The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Dizzy_Imp

Arkers wrote: »

I love the candy pink colour of the trees in the March spring picture Shaggy, I wonder where that is? I'd love to live in a pink world:D.


Arkers x

I thought this too - I was trying to work out if it was real or computer enhanced. Beautiful either way.

After a rubbish night's sleep due to wine, I have decided that I have had enough of booze before bed and am even more determined to quit. I only had two glasses but obviously two too many. :mad:

I'm going for another alcohol-free month, so can I change my target to 31 please Shaggy? I was going to cut out chocolate too, but realised Easter is early this year :rotfl:

shaggydoo

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I'm doing my month off from Feb 15 - Mar 15, so I haven't had a drink since February 14th, so now I'm on 15/30 AF

I have you on both challenges

shaggydoo

Dizzy_Imp wrote: »

I'm going for another alcohol-free month, so can I change my target to 31 please Shaggy?

Done. Good Luck. (not that you need luck but done was too few characters ha ha !)

Honey_Bear

shaggydoo wrote: »

Thanks Shaggy! I've transported them over to the other thread. Much appreciated.

Honey_Bear

Arkers wrote: »

3 More days for the weekend so now at 12 AFD days. I've thought about mentioning for a while. Does anyone else struggle a bit if their partner has carried on drinking at the same rate that you did previously? Now I know it's my journey and not my husbands, but he pays lip service to cutting down but hasn't. Rather selfishly on my part I do find this tricky. So much so that I have sat on my own in another room so I'm not staring at his glass! If I go out I don't seem to have the same issues in that I've offered to drive or I've made the decision not to drink, but when it's day in day out at home I am finding this a problem. I am not on my moral high horse, but I could so easily be.

Thanks for listening - Arkers x

It's a tricky one Arkers. I'm not a huge fan of other people claiming my successes which would be why I would resent my OH saying he's cutting down when he's not and I am, but that's my personal stuff. Your reaction might be because of something else completely, such as finding the constant presence of alcohol trying. Whatever it is that's bothering you, it would help you get past it if you knew exactly why it was building up a head of steam in you, and when things are calm (ie not when the booze is about) telling him that you're finding what he's doing a bit challenging.

The longer I'm AF (about 19 months now) the more I find booze faintly ridiculous. OH has cut back massively since I stopped but he still ties a good one on (strange phrase) very occasionally and while he's generally a happy drunk I now don't really enjoy seeing him like that. I haven't told him because goodness knows my behaviour was
really bad when I was drinking and his isn't anywhere near that level but I'm not quite as laid back about excesses as I'd like to be.

I'd always thought it was me that used to pick arguments when I'd had too much to drink. Turns out - we both did. Fortunately I saw it coming and could just ignore the behaviour rather than take it personally and bite back, so in that way it was a good experience, strangely. He didn't remember that episode the next morning and was horrified when I told him how he'd behaved which may be a helpful salutatory lesson. We'll see.

Good luck with finding a way to navigate through this particular little minefield. It's not a trivial thing when one partner changes behaviour; I believe what you're experiencing is called the Law of Unintended Consequences and needs a little bit of careful management. There are people who think that the solution is to go back to boozing, but I'm obviously not of that mind.

shaggydoo wrote: »

More clothes bought this weekend This time I was egged on by my OH with "you only live once" .....pleased with my purchases however and they come out of my March budget!

I like the sound of your OH!

shaggydoo wrote: »

:D:D I haven't experienced buyers remorse - pleased with my purchases:D

Neither have I! In fact, I'll go further - I'm chuffed to bits with them all. The pleasure I get from opening the drawer that holds all the tops that go with my best black jeans is indescribable - I have choices!

I have a friend who has been jaundiced and on steroids on and off for a bit. She was admitted to Intensive Care last night with severe breathing difficulties and the situation is very touch and go. I've know for some years she has an alcohol problem but I cannot tell you how sad I am that at 61 or 62, if she makes it, it will be a very long road to recovery. I don't know if she will be able to stop having her little lunchtime G&T etc etc. My heart breaks for her husband who absolutely adores her. They took a long time to get together because in addition to her love of a snifter, she's bi-polar and he had to wait for exactly the right time to propose to her. They've been very happy for such a short time it doesn't seem fair on him at all.

Excellent figures, Debjay and Satchmo! Lovely to see you back posting again Maman - you are missed when you go awol, you know!

Dizzy, please don't try to give up chocolate and booze at the same time. I found I needed all the treats I could get into me for the first couple of months at least and then, as it was working, carried on like that for about a year. I didn't put any weight on at all because I wasn't getting the calories I used to from the booze, so that balances itself out. I lost weight a bit at a time by having lean weeks of no sugar or fatty food occasionally, so a couple of pounds off one week at a time, but only really towards the end of the first year and then into the first few months after I'd racked up a complete year. I'm still below my target weight, although I've put a couple of pounds on over Christmas and since. I don't worry about it any more - once you knock the drinking on the head, the gorging on junk food late at night stops, and the recovery breakfasts aren't necessery, either.

1/31 please, Shaggy.

Arkers

Hi Honey Bear,


Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and your words of wisdom, certainly food for thought. Things resonated with me when you mentioned behaviour when drinking the "apache fire water!" I blush when I think of my behaviour after too many drinks. I'm not really sure exactly what my problem is with my OH carrying on regardless, but I think it might be that I still want to have one, but I know if I do it won't stop there. It might be as simple as me not wanting to give into temptation, and it's trickier if it's right there in front of you!


I am so sorry to hear of your friend's health problems I don't really know what to say, certainly a long journey for her and all around her. I hope her patterns of behaviour change and she manages to rehabilitate.


Thanks Arkers x

Dizzy_Imp

Thanks Honey Bear - I get what you're saying and as I love chocolate, I know it would make things doubly difficult. I was thinking to cut down on sugar in general, but have just stuffed two hot cross buns into my fizog, so not sure that's possible either.

I do have to do something though as I've put on nearly three stones in five years and feel really frumpy ATM

maman

I was lucky arkers in that when I started cutting down my DH was going through a phase of drinking beer which I don't like so it probably helped me in the early days. Now he's back on wine but it rarely bothers me any more. I suppose it's all about learning new habits which doesn't happen overnight. I make my own mind up in advance when I'm planning to drink and when I'm not and what DH is doing doesn't come into it. That's his choice.


I'm off to the pub tonight to watch football so I'll need a drink;).I won't be going mad but really hope there's something to celebrate. Back on the wagon tomorrow so start my March journey.:)

Ellsbel

I know it's early but I'm declaring my first 1/31.
The weekend might prove tricky as we're out for dinner a couple of times, but I feel like I need a dry month to reprogram myself a bit! It will be hard watching OH and others indulge but, yes, similar to what maman says: I need to focus on me and ignore their glasses:D

CountingPenniesClaire

Declaring early also. 1/21 please shaggy