The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

pollyanna24

cathybird wrote: »

Morning all. Last night I was so tense after the week's work and because I have a busy weekend coming up that in the end I had a drink (one glass of cointreau). I was thinking of making tonight a non-AFD so I'll just swap the two nights. So still on 4/21 for today please. I did try all my usual remedies for tension btw (mint tea, chocolate, distraction by watching something on the telly etc).

Sometimes people on the thread say they regret sacrificing an AFD to only one drink but I'm quite pleased I stopped at one. In fact if all my non-AFD nights stopped at one I'd feel I was winning. I still overdo it on some of them.

This is how I feel. And I know it's bad. If I start drinking, because I keep count of the how many days I don't drink, I think I might as well make it worth it and before I know it, the whole bottle of wine has gone.

I know now that if I open a bottle, I will invariably finish it.

My only way of controlling my drink does seem to have designated AF days.

CuppaTea

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I'm finding today quite hard. My kids are away at their dads, my parents are away and I've spent the weekend mainly by myself. And even though I'm doing stuff at home, I think it would be nicer to be doing it all with a glass of wine (or three). But I'm resisting.

I want to get to the stage where the sun doesn't come out or I'm not working and my automatic first thought is, ooh, wouldn't a glass of wine be nice?!

I want to be able to "look forward " to something else besides the treat of alcohol which is why what I have quoted above strikes a chord with me.

Once I have made the decision not to drink, I am usually okay, but looking forward to it after work keeps me going sometimes. Hmm. That didn't sound good.

I'm up to 4/12 (including today, but kids are due back in a hour and I'm not going out to get anything), so still on track.

Well done on this weekend PollyAnna. I find it hard not to have a drink when my kids are away as I don't have to be a responsible parent. Having said that the last two times I haven't had anything.

cathybird

pollyanna24 wrote: »

[/B]

This is how I feel. And I know it's bad. If I start drinking, because I keep count of the how many days I don't drink, I think I might as well make it worth it and before I know it, the whole bottle of wine has gone.

I know now that if I open a bottle, I will invariably finish it.

My only way of controlling my drink does seem to have designated AF days.

Pollyanna24, I used to drink a whole bottle without turning a hair, but I do find these days I just can't, so if you do give it time the tolerance for alcohol does drop and that makes it easier. Having said that I am finding though that keeping it to half a bottle has its own problems since I feel as though it commits me to another non-AFD the next day or the day after since the alternative is chucking the wine away, which feels wasteful. And I don't always want to commit myself to a second day of drinking, so I guess the solution is to open fewer bottles of wine to start with. I have been drinking about four a month (one per weekend) so plan to drop this to two to see if it helps.

I know how you feel with the "making it worth it" thing but perhaps find some way of seeing drinking the whole bottle as the thing that isn't worth it? ... Which it really isn't? Honestly, if you can hang in there, and keep doing as many AFDs as you can manage, you will find you drink less over time - I think everyone on this thread who has been around for a while would probably testify to that.

Poor_Single_lady

7/31

Thank you HB. I really like to do the things I say I will. And apart from studying (which doesn't go well) I never challenge myself to do anything hard so I am trying hard on this. Thank you for being so kind. I will be disappointed if I can't do it but also my brain is worrying that I will come unstuck later in the month.

I had forgotten that I like having a drink at home by myself (forgotten because too much drinking outside home) but there is always June. It's a short term plan for the now but one that I feel is right for me.

Thank you all. xx

fakeplastictwee

Good morning. 7/25 for last night please. Will most likely be back later to report no. 8, feeling truly rotten.

Hang in there PSL, try not to jump too far ahead into the month. Our brains have ways of trying to predict the future and look for answers that we can't find yet. Just take it a day at a time, each day that you add on to your target will give you confidence and motivation to stick with it. And if you do slip up, then start again the next day. You're still racking up AFDs and slowly teaching your brain new tricks.

cathybird

Morning all, 6/21 for me please.

sukeyboo

Morning all,

Declaring early for tonight on 3/12 please Shaggy - must try and get a clear run until Friday this week

Honey_Bear

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

... my brain is worrying that I will come unstuck later in the month.

I had forgotten that I like having a drink at home by myself (forgotten because too much drinking outside home) but there is always June. It's a short term plan for the now but one that I feel is right for me.

I think alcohol is a wierd one, to be honest. Why on earth does looking to the future without booze seem so frightening to all of us? When I stopped drinking I found the only way I could manage it without frightening myself into a thoughtplace where the future looked far too overwhelming to face, I decided that if I could have a good day without a drink today, that would be enough to keep me calm. If, I always said to myself, I really, really need a drink tomorrow to make life worth living, then, okay, I'll have one tomorrow. And then I'd let it go, because that was the decision made today about now.

I had to acknowledge that if I needed one tomorrow I thought that would make me a bit more reliant on it than I ever thought I would be, but, as I said, I'd deal with that the next day when the time came.

And, luckily for me, that day never came.

I think looking to the future and worrying about how we deal with it is understandable, but in this particular instance, talking about booze - it's counter-productive.

Just deal with today, and you'll be absolutely fine.

6/31 please, Shaggy.

Honey_Bear

fakeplastictwee wrote: »

Good morning. 7/25 for last night please. Will most likely be back later to report no. 8, feeling truly rotten.

Hang in there PSL, try not to jump too far ahead into the month. Our brains have ways of trying to predict the future and look for answers that we can't find yet. Just take it a day at a time, each day that you add on to your target will give you confidence and motivation to stick with it. And if you do slip up, then start again the next day. You're still racking up AFDs and slowly teaching your brain new tricks.

Sorry you're feeling rotten FPW, and you're right on the money about later in the month. I hope you're feeling better today.

maman

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I want to be able to "look forward " to something else besides the treat of alcohol which is why what I have quoted above strikes a chord with me.

Once I have made the decision not to drink, I am usually okay, but looking forward to it after work keeps me going sometimes. Hmm. That didn't sound good.

Glad you found my post useful Pollyanna. In time, you'll make that decision not to drink early in the day or the day before or at the beginning of the month and then it'll be easier most of the time. There's also the good feeling you'll get when you have achieved AF days. I think the occasional struggle with myself is well worth it.:)


I had a bit too much over the weekend. No silly behaviour but a bit headachy. I think it's because I've started to enjoy red again.


No drinking today.


5 AFDs please Shaggy.