young children by their parents...

It's a tough issue; hope you find the best way of dealing with it. x