The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

sukeyboo

6/12 for today please Shaggy

Honey_Bear

Thank you PSL. I didn't really drink until I was in my late 30s, and for the first ten years or so it wasn't a problem although I drank every day and often got pretty pickled, said things that were better left unsaid and had more than my fair share of hangovers. Then family stuff erupted and without realising it, my drinking changed into something else. I do remember saying at the time that I was surviving on caffeine, nicotine and red wine to all of the the health care professionals I was dealing with (elderly parents, cancer, Parkinson's) and that went on for two solid, grinding, very bad years, made much worse by my brothers' appalling behaviour.

I honestly didn't think when the whole mess was over that my drinking was any different from before the catastrophe but now, looking back, I can see it was completely different. I drank when I was on my own, for a start, and took to opening a bottle of red wine and finishing it regularly.

I still didn't think I had a problem although I knew I shouldn't really drink every day and often drank more than I intended to. There's no doubt that taking an anti-depressant, even a herbal one (so much less harmful than Prozac which I was on for about 18 months) at the same time seems to have increased the effect of the alcohol, so I was tiddley after one glass of red wine instead of after two etc. And that was every single day, and I very, very rarely stopped at two glasses. I found it very difficult to have an AF day, although every week I had a stab at it and pretty much always failed.

By the time I knocked it on the head completely the alcohol had taken quite a hold over my life, but fortunately there were things that helped me, such a never having developed the habit of drinking during the day.

I'd tried moderating over and over and over again, tried all of the the things everyone else tries - leaving my first drink until later, not drinking red wine and having G&Ts instead, a glass of water between each glass of wine - everything. Nothing prevented the last night's excess when my behaviour was so far over the top that I knew either the booze had to go or the love of my life would. Maybe not immediately, but it would have been inevitable because I was horrible and my behaviour was dangerous. It was one thing to risk my own safety, another thing entirely to risk the dog's.

What I'm trying to say is that I know exactly what the struggle feels like, and how much effort it takes to get things back under control. No one who likes the taste of alcohol, and I did, makes a light choice to go AF, it's kind of forced on us by circumstances. I'm trying to show people that it's possible to bring a life back from the absolute brink of total disaster without it having to feel like a life-sentence.

I can remember very clearly what the utter horror of never being able to have a drink again felt like in my drinking days when I knew I'd gone too far the night before. It was something close to sheer terror, to be honest, and that feeling stopped me doing anything about my drinking for several years. It turns out, in my case at least, the fear of it was much, much worse than the reality.

I've never thought of myself as having an ounce of self-discipline, or being a strong character so being able to give up drinking has helped me to understand that I may, just may, have under-estimated myself. That feels rather exciting.

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Up to 6/12 today, yay!

Drank yesterday even though I said I wouldn't Sunday to Thursday. There wasn't even any reason for it really. I bought two bottles and when I bought them, I had every intention of just putting them in the fridge and saving them for the weekend, and then I caved.

Only had one and the other one is still in the fridge. A challenge for me appears to be just having alcohol in the house and not drinking it.

But hey ho. The old me would be swigging the other bottle tonight, but just because I drank yesterday, doesn't mean that I have to tonight.

If I'm being really good, I could avoid wine again tomorrow, but we shall see how I am tomorrow. Still better than I was, that's what I gotta keep telling myself.

I'm up to 50 days this year. In 2014, I only managed 49 for the whole year! Obviously a bad time in my life for me.

No matter how carefully I read your post Pollyanna, I can't see which bits to edit out to make my post shorter! Hugely well done on the six days this month so far, and you're absolutely right to be incredibly proud of the 50 days, especially as it means you've already topped last year's hard-earned score. I'm very impressed.

And you've learned a really, really valuable lesson. If it's seductively there in the fridge, the temptation is much, much greater and much, much harder to resist.

fakeplastictwee wrote: »

10/25 please. Feeling more human than I have in a while. Injections must be kicking in!

Such good news, FPT. Long may it continue.

11/31 please, Shaggy.

shaggydoo

Morning :hello:

1 more AFD for yesterday.



Shaggyx

shaggydoo

May 2017

= 7 Days AF

= 14 days AF

= 21 days AF

= 28 days AF

= 31 days AF

= Target Achieved

= Target Beaten


Alcohol Free Days

Arkers 6/15
Barny1979 8/24
CathyBird 8/21

CuppaTea 6/17

Diyer 5/20

Doshwaster 5/20

Eltee /21

ElusiveLucy 1/4
FakePlasticTwee 10/25

GreenKaren 2/7
Honey Bear 11/31

JP1964 /31

LoveASale 3/TF

Macpep1 /14

Maman 6/10

PollyAnna 6/12
Poor Single Lady 10/31
Pricey 7/24

ScatterBrain /TF
Shaggy 7/21

SukeyBoo 6/12
Toni'sFriend 9/31

WBF 4/14

Everyone Welcome! It's never too late to join....

Please highlight your AFDs in Red

Don't hesitate to let me know if I've made a mistake!

Arkers

Good afternoon everyone,
2 more AFD please ShaggyArkers x

CuppaTea

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Up to 6/12 today, yay!

Drank yesterday even though I said I wouldn't Sunday to Thursday. There wasn't even any reason for it really. I bought two bottles and when I bought them, I had every intention of just putting them in the fridge and saving them for the weekend, and then I caved.

Only had one and the other one is still in the fridge. A challenge for me appears to be just having alcohol in the house and not drinking it.

But hey ho. The old me would be swigging the other bottle tonight, but just because I drank yesterday, doesn't mean that I have to tonight.

If I'm being really good, I could avoid wine again tomorrow, but we shall see how I am tomorrow. Still better than I was, that's what I gotta keep telling myself.

I'm up to 50 days this year. In 2014, I only managed 49 for the whole year! Obviously a bad time in my life for me.

I can really relate to this post PollyAnna. I did this on Tuesday, I had full intentions not to have the 3/4 bottle that I had frozen on Monday morning for the weekend. If its out of the fridge I'm tempted by sod it moments. By the time I got back home on Tuesday I was stressed from other stuff and I defrosted it. Bottle gone!

I also wonder if you are single or a single parent you don't have that accountability to another adult in the house, so you get away with more. I am aware of my kids getting older though and becoming more aware, that helps me stay focused on what I want to do.

Like you, I'm not having perfect months, but I am doing a whole load better than I was in 2011.

Poor_Single_lady

11/31

HB I think you are my hero and my inspiration
Thank you for such as honest account of your experience. It sounds like you have dealt with a lot.
We tend to view drink as a help but really it doesn't help at all. I'm my experience it takes away all your strength and all your abilities. It makes me very rude. My whole life I always try to be polite and helpful and nice and remember my manners and then after a few drinks I am a monster.

Your experience is very helpful and if you don't mind me saying seems to have made you very wise.

This month is helping me a lot. Although I did feel like a drink today, asked my friend but she was busy, came home and felt like a glass making dinner with music playing but somehow made it. Although as above it may have been different if said friend had been free so can't congratulate myself too much.

CuppaTea

Well done PSL. Another Victory

I'm finally on 7/17. I was round a friends early eve and she cracked open a bottle and offered me a glass. I had a cuppa in my hand so declined. And even though wavered at one point, I didn't want to start. My rationale was I mucked up Tuesday so if I do it again today then I'll feel I need to make up for it over the weekend. I'm now thinking I should only drink on one day but can't decide which. I also thought if I have one at hers I'll want more when I get home. I had another friend popping by at 7pm and didn't want to be p*ssed.

So pleased to be report a clear head in the morning. I need to check my calendar to ensure the 17 is still possible.

Green_Karen

4/17 AF days please Shaggy.

cathybird

Morning all, 9/21 for me please.