Employer questioning my toilet habits

spiritus

This thread has taken a rather unexpected turn


Anyway..........I decided to sleep on it and have chosen to wait and see if anything else crops up again.


I heard something else had been said about me by one of the managers a week earlier, unrelated to my toilet visits.


One more thing and I will file a grievance.


I don't know why some people say going down this route will only make things worse.


I have worked for companies before where the grievance procedure was a good way of employees airing any genuine concerns they had about their treatment (or perceived mis-treatment) at work.


I'm not naïve enough to believe that every manager will react in a professional manner but if there's a grievance procedure set out in the company's policy book then the manager would be making problems for themselves if any reprisals come about.

ohreally

spiritus wrote: »

I'm not naïve enough to believe that every manager will react in a professional manner but if there's a grievance procedure set out in the company's policy book then the manager would be making problems for themselves if any reprisals come about.

Job centres are full of folks who have been managed out of a job.

SeaLion_2

spiritus wrote: »

This thread has taken a rather unexpected turn


Anyway..........I decided to sleep on it and have chosen to wait and see if anything else crops up again.


I heard something else had been said about me by one of the managers a week earlier, unrelated to my toilet visits.


One more thing and I will file a grievance.


I don't know why some people say going down this route will only make things worse.


I have worked for companies before where the grievance procedure was a good way of employees airing any genuine concerns they had about their treatment (or perceived mis-treatment) at work.


I'm not naïve enough to believe that every manager will react in a professional manner but if there's a grievance procedure set out in the company's policy book then the manager would be making problems for themselves if any reprisals come about.

Your grievance would consist so far of...

'X said to me that one of my managers said something about me. No, X won't agree to give me a statement about it. And two of my managers, on a busy day, after I had visited the loo during a short shift, asked me how often I usually go to the loo. I didn't see them ask anyone else the same question so I'm not happy.The outcome I would like as a result of this grievance is for them to be told to leave me alone.'

I hope I have filled in your gap in understanding....

cakeadoodle

KiKi wrote: »

Speak to the person in question, and simply say "You asked how long I spend in the toilet the other day. That's not a usual question to ask someone at work, so it seems that there is a reason that you asked me. Please can you tell me what, so we can discuss it?"

Then deal with the outcome.

Bookmarking this as a sensible way to approach a discussion with any future employer - I get quite flustered in these situations and can't really get the words out, this seems like a good approach.

I'm self employed at the moment and the boss makes me hold on for AGES until I'm finished what I'm doing :rotfl:

Humphrey10

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Personally, I'd be keeping my own records in your position as to how often I went and for how long - and make them "detailed";). That way you prove you aren't taking too long and, hopefully, gross them out with those "details";).

That's exactly what I would do in your position. Obviously, as a woman I could do a good bit more "grossing out" with "details" than you are in a position to do as a man. But I still advocate that tactic.

When my manager commented about me going to the loo a lot once, I offered to give him exact details - colour, constancy, amount, smell (I had the runs!). He hurriedly declined and has never commented again.
So that tactic worked for me!

telboyo

Just respond with."Have you seen the size of the newspaper on Sunday!"

spiritus

SeaLion wrote: »

Your grievance would consist so far of...

'X said to me that one of my managers said something about me. No, X won't agree to give me a statement about it. And two of my managers, on a busy day, after I had visited the loo during a short shift, asked me how often I usually go to the loo. I didn't see them ask anyone else the same question so I'm not happy.The outcome I would like as a result of this grievance is for them to be told to leave me alone.'

I hope I have filled in your gap in understanding....

My understanding is fine thank you.



Allow me to provide you with a view alternative to your own....


"One of my sub-managers said something about me in front of X, Y and Z. I would hope that if any member of the management team had any concerns about me then they would speak to the manager about that and not discuss it in front of other staff members"


Wait to see if the sub-manager in question denies this knowing that a remark was made by them in front of three other witnesses......a statement from X, Y and Z may therefore not be necessary.


"Two managers made remarks about me visiting the toilet on one particular shift with the second remark clearly having been made after Manager A told Manager B about me visiting the loo (as Manager B was not on shift at the time I went).


I'm not aware of any other members of staff having been questioned about their visiting the loo and would respectfully request an explanation as to why I alone have been selected to be questioned on this. My toilet visit was not unusual or excessive and I can not think of any reason why I was asked.


I enjoy working for the company and know that the company encourages it's staff members to feel comfortable in their workplace. I also understand that the company encourages it's staff to express any concerns they may have about unfair treatment in the form of a grievance complaint........."


I am not seeking any "outcome" but feel that sometimes in the workplace it is necessary to draw a line in the sand as to what might be tolerated and what might not be.

bernina1

Taking the problem at face value (I see no reason to be sceptical), firstly what an awkward situation - I sympathise. The manager has been very unprofessional in my view.

I can see why you may choose to raise a grievance. However, I would at least have a discussion with the manager about the issue first - along the lines previously posted. If this doesn't result in any improvement you have not lost anything and have taken a reasonable action before escalating through the formal process.

If you do go through the grievance process there is at least a risk that you will become persona non grata - whatever the policy says - so I would be looking for alternative employment if I was you. I would find it intolerable to have my toileting habits scrutinised. But I appreciate it isn't easy getting a job nowadays.

spiritus

bernina1 wrote: »

Taking the problem at face value (I see no reason to be sceptical), firstly what an awkward situation - I sympathise. The manager has been very unprofessional in my view.

I can see why you may choose to raise a grievance. However, I would at least have a discussion with the manager about the issue first - along the lines previously posted. If this doesn't result in any improvement you have not lost anything and have taken a reasonable action before escalating through the formal process.

If you do go through the grievance process there is at least a risk that you will become persona non grata - whatever the policy says - so I would be looking for alternative employment if I was you. I would find it intolerable to have my toileting habits scrutinised. But I appreciate it isn't easy getting a job nowadays.

I agree. I would probably raise it with my manager in the first instance and see how that goes with a grievance as a last resort.


The risk of becoming persona non grata doesn't really faze me as the two incidents that have occurred already have not made me feel particularly comfortable in my job and if it continues I would rather be the first one to fire a warning shot across the bows.

marybelle01

spiritus wrote: »

I am not seeking any "outcome" but feel that sometimes in the workplace it is necessary to draw a line in the sand as to what might be tolerated and what might not be.

And what if that line isn't where you want or expect it to be? Screwed then, aren't you?


Please listen to Kiki's excellent advice. There is absolutely no reason to believe that your explanation already given wasn't accepted. If you feel that doesn't quite address your concerns, then a quiet and informal word may. Perhaps someone has been complaining to the managers - and having now spoken to you about it the matter is at an end.


Why draw lines in the sand unless the line is important - it may be the only line you get to draw?