Employer questioning my toilet habits

spiritus

marybelle01 wrote: »

And what if that line isn't where you want or expect it to be? Screwed then, aren't you?


Please listen to Kiki's excellent advice. There is absolutely no reason to believe that your explanation already given wasn't accepted. If you feel that doesn't quite address your concerns, then a quiet and informal word may. Perhaps someone has been complaining to the managers - and having now spoken to you about it the matter is at an end.


Why draw lines in the sand unless the line is important - it may be the only line you get to draw?

Am I not screwed already if my face doesn't fit with the new management team ?


I understand when trying to get advice there will never be a consensus. People approach situations in different ways and many times there is no right or wrong.


I don't think I should be grateful or happy that my "explanation was accepted". There was no just cause to ask it in the first place which was the point I was trying to make.


Example: Member of staff gets asked by manager if they have stolen any money from the till. Staff member says no. Manager accepts the staff member's answer and everything is now hunky dory ?

goonarmy

spiritus wrote: »

Am I not screwed already if my face doesn't fit with the new management team ?


I understand when trying to get advice there will never be a consensus. People approach situations in different ways and many times there is no right or wrong.


I don't think I should be grateful or happy that my "explanation was accepted". There was no just cause to ask it in the first place which was the point I was trying to make.


Example: Member of staff gets asked by manager if they have stolen any money from the till. Staff member says no. Manager accepts the staff member's answer and everything is now hunky dory ?

line in the sand has been drawn and it is important. Might be the beginning of the end-in more ways than one.

RuthnJasper

I think they should have given the OP a reason WHY they were asking him such an intimate question - and the managers certainly shouldn't have been discussing it in front of other staff (and also, potentially(?) customers).

I do think Kiki's advice is the best at this stage. I might also be inclined to add that, if they feel that my loo-breaks are impinging on my work capabilities, would they like me to get a GP's letter to confirm that I don't have any problems in that area?

I'd be mortified if this had happened to me. In my previous job, however, someone did leave after she got a b*ll*cking from her boss for not being prepared to speak to him on a mobile whilst she was actually sitting on the toilet. Sometimes I don't know what goes on in these peoples' heads...

marybelle01

spiritus wrote: »

Example: Member of staff gets asked by manager if they have stolen any money from the till. Staff member says no. Manager accepts the staff member's answer and everything is now hunky dory ?

But the answer to that it yes! It is now all "hunky dory". Why would you think it wasn't?

1DayAAT

OP - this is absolutely NOT okay - the line of questioning nor the way it has been conducted. Please do not put up with this. Speak to ACAS and tell them what has happened and take proper advice from them on how to move forward. I have a lot of experience in employment law/rights and this sounds like your management are a disgrace and treading on very thin ice if they continue to treat you this way - a lot like something you can imagine reading in the newspaper naming and shaming the retail organisation and that is NOT the kind of publicity they would want. Stand up for yourself and your dignity. Their behaviour toward you is NOT acceptable. You also might want to consider joining a union.

spiritus

marybelle01 wrote: »

But the answer to that it yes! It is now all "hunky dory". Why would you think it wasn't?

Because they are the ONLY member of staff to have been questioned.


If you would have read what I had written then you would understand the analogy I was trying to make.


Singling one member of staff out for questioning when that member of staff is doing nothing different to the rest of the team is not ok.


If someone asks you a question that is bordering on accusatory, regardless of whether the person is asking the question is satisfied with your reply, would you not be curious as to why the question was asked of you in the first place and only you ?

marybelle01

spiritus wrote: »

Singling one member of staff out for questioning when that member of staff is doing nothing different to the rest of the team is not ok.

OK then. Which law has been broken? What law says that a manager or managers cannot ask a question of only one member of staff? There isn't one.


I get why this may be embarrassing, but it just seems that it's asked and answered, and over, so what is the point of making a mountain out of a molehill? You've already said that you aren't expecting any outcome from a grievance, and that is what grievances are for - getting an outcome. So if you don't want something to happen, what is the point? All it is doing is winding it all up a notch and ensuring that your toilet habits get discussed a lot more. But if you are determined to go down that route, that is your decision. However you will need to decide what outcome you want, because you will be asked that question by management. That is, as I said, what grievances are for.

moneyistooshorttomention

Still not inclined to go down the grievance route. I'd rather keep that for something "bigger" in your position.

Don't play all your cards at once. Leave the "biggie" in case of a "Big Occasion".

I still advocate the "play them at their own game" tactic and cross-question and give "details" any time they are obviously being awkward about something and it's only you being picked on. That really was a good strategy for many such things in my experience.

When they eventually realise that you get your "evidence" in in advance (ie written up and ready to produce if need be) then things tend to go quieter and they are much less likely to do the "picking on".

I did have quite a bit of experience in using this tactic once the World of Work started getting much "harsher" than it had been in my first years at work and, in my last job, managed to fend off a couple of attempts to set me up for getting sacked and I also had absolutely LOADS of pressure put on me to "resign of my own freewill". I long since lost count of how many times I had to sit down and remind myself of bills to pay/things still to buy to be financially straight/etc to summon up the willpower to resist.

There came a time, I found, when I even started regarding it as an intellectual challenge to "see them coming" and then show them that I was more intelligent than them and beat off the latest attempt...

Getting into the mindset of regarding "Running rings around unfair bosses" as a hobby does have its advantages....

spiritus

marybelle01 wrote: »

OK then. Which law has been broken? What law says that a manager or managers cannot ask a question of only one member of staff? There isn't one.

The law of discrimination.

Dovah_diva

spiritus wrote: »

The law of discrimination.

Explain that further. What law of discrimination have they breached? What evidence do you have that they have broken this law? At the moment it is very much your word against their word. Don't rely on witness statements - you won't get them. Your colleagues will suddenly be deaf and blind.