OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

mum2one

Good with the cooker we had that prob last gd and ended up nearly 8weeks without a cooker, a lot got done in the microwave, chips seemed a semi staple diet, we really did struggle were a family of 4.

Not the best of times here we were away for the weekend as it was dds birthday came home yesterday as we had the McMillan nurse visiting - it was an eyeopener it seems to be that due to the hospital not sending the paperwork dads treatment has been delayed and they don't know if chemo will work so it seems we've been kept in the dark, then my darling ex decided to kick off again and threatened dds safety so phone the police got to give a statement again and there go and tell him to pack it up but for safety we have had to disappear again - come back for weekend to see police then back to school which means I have to drop her off at office and pick her up again so now she loses all her freedom. This is a man who has never seen his daughter despite the fact she is 12 he has another child of 3 yet he is allowed to keep making threats. So next step will be solicitors and hopefully we can get a court injunction thou to be honest with dealing with my dad and his cancer we still have no idea what we're dealing with whether we're palliative or get back to full health, although from yesterday's meeting there going to arrange for him to go to the hospice day centre.

Sorry to burden everyone xx

Horace

Mum2One You are not being a burden - feel free to use us as a sounding board if you want to scream, cry or chuck something. Sounds like you need a virtual patio and a virtual shovel where your ex is concerned - what a horrid little man threatening his child and her safety. Your DD has my sympathies - a long time ago after my dad had his car accident (I would have been about 10), some nasty people made threats (at the time of the accident my parents managed a fairly well known rock band)and I had to have bodyguards who would take me to school and pick me up again - I kicked up a fuss and said that I was being picked on so the agreement was that I could get on the school bus and that the bodyguards would follow the bus. These guys sat in their car outside the school gates all day waiting for me and ensuring my safety. As a kid I didn't ask any questions just did as I was told - to this day I do not know who made the threats but remember mum being told that I was now safe and the bodyguards left.

Sorry to hear that the hospital did not do as they were supposed to with regard to your dad. Hopefully that will be sorted soon. Hospice day care might be something good as it will get your dad out of the house and he might become interested in doing something like painting or whatever.

Sending you and your DD some huge hugs.

walkers60

Re Romeska

I have a couple of Romeskas. I originally bought the very small one which I still use daily. It is perfect for one or two people but they have discontinued that model which is such a shame. The standard version is invaluable too.

If you go on Lakeland's website you can see a demonstration and reviews and recipes too. It cooks most things that you could cook in an oven but is much cheaper run.

(I have no connection to Lakeland except as a customer but I can also highly recommend the heated airer - brilliant!).

I also use a slow cooker regularly - especially during the autumn winter months.

Walkers

moneyistooshorttomention

mum2one wrote: »

Not the best of times here we were away for the weekend as it was dds birthday came home yesterday as we had the McMillan nurse visiting - it was an eyeopener it seems to be that due to the hospital not sending the paperwork dads treatment has been delayed and they don't know if chemo will work so it seems we've been kept in the dark, then my darling ex decided to kick off again and threatened dds safety so phone the police got to give a statement again and there go and tell him to pack it up but for safety we have had to disappear again - come back for weekend to see police then back to school which means I have to drop her off at office and pick her up again so now she loses all her freedom. This is a man who has never seen his daughter despite the fact she is 12 he has another child of 3 yet he is allowed to keep making threats. So next step will be solicitors and hopefully we can get a court injunction thou to be honest with dealing with my dad and his cancer we still have no idea what we're dealing with whether we're palliative or get back to full health, although from yesterday's meeting there going to arrange for him to go to the hospice day centre.

Sorry to burden everyone xx

You don't need to apologise for burdening us. That's a lot of what this thread is about to be the "sounding board" and, hopefully, source of good ideas that otherwise might not be available to us.

That sounds like rather a lot on your plate at the moment. Major Issues could at least come one at a time, but you have two to deal with at once, so understandable if its proving rather "burdensome".

We're all here sympathising..

Winter_Phoenix

Mum2one, so sorry to hear this. It's tough enough being a single parent, without having a seriously ill father to worry about, and an ex who is being a complete PITA. I do hope that the medics get their act firmly together, and that your ex finds something else to occupy his mind.

JustKeepSwimming_2

mum2one wrote: »

......Sorry to burden everyone xx

You are no burden Mum2one - this thread is a huge form of support for me (especially at the moment :rotfl:) & that is why its so fantastic. We can all help keep each other going. Sorry to hear things are so rubbish at the moment.

Your ex sounds like a far worse PITA than mine, & I've often wanted to murder mine, so I can only guess how you feel. What a lowlife. I love Horace's idea of a virtual patio & shovel :rotfl: or maybe something far more lingering & painful. (No wonder bad things keep happening to me - I'm such a horrible person ).

No disasters today (so far) & I'm so glad its the w/e - so tired I'm not sure which way is up today. Osteopath is still treating my back & will be for a few more weeks - not very MSE but it is helping a lot. I'm just too impatient!

I aim to solve the cooker problem this w/e - well, I'll try & do some research & order something.... Then its looking at my fridge which is stuck on 15 degrees (has been for a while & I do have teenagers so very little goes off except the milk :rotfl:) & then its the TV/hard drive doodah which appears to have a will of its own while recording - will do bits of programmes if I ask nicely, but often records random things, or doesn't stop recording. Not sure if I give off some kind of aura that interferes with all things electrical

Hugs to all & have a lovely w/e

Horace

Hi gang

Well keen as mustard man has just left - I have told him that I cannot do the teas for his craft fairs during the winter months because I do not drive in the dark (by the time they finish and clear up it would be 5pm), I haven't ruled it out for the summer though. I thought it only fair to lay my cards on the line.

I went to the sausage factory to sign on and now I am being treated like an eejit - instead of signing on at a particular time, I now have to attend on a Friday at a different time and then I will be given another appointment for a different day and time (apparently this is to stop claimants from working illegally. I asked what would happen if I had an interview and I was told that I had to cancel it to attend to sign on (bonkers). I was reminded that I had to make myself available between 9 and 5 on any day of the week. I think I will start taking my diary and give them a run down of my appointments.

Must remember to label food that goes in the freezer, earlier today I took out a steak it wasn't until I bunged it in the frying pan that I realised that it wasn't a beef steak at all but a pork one - I am afraid that it has been left partly cooked in the pan because I know I won't eat it because I had covered it with steak pepper which really doesn't go with pork - I hate wasting food but I just can't stomach it.

mum2one

Thank you to everyone, it really means the world, and def love the virtual patio and shovel, I could be doing my Brookside moment.......

If it was a recent break up, or he had been a major part of DDs life, i could understand it, but we split up in 2002............. an he has never seen, spoken to DD, the only photos he has off her are what his parents gave him. Hopefully the police will be able to do something for me.

Busy weekend, got DD at opticians, then the delights of the supermarket, then police station sunday..

xx

moneyistooshorttomention

Horace wrote: »

I went to the sausage factory to sign on and now I am being treated like an eejit - instead of signing on at a particular time, I now have to attend on a Friday at a different time and then I will be given another appointment for a different day and time (apparently this is to stop claimants from working illegally. I asked what would happen if I had an interview and I was told that I had to cancel it to attend to sign on (bonkers). I was reminded that I had to make myself available between 9 and 5 on any day of the week. I think I will start taking my diary and give them a run down of my appointments.

Sympathies re that. I've had spells of unemployment and that was bad enough, but "a walk in the park" compared to how things are now for claimants. It was many years ago now, but I seem to recall it was a once a fortnight sign-on and at pretty much the same time each time. My father fell foul of them many many years ago now during a very brief spell of unemployment he had. They took on the wrong person there, as he fought back and won. I learnt from his experience and never did fall foul of them...

I do understand there are many "fake" claimants around (ie the deliberate unemployed) and obviously there have to be some safeguards against that. On the other hand, it is very hard for genuine claimants (such as yourself) to be put through such an arbitrary regime and I would loathe it personally, wondering how on earth I was supposed to either be sure I could go for job interviews on the one hand or generally get on and make the best of life (including doing some voluntary work whilst I was waiting for my next paid job to show up) on the other hand.

I recall it was quite a lifesaver to me during that unemployment to know I had a worthwhile role to play in Society and chance to have a bit of a "free" social life to be able to arrange some voluntary work for myself to do whilst I waited for my next paid job.

I guess the only consolation is that other genuine unemployed people are being put through the same shenanigans and would-be employers wanting us to attend for interview/groups we are doing voluntary work for/etc will likely find that all other genuine unemployed people are also being rather "unreliable" in not knowing whether we can keep to the commitments we have made or no (ie in case they clash with an arbitrary signing-on time chosen that week by the DWP).

I don't think its a good idea personally to show them any personal info. at all you can help (ie your diary). Don't ask me how I know;) - but any and all personal information you give out about yourself is likely to be "taken down and used against you" at some point. Just work on a "need to know basis" with them and keep a record of all jobs applied for/interviews attended - but do NOT tell them unnecessary personal information. If they see that, say, every Wednesday afternoon you are committed to a voluntary bit of work - then that is when, by coincidence, you might get scheduled for signing-on or they might say you aren't "available for work".

Do NOT give them any information that is to do with you personally, because it might be used against you. So record of job applications made and attempts to find jobs to apply for in the first place = yes. Personal diary events = no no no.

Don't ask me how I know all about that sort of mindset;):rotfl:, except suffice it to say that I think it must be darn good training for working as a private detective as a sideline.... darn good training for "covering own backside at all times", whilst studiously exposing other peoples....

moneyistooshorttomention

Postscript for Horace - If you do have a job interview scheduled and are told by the DWP that your next weekly sign-on will clash then I'm not au fait with latest procedures and whether an appeal to logic would work or no - but I think it would be worth trying showing a more senior member of staff at the DWP a copy of the job interview letter and explaining that it was jeopardising your chance of getting that job if you weren't allowed to reschedule signing-on time on that occasion in order to have a chance of attending that interview.

As I say, I honestly don't know if that would work or no, ie an appeal to their commonsense. They might still rigidly follow rules regardless (ie a lower level member of staff protecting their own backside, being seen to follow procedures), but I guess its worth a shot to appeal to someone "higher up the pecking order" with evidence of that job interview and see if commonsense prevailed.