OS Singlies - We Do It Our Way!

moneyistooshorttomention

Byatt

Yep...that's what I meant...as in you were the one that had the Ah Ha Moment and I was wondering whether some other people might have seen that comment and had a "lightbulb" go off in their head...as that was such a clear way to put things.

Byatt

MTSTM, ah right, after I posted I thought maybe you meant me...:o...sometimes I'm so dopey!

MummyBobble

Hugs to all those who need them (or just fancy a hug )

Sadly, coping with aging parents can be so difficult. We lost mum 15 years ago when DD was just 9 weeks old after the consultant asked for permission to turn off mum's life support machine (the ex was just cross that he had to look after a crying baby while I was in the hospital, guess the writing was on the wall then!), and we lost dad 4 years later to Alzheimer's (though I suppose in truth we lost him long before he passed). Now though I worry for the ex's parents who are in their 70's as they have no family living close by.

Anyway, on a brighter note, I was up bright and early to make today a doing day. First load of washing is out of the machine and drying, second is in and I've had three cups of tea I'm going to nip to Sainsbobs as I got some vouchers in the post for £4 off a £20 spend. Don't need much so that should work out nicely :j

Bright and frosty here this morning so I may stay in PJ's a little while longer (and have another cup of tea). Much of today's doing may involve putting the kettle on :rotfl:

Oh, and happy St David's Day to all you Welsh folk, I may treat myself to some daffs

LavenderBees

lostinrates wrote: »

Advice from other MSEers who have been at this stage with a loved one before is to keep a diary. So in a few months I can take it to the o and say YOU might not think its a problem when you see this person, but on a day to day basis this is what its like,


Tbh, I'm going to try but I'm barely holding it together myself ATM. ( The reason this was meant to be mutually beneficial was to take pressure off me not add more! And RP didn't want to be lonely)
Adding something else in to the mix for me is a bit much.

Also, feels very much like........spying,

Tbh, it sounds to me like you already have something to add into the mix. I hate to say this but from what you have described, I am pretty concerned.

My Dad tried very hard (and succeeded to a certain extent) to cover up Mam's problems, but in hindsight, having come out of the other side of caring for a parent with altzheimers, that was completely the wrong thing to do for Mam, herself. Earlier diagnosis could possibly (and I say only possibly) have slowed down her rate of decline.

Someone with diabetes is at increased risk of dementia...

The things you describe are the actions of someone who is possibly in the earlyish stages of dementia.

I say possibly because, clearly I am not a Psychiatric Consultant, and I "only" have experience as a carer of someone with dementia, but believe me, you learn quickly or you are all at risk of going under.

I echo Byatt in that the GP is the place to apply pressure. If you aren't able to do this, then get social services involved. My own experience was that the GP was useless, but once I stamped my foot and refused to leave his office until he took some action for my Mam, social services/the mental health crisis team etc etc were all superb.

There are, of course, many things that this could be, but I suspect the GP is not as clued in as he should be OR your RP is able to hide symptoms as my Mam could.

I'd recommend the altzheimers website "Talking Point" so you can learn more. Lots of lovely, really lovely people who are going through it, or have been through it, and lots of advice on moving forward.

I sincerely hope that this isn't dementia, but I know that if I had acted when I first suspected that my Mam was acting a bit weird, I'd feel a bit better now. I ignored every little sign, and they were just little signs, but in hindsight, they added up to one huge problem.

Dementia is so unbelievably unlike any other serious illness....regardless of whether this turns out to be dementia or not, it still sounds like you need help looking after your RP. I hope you are not offended and take this in the spirit that I intend it, that I think you need to seek that help sooner rather than later.

I'll shurrup now. But I'm available for PMing any time, if you need me.

LB xx

LavenderBees

On a completely different note, I don't seem to be receiving emails prompting that there are any postings....so I thought you'd all abandoned the thread, but no, you're all chatting away, supporting each other, learning all the time...me, on my tod, crying in my beer, no friendly thread :rotfl:

I jest, of course, but where's me emails?

I've had a busy busy week...but feel I've achieved loads - my porch is finished and I'm waiting for a painter's estimate (my new life approach is if I can afford to delegate a job, I will), my house roof is retiled and repointed as are my chimneys, my shower is working again after a fashion (gotta be fair to the electrician here...he's doing his best to help me, bless him), but I've just bought a new one and will arrange for that to be fitted soon. And today, I'm almost off to lottie to discuss chicken run (not that I can afford it, but....maybe make a wee start....:o)

I also have discussed my living will with my GP and had it signed ready for distribution to good friends to help act on my behalf should it be needed.

So, HUGE inroads into the to do list. Very skint, but feeling a huge sense of satisfaction. I can move mountains when I need or want to :T

Well, better get to lottie...hope you're all having a lovely day...it's bloomin gorgeous here, and have been up since the crack of dawn, finished my housework, had furry purries to the vet (both got fab clean bill of health), and will no doubt need a nap later :rotfl:

Have a good'un

LB xx

JustKeepSwimming_2

Byatt wrote: »

JKS, I can see from your post you understand. It's always a relief when someone "gets" it. Yes, my DD too, is great in other people's emergencies, has been praised many times, she loves the being in control aspect.

It is so hard though, isn't it? And dealing with other's opinions on situations when they can't understand why someone doesn't behave as they think they (the aspie) "should".

MummyBobble wrote: »

Bright and frosty here this morning so I may stay in PJ's a little while longer (and have another cup of tea). Much of today's doing may involve putting the kettle on :rotfl:

Oh, and happy St David's Day to all you Welsh folk, I may treat myself to some daffs

You've been busy - puts me to shame as I'm still in PJs slurping tea. Did have a lot planned for this w/e but all that has fallen by the wayside as DS is still poorly. He had a dramatic fainting fit last night in the bathroom - I heard a massive thud, then silence, then "Muuuuum" & I saw his flailing around the bathroom, bouncing off everything & ending up slumped over the bath. He's never fainted before, so was quite scared, but he was fine within minutes of lying down. I'm determined to drag him out for a short walk later while its still sunny, but first I have to waken the teenager :eek:
More tea first, methinks.

Got my daffs in a vas earlier in the week - they are so beautiful & happy (if flowers can look happy & always, always cheer me up. One day I may actually get around to planting some bulbs in my garden :rotfl:

kacie

I'm another pj having a bit of a pj day, haven't had a weekend off in a while so making the most of it, have got washing out on the line though, so making the most of the sun as well!

Another week til payday, my first this job and I can't wait, although it's not a full pay so there wont be much left to save once everything has been paid out.

metherer

Hello folks. Another one in my PJ's here.

I'm spending the day in bed supposedly studying for an exam I have on Thursday. In reality, I'm reading a few pages then going online for a bit, rinse and repeat.

OH has gone to the supermarket, and I'm hoping he remembers to bring home crisps. When I live on my own I'm going to have to make sure I have everything in stock ready for me. Will be a shock to the system.

grousescot

Thanks for everyone's best wishes: GroatieQueen, Mum2one, Justkeepswimming, ha how do you all keep track of who's mentioned you so as not to appear unfriendly?!

Got back to my parents yesterday after being declared fit enough. Whole lot of drops and stuff to take at various times which has given me renewed respect to people who deal with complex long term conditions which require lots of medication for months or years on end. I'm going to find it hard enough to manage a few weeks. Taking things very slowly as you'd be amazed how the slightest exertion can result in pressure being put on one's eyes. The original idea was to spend a few days with my parents and then move back into my flat. Given how I feel now I might have to re-consider that.
Certainly I can't go back to work for the next couple of weeks at least. It is perhaps surprising that an otherwise fit and well 30-something ends up requiring the care of his 60-something parents even in the short term. I am conscious of but try not to think too much about the fact that they will be needing my assistance more in perhaps a decade or so.

I'm not used to being ill or infirm (for which I am very glad) so I don't know how I'd cope with this if I had no one near to call on. That Utopian helpline described upthread sounds ideal for me.
Last thing I want when I have a pipe burst or whatever is to have to frantically work my way down the "plumber" section of the yellow pages and hope whoever turns up doesn't fleece me. (There's an emergency contact the property management company has but the one time I called on them, they were no help at all.)

Someone mentioned donor cards - I think you can register online now or use your mobile phone to text confirmation too. I did the latter some years ago when I noticed a poster at work promoting it so I must check that is still valid.

Reading of all the progress you have been making in your own lives I really must try and some aspects of mine dealt with when I don't feel so delicate but still have time before returning to work.

moneyistooshorttomention

Hey grousescot...it aint all plain sailing when it comes to dealing with our lives and getting them sorted out for most of us.

I've been reminded here by this thread, for instance, that I really must get an up-to-date will in place and have duly sent out emails today asking for quotes for it from several local solicitors. I really don't want a certain grabby member of my family to have any excuse to grab what worldly possessions I have if I were to pop my clogs unexpectedly early on the one hand or the government on the other hand:eek:.

You've just reminded me that I must get my wishes enshrined somewhere re donor cards, as I see that I will be deemed to have "opted in" automatically here in Wales if I don't make it plain that actually I have "opted out". Didn't need to bother before now, as I knew the presumption would have been that I had decided "my bits remained my own", but now there is a different presumption en route, then I must make my wishes clear, so that people know that everything will remain "intact" if and when. Not that I think many people would want "bits" from an older person anyway...but I had better make sure of it...

Reet...time for more distinct leisure time coming up for the day. It never struck me that some attitudes might be different here to Home Area and it's actually other English people that are causing some unnecessary "work" here re getting all officially-required contacts in place here (tradespeople/other "necessary" people/etc). Note to others moving from urban areas being that decisions that you have always known are yours alone might be regarded in a different area of the country as being theirs alone:whistle: and its other English people here that are most likely to regard YOUR decisions as something that is THEIR decisions instead (ie tradesmen etc). Hmmmm....:cool:. Note to self = sort that out next week and don't let those relevant others know what your own automatic assumptions are (as in from your Home Area) until AFTER the event and them safely "on board". Duh! Lives and learns....

Definitely learning experience time again...as it honestly never struck me that there would be different ways of thinking/acting/living in different areas of the country (never mind that my own nationality would be the ones most likely to cause problems in this respect).