The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

debjay

9/15 for tonight please.

CuppaTea

9/17 please.

Green_Karen

maman wrote: »

We all get those s*d it moments GK. At least you have two AF days under your belt just try and add some if you can.

Thanks maman. Am back on track now and have 3 AF days
Amazing the difference a change in attitude makes!

Wanna_Bee_Free

4/10 for tonight. Planning another other one tomorrow.

Hope things look better tomorrow Greenkaren.

Arkers

Good morning everyone,

11 AFD please Shaggy.
Arkers x

cathybird

Good morning all , 13/21 for me please.

Honey_Bear

Sandypan wrote: »

Managed an AF night because I was driving to the works Christmas do, the drinks were mega cheap and everybody was taking full advantage but most of them lost the whole weekend and I was up early and Christmas shopping as planned - I really enjoyed the evening and had a laugh with everybody sober or not so it was a good lesson learnt that you don't need to drink to be sociable and when people know you're driving they don't push it.

Lightbulb moment? It was for me, realising that I'd associated having a good time with drinking for so long I'd completely forgetten it was possible to enjoy myself sober! And I totally agree about being the designated driver or just drinking yourself home tends to stop people pushing you to join them. They're so, so grateful that they don't have to wait for a taxi and get the door to door treatment they wouldn't dream of upsetting you. Makes life much easier.

Dizzy_Imp wrote: »

Well, whadda ya know....mint chocolate and fake red wine actually taste quite good together, so I'm chalking up another AFD please

11/22 for me.

Whatever works, Dizzy. I'd stick with just the chocolate, in fact now that it's December - I am. I've decided that one month a year I'm going to allow myself to eat pretty much whatever I want and cut out sugar in January and if necessary February if I balloon.

maggiem wrote: »

8/16 please tonight[COLOR] It is helping me to be more reflective about what I drink and I have definitely learned I can feel like drinking whenever there are strong emotions involved! I had a very difficult couple of days, family issues Sunday and Monday and had to find other things instead of a drink Monday. Pate on toast with a tonic anyone? Couldn't find chocolate unfortunately. However I can also convince myself a drink is a good idea to celebrate a success too. It is so easy for drinking every night to become a habit and then a bottle isn't enough so it's a bottle and a glass etc etc. I need to work out more strategies to relax with too although I won't be taking up paragliding anytime soon HB :rotfl:reading works for me but I need to more strongly associate a cup of tea with the relax and read rather than a glass of wine.

If I can just separate out habit and drinking mindlessly rather than mindfully I will feel I can cope. Half way through my AFDs for December - hurray. Can't thank everyone on the thread enough for helping the thinking process xx

MaggieM you've hit the nail on the head. Recognising what makes us reach for the first glass is most of the battle in cutting down or giving up. Stress, relaxation and celebrations are my triggers and I don't think I'm alone in that.

My habitual drinking times were sitting down to eat the evening meal, watching TV and socialising. I knew that in order to stop I'd have to know what I wanted to drink instead over the evening meal, stop watching TV in the sitting room for a few weeks in the evenings and not socialise until I could deal with not drinking. That was the hardest thing work out - how to avoid the times I always drank for the first few weeks.

I never took a drink up to bed so I went to bed early and read there which meant I didn't associate what I was doing with missing out on anything. It takes some time to work out what'll work for you but it is possible to find a way of breaking the habit if that's what you want to do. It's just a question to tackling one trigger at a time.

Honey_Bear

maman wrote: »

:eek:

No way! I had something like knitting in mind!!:rotfl:

I like to read too but I find it very hard to read (other than the newspaper) unless I'm on a sun lounger or an aeroplane. It seems so decadent during the day. It's a fight with myself really, just like AFness.

No plans to drink today.

6 AFDs please Shaggy.

Oh go on, fling yourself off a cliff and see where the breeze takes you ...

I'm with you about reading during the day. Even when I was doing my degrees and reading a massive number novels was required I couldn't bring myself to do so during the day - apart from Bleak House but that was because I had to restart it after 200 pages and I was running out of time. It's not a novel one can read in bed anyway because even a paperback printed on thin paper weighs a ton.

It isn't decadent, but we habitually think it is. Can you allow yourself to drink during your alloted lunch time to see if you can break that habit?

To be honest Maman I think your drinking's been under control for a lot longer than mine. Two and a half years on I'm still working my way through the chaos and debris of an entire decade of not really achieving very much so I've got a lot of chaos to sort out.

In reality, it's a lifetime of hoarding clutter 'just in case I need it,' deferred decisions, and inheriting an attic full of gibble from a mother who didn't drink but did collect clutter. I managed to Ebay two boxes of her [STRIKE]stuff[/STRIKE] treasures last week and I can't tell you how pleased I am it all went to people who wanted it, who were willing to pay good money to have it. Once I know everything's going to a good home I can let it go without a minute's hesitation but figuring where it should go is hard. As is physically shifting the stuff about, and I'm tired of doing that.

Once I've got the house under some sort of control and order I can get on with what I really want to do with my time, which is get stuck into a huge collection of sewing projects I've been quietly amassing over the years. I thought I'd be there already, but no ....

Can I have some of your spare time, please?

Green_Karen wrote: »

Been avoiding this post like the plague lately knowing I was having a 'couldn't care less' attitude about having AF nights.

No excuses at all, been works do's of course and meeting friends for last pre Xmas get together. Unfortunately all my fiends have been miserable/depressed/stressed.

Then our whole house project fell through (been working on this for 2 years). Next my boss told me she wants me to be away from home with work even more in 2017 (I forgot what my bed looked like this year)!

I also felt I was single headedly implicated in getting someone sacked as I had spent more time with him than anyone else so my statements etc were asked for. I have wished him all the best by email but not heard back and don't expect to.

So what had been a great year turned to poo, and that's before I spend the next two weekends with my mum!!!!

2/10 AF days

I think, in the stressful circumstances you're in Green Karen, two days AF is an achievment you should be very proud of. It's the time of year when everyone thinks they should be happy and out celebrating, which always seems to involve booze. It's a recipe for unhappiness, really, so don't expect miracles from yourself or you'll just feel worse and the vicious circle continues. Your job sounds unrelenting, so I hope you actually enjoy the work itself.

You didn't get the other person sacked, they did. I'm guessing that all you did was tell the truth when you were asked to, and that has to be done in fairness to your colleagues and the company which you need to stay in business. Lying isn't an option in those circumstances. It's horrible, horrible, horrible to be put in the position. I can understand you wanting to wish the person well but they're going to be feeling very sore and wanting to blame someone.

We're here if you need to blow off steam.

maman wrote: »

I saw this in Waterstone's today and thought of us!:D

Love it!

15/31 please, Shaggy.

maman

Thanks HB. You're right and I have achieved the level of AFness (and ALDness) that I set out to and I'm happy with that. It's just that it's been more of a struggle recently. Constant vigilance needed, AFness isn't easy.:)


It's not that I have loads of 'spare' time it's more that I'm always asking myself what have I done that's productive. It's that nasty protestant work ethic.:mad:


No plans to drink today.


7 AFDs please Shaggy.

shaggydoo

Afternoon :santa2:

3 more AFDs for Monday through to yesterday.



Shaggyx