The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Eltee12

Afternoon All


10/15 for me please


El

shaggydoo

Honey_Bear wrote: »

In reality, it's a lifetime of hoarding clutter 'just in case I need it,' deferred decisions, and inheriting an attic full of gibble from a mother who didn't drink but did collect clutter. I managed to Ebay two boxes of her [STRIKE]stuff[/STRIKE] treasures last week and I can't tell you how pleased I am it all went to people who wanted it, who were willing to pay good money to have it. Once I know everything's going to a good home I can let it go without a minute's hesitation but figuring where it should go is hard. As is physically shifting the stuff about, and I'm tired of doing that..

We sold some of our parents (much loved) Ercol furniture and other stuff on ebay after our Dad died. It was so good to know it was going off to a new life.

I give most of our not needed stuff to Charity shops - if you find some charity shops you love - giving stuff away becomes really easy. We have some brilliant ones in our town - most of them you can't even tell they are CSs - especially our Mary Portas clothes shop (save the children) - also Oxfam books and we are lucky enough to have a separate Oxfam CD, DVD and electricals shop. Lots of councils take unwanted furniture - some charities like too.

It sounds really morbid but doing it while you are alive is so much better than leaving it for family to do after you've gone - I speak from experience!

shaggydoo

December

:rudolf: = 7 Days AF

= 14 days AF

= 21 days AF
= 28 days AF

= 31 days AF

= target achieved


Alcohol Free Days

Arkers 11/15 :rudolf:

Barny1979 12/15:rudolf:

Brizzled /17

CathyBird 13/21:rudolf:

CuppaTea 9/17 :rudolf:

Dansmam 2/20

DebJay 9/15 :rudolf:

DizzyImp 11/22:rudolf:

Eltee 10/15 :rudolf:

ElusiveLucy 2/10

GreenKaren 3/10
Honey Bear 15/31 :rudolf:

Lulabelle 8/18 :rudolf:

MaggieM 6/16

Maman 7/10 :rudolf:

Poor Single Lady 9/28 :rudolf:

Pricey 9/22 :rudolf:

Sandypan 4/10

ScatterBrain 5/20

Shaggy 10/17:rudolf:

Smiley 10/31 :rudolf:

SukeyBoo 7/12 :rudolf:

WBF 4/10


Everyone Welcome! It's never too late to join....

Please highlight your AFDs in Red

Don't hesitate to let me know if I've made a mistake!

Green_Karen

Honey_Bear wrote: »

We're here if you need to blow off steam.

Thanks HB, yes I blew off some steam on my last posting. :mad: And I had forgotten to mention the 5000 word dissertation I have to submit by the 4th Jan (haven't written a quarter of it yet)!!! And the Xmas cards not written, never mind sent and the presents not bought yet.
But everything is a lot better now, using my nights for something constructive rather than wasting them in alcohol sodden oblivion is the only way forward. No point complaining about not having enough time if I am wasting the time I do have.

maggiem

9/16 AFDs please and hoping to have oNe more tonight but might wait before declaring that!

Reading is something I can do any time and any place, get quite anxious if I don't have book, kindle, magazine or paper with me - might have done more if not quite so focused on reading! Knitting is definitely not relaxing - more painful! Need to get more into exercise though paragliding won't be on the list:D

lulabelle

helloooooo, I am now 12/18! (or will be by bedtime tonight) Yay!!!! I was tempted by a glass on a work lunch yesterday but resisted. Tempted tonight but resisting. Tomorrow may not work as am officially first day of hols but going to try!

debjay

10/15 for tonight please.

Barny1979

13/15 AFDs today

Health&wealth

Hello all,
I've been around on the site for over 10 years but felt I had to create a new username for this particular thread.
We're hoping as a family to make 2017 a year of health improvement.
Without boring you all the short story is that as much as I've become much more health aware in the last few years I still really must understand the part alcohol plays in my overall health.
I'm reluctant to even taking paracetamol these days but think nothing of sinking 2, 3 or more bottles of wine a week. We often also have G&T as well as my wine. I'd say I drink on 4-8 occasions a month, (this month is likely to be a good bit more!) which, I appreciate is hardly excessive but according to guidelines I'm technically binge drinking on almost every occasion. It's at a point where I'd like to take some control and reduce it. I have one, possibly 2 family members whom I'd describe as functioning alcoholics. I appreciate how this can be a genetic thing and I don't ever want to be thought of in that way.
I've started reading the thread over the last month and find so many of you hugely inspirational! I love that it's not a teetotal thread but that everyone's goals are respected and encouraged.

I'm hoping to attempt a December challenge of 20 AF days. I've done 10 so far. Going into the new year I'd like to think about targets for how much I'm drinking as well as reducing overall drinking occasions.

Have a happy Friday all xXx

Honey_Bear

maman wrote: »

Thanks HB. You're right and I have achieved the level of AFness (and ALDness) that I set out to and I'm happy with that. It's just that it's been more of a struggle recently. Constant vigilance needed, AFness isn't easy.:)

It's not that I have loads of 'spare' time it's more that I'm always asking myself what have I done that's productive. It's that nasty protestant work ethic.:mad:

Well, that's really interesting! The protestant work ethic is something I think about a lot, the fact that it's dinned into us before we even have words to think with that we need to be doing something useful to be a decent human being.

And it's not just that it has to be useful, it has to be useful to other people. I'm working on that as a mistaken belief because otherwise I just don't enjoy downtime. OH goes into his office at about 9.30 am and works until 8.00 pm six days a week so I'm left to my own devices most of the time and that's fine, as long as I can fill my time with stuff I want to do as well as have to do. (There's no point in waiting for him to retire either, he's self-employed and will be 70 in three weeks time!)

What I discovered is that as long as I think and feel I've achieved something most days, I'm okay with myself, feel good about things and happy. When I slob around doing absolutely nothing, wasting time - misery. I also know that I feel great if I'm learning something, so yesterday I taught myself (you tube is a marvellous thing) to build two new kitchen cabinets from b&q. I did them all by myself, and doing the beginner's carpentry course earlier this year gave me the confidence to have a crack at the cabinets - not that I needed to use a saw or anything else I learned other than how to measure scrupulously accurately as it happens. But I'm really proud of what I achieved, nonetheless and I felt great at the end of the day.

What I'm doing is repositioning my thinking on things that don't make me feel good, and the Protestant work ethic is just misery-making as far as I'm concerned. Other people may be able to get it in perspective and be okay with it, but I'm not one of them.

shaggydoo wrote: »

We sold some of our parents (much loved) Ercol furniture and other stuff on ebay after our Dad died. It was so good to know it was going off to a new life.

I give most of our not needed stuff to Charity shops - if you find some charity shops you love - giving stuff away becomes really easy. We have some brilliant ones in our town - most of them you can't even tell they are CSs - especially our Mary Portas clothes shop (save the children) - also Oxfam books and we are lucky enough to have a separate Oxfam CD, DVD and electricals shop. Lots of councils take unwanted furniture - some charities like too.

It sounds really morbid but doing it while you are alive is so much better than leaving it for family to do after you've gone - I speak from experience!

We're really lucky in that there are two excellent charity shops within about 100 yards, one which takes every day things and one called Shabby Chic where they take posher stuff. I took my old school trunk there a couple of weeks ago and they're using it to display quilts and such, spilling out of it. Looks great, value zilch, because the locks are rusty and the leather straps are all rotten and broken. I also love the annual letter saying how much money they've made from our stuff and the Gift Aid amount they've been able to claim.

And like you I'm speaking from experience about parents' stuff, sadly, too. OH and I don't have kids so if we don't both sort out what we've accumulated the other one will have to, and eventually our beneficiaries. I've rather decided I'd prefer to have the money for the more valuable stuff that I don't want or need, and the space in the attic so that I can find and get to the stuff I do want to keep.

The stuff I ebayed a couple of weeks ago were things of my mother's that are highly sought after on ebay, but it still took me 10 years to let it all go. The feedback's been very gratifying and I've used about one third of the money already on vet supplies for my ancient dog.

Green_Karen wrote: »

Thanks HB, yes I blew off some steam on my last posting. :mad: And I had forgotten to mention the 5000 word dissertation I have to submit by the 4th Jan (haven't written a quarter of it yet)!!! And the Xmas cards not written, never mind sent and the presents not bought yet.
But everything is a lot better now, using my nights for something constructive rather than wasting them in alcohol sodden oblivion is the only way forward. No point complaining about not having enough time if I am wasting the time I do have.

Good luck with the dissertation. You've started writing, so you don't have to deal with a blank page so that's brilliant. Good luck with it, and I hope the rest falls into place once you get more into it. I generally found I wasted more time fretting about writing essays than on the actual writing once I got started.

Well done on the 10 days so far, Health&Wealth. I can well remember trying to be virtuous, cutting out sugar, going on healthy eating jags and reading books on clean living a long time before that was fashionable, meanwhile thinking nothing of drinking at least half a bottle of wine every night, and bingeing at least twice if not three times a week. I have to say I don't miss it a bit! Good luck with the rest of the month.

16/31 please, Shaggy.