The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

maman

Lots of your post resonated here HB. We used to travel to France regularly from Portsmouth and all purchases disappeared quickly. Now I have generous stocks of gin and wine but don't feel the need to drink them just because they're there. Same with the lunchtime drinking. I'd gladly fall asleep after a couple of glasses (and have done) but not the same in the evening at all.


Lucy, for me it helps to have a plan because then I feel in control. I've been exactly where you are, pacing around restlessly until bedtime because evenings at home seemed endless. The plus side was I felt really good when I'd achieved an AF night and enjoyed my planned drinking days even more. It did require willpower and (literally sometimes:o) telling myself I wasn't having a drink so get over it. In time it's become a habit and I very, very rarely have a 's*d it' day when I drink when it wasn't planned. I started off setting my target according to my social diary for the coming month so having drinking days when I was going out or socialising at home at weekends. You can leave some 'spare' days too if you want to be able to respond to spontaneous invitations. That worked for me.


Of course, you may live in a madder social whirl than I do or prefer to give up completely. All we can do is throw out a few ideas and hope they help:).


26 AFDs please Shaggy.

debjay

16/20 for tonight please.

ElusiveLucy

Thanks for your words HB and Maman. Well I have reached Wednesday and now can get into double figures with 10/16 so far. Struggling tonight as it is Wicked/Wine Wednesday so I came on here and read your responses. Hopefully that will spur me on and I will be able to report 11/16 tomorrow and hopefully 12/16 by Friday.


I am going for your approach Maman and plan non-AF days for Fri/Sat and possibly Sun if I haven't had a heavy Sat. I used to be able to do that, so I need to try and get back there. Once that is conquered I will then try and reduce my intake on those 2/3 days per week. I don't want to give up, I just want to moderate it.


Part of my problem is that my OH is working away all week - he drinks less than me and if he was here I would think twice about it.


Now feeling more positive for tonight, having come on here, so thank you all! Determined to do AF tonight.

Barny1979

20/24 AFDs today

ElusiveLucy

Nearly bed time and I have stayed AF today, so up to 11/16 :j

maman

ElusiveLucy wrote: »

Nearly bed time and I have stayed AF today, so up to 11/16 :j

:T Well Done! Hope you get a good night's sleep.

stoplurking

9/16 for tonight please Shaggy.

Honey_Bear

ElusiveLucy wrote: »

I used to be able to do that, so I need to try and get back there.

It's insidious stuff, alcohol. I first tackled Belle's 100 day challlenge back in January 2014 and managed 20 days before I decided a couple of glasses with pizza on Saturday night wouldn't hurt and then discovered they'd derailled me completely. I couldn't even manage one AF night for months after that, until I finally stopped in July and for some reason the effect of stopping seemed much more profound the second time. We're in control for a long time and then, suddenly, without any warning at all, the alcohol seemed to be for me. I think now that I'm extremely lucky I made that mistake because it's such a saluatory lesson - if I went back to drinking again it would be real hell to stop a third time and I'm not sure I'm that strong. Good luck with the moderating, I hope you find your happy balance really quickly and it stops being difficult all through the evening. For months I went to bed really early and read books galore so I wouldn't be tempted; it was the only way I could cope with it.

ElusiveLucy wrote: »

Nearly bed time and I have stayed AF today, so up to 11/16 :j

Well done! I'm so glad you made it, and thrilled that anything you found on this thread helped. It was an absolute godsend to me when when I wanted to cave. I read reams and reams and reams of it, going back several threads, to Parts I, II, and III and so on until I stopped needing it.

Ah, Maman, the satisfaction of the wine stash! We've got a cupboard under the stairs in the basement which is about a cubic metre, and OH has a winerack on one of the walls. He, being a bloke, loves calling it his wine cellar! He's very proud of it.

Interesting factoid I noticed when I gave up smoking and the booze. In both cases I'd stocked up on those French trips and had enough to keep me going for quite some time. Before the final day of smoking and drinking every time I'd thought about stopping one of the 'pulls' was the stashes. When I finally stopped and stayed stopped it didn't matter in the slightest. I can't even remember what I did with the fags - I probably gave them to someone but goodness knows who. (And OH has never offered me any money for my share of the wine. Hmmm. :rotfl:)

28/31 please, Shaggy.

cathybird

Morning all, 14/15 for me today please!

ManPants

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Well done on the 13 days you've achieved so far, ManPants. It really is important to recognise that you achieved something massive by not drinking on those 13 days.

I also think that trying to get fit with the extreme gym thing, the dieting and tackling the booze thing all at the same time would be too much for most people. Some years ago B00ts the chemist started a new year resolution support idea called 'Change one thing' and I adopted it as a sort of mantra. I've never tried to do more than one thing at a time since, and it's made a huge difference.

Thank you HoneyBear for your kind words. I was bulimic as a teenager and have pretty much never progressed away from that "type of behaviour i.e binging/starving/drinking to excess/not drinking/double gym class/stay in bed hungover.
When I quit smoking 10 years ago I adopted the "change one thing" mantra and got fat for 6 months to enable me to quit. It almost killed me and I remember lying on a beach in Acapulco feeling hideous I felt so enormous (in my dysmorphic eyes). I lost the weight quickly after 6 months of "blossoming". Since then Ive crossed the big 4-0 mark and my metabolism has slowed down despite spending at least 10 hours per week in the gym. I complained the other day to OH that my 30" waist chinos were feeling snug to which he said "Think about this. You're a grown man. You're not a skinny little London gay boy anymore." I know he is right but I can't just accept it. So, I carry on with my punishing schedule which sets me up to fail. I know Im a Nut Job.

Achieved AF night last night taking me to 14/29 AF. Like Elusive Lucy & Maman also said, I also don't have a "trigger" period to get through. Its there all night.
I got in last night at 23.10 and suggested to OH that he get up and we have a bottle of Prosecco together. Luckily he said no and actually said "You shouldn't either" which did stop me.

Hope you are all well and winning little battles against alcohol.

Thanks for listening as ever.

M.P X