The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Effyb4

9/20 for me please. It is the weekend and I am not drinking tonight.

Poppety

I think it's wonderful that people come into this group and are able to say what they need to say. This is serious stuff. We're not talking about whether to watch corrie or eastenders, we're talking about stuff that changes lives. And in some cases potentially saves them. Out of control drinking is not good. That's why we're here and why we it's important that nobody feels they need to say sorry for long rants, or worry that people don't want to listen or understand.

So hearing your stories like visits to AA, like bad relationships, sad illnesses is all essential to our mutual healing. People's fears and worries can be seen more clearly by the author of them and it brings relief both to themselves and to those who tread the same path.

I for one embrace all the different threads of your lives and feel a great respect for anyone trying to help themselves. Inevitably there will be slip ups, trip ups and some tremendous tumbles along the way, but it's the getting up and trying again that makes us stronger.

Thank you everyone for sharing.

Kind regards
Poppety:)

Poppety

6/11 please.

yellowmonkey

Last night shift tonight so 24/31 please Shaggy

satchmo1

Hugs for all who need them. I'm a great believer in the comfort a hug can bring, both to the hugger and the huggee.


23/31 AFDs today.


Felt very sad and guilty today. It would have been my mum and dad's 65th wedding anniversary on 20th, and the family didn't do anything to mark it. I hadn't realised it was 65 years. Mum has been very quiet this week, which is hardly surprising.

AlexLK

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Well done Alex. Hope you start feeling the benefit of that soon.

Thanks.

Another AF day today, so +4 since being at my parents'.

gien wrote: »

hi Alex, sorry that your Mum's been in the wars - I Imay=gine staying at your parents place might be a bit stressful.

I was not alcohol free last night. I had a few girlfriends round for supper and between the 6 of us we had 3 bottles of wine. I had very little since there was just one bottle of white wine and I decided to add fizzy water to mine to make a spritzer. so I woke this morning feeling fine.
That's the nice thing about being AF, you know how you are going to feel the' next day.
Today is busy, I am painting and then taking my little girl swimming this afternoon.

To be honest, Gien, now my son is staying here too and I've found my wife is (once again) taking money from our accounts for herself I'm quite glad to be here. The first few days were difficult but now, I don't think I'm going to want to leave (fortunate enough for my parents to have a large enough house that you don't really have to see each other if you don't want).

CountingPenniesClaire

Bit of a blip on sat night (tho much fun was had!!) but I can declare today AFD. 19/27 please shaggy. Don't think I'll quite make target now but that won't stop me continuing to do my best! And there's always Feb!!

AlexLK

stupotstu wrote: »

Morning Everyone.

Hope you are all feeling clear headed and proud of yourselves for another AF day achieved.

Thank you for all your words of encouragement. I went to my first AA meeting on Thursday. On the way I got lost and almost justified that as a reason not to go; but ploughed on regardless. At the door I had such a surge of fear that it reminded me of my uni finals where 2 seconds before I turned the paper over I could have actually cried physical scared tears (I passed btw!).

Everyone was welcoming and lovely but I felt disassociated from the others in AA which I suspect is my ego kicking in and my own justification that I don't need to go there. I also felt deeply ashamed.
Right at the end I told my story of assaulting my partner which haunts me to my core and sickens me beyond belief. It helped to get it out.
Without that incident happening I would still be drinking, forcing myself to have AF nights 3 or 4 nights a week and making myself believe that I was still in control of drinking as the thought of never being able to drink again is abhorrent to me.
The next day I told my partner about going to AA and went to a friday night meeting. Again, everyone was welcoming and encouraging of my sobriety. I was given some numbers and had a discussion at the end with two of the AA members about different types of alcohol dependency including mine which includes periods of abstinence interspaced with "bingeing", where once started I am unable to stop unless; unconscious, injured or having had a alcohol blackout.

The remainder of the weekend passed with a night out with some friends for dinner. They drank I didn't. I suspect that they know what happened as O.H very close to the female and my drinking soft drinks wasn't questioned whereas normally, myself & the male would sink pints until the cows came home and then move onto wine with dinner. I did tell my O.H in the aftermath of the assault that he probably needed to speak to someone even if they did think badly of me afterwards.

Those of you teetering on the edge of losing control, please don't let it get as far as I did. My life as I know it is hanging together by a thread and I suspect I have to accept that I can't drink ever again.

Have a good weekend everyone! And a dry one if that is what you need to do.

SPS

AF 21/31

Stu,

After reading this I read back through to your post explaining why you are "back". Pleased to see you and well done for going to the AA meetings.

I'm afraid to say your relationship likely never will be the same again. I can understand that what you did was a momentary lapse in control, under the influence of alcohol. However, both you and your partner won't forget it. Forgive, yes maybe. Years ago, on two separate occasions, my wife scolded my hand with boiling water and pushed me down the stairs during arguments. As a consequence, I still cannot trust her when she's behind me around the stairs even now and I'll walk away from the kitchen if we've crossed words. What happens doesn't mean you'll go your separate ways but I'm not sure whether you'll quite share the trust in each other that you had before.

New_Me

18/23 for me tonight please Shaggy

CountingPenniesClaire

Today will be AFD so 20/27 for me please shaggy ��