MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 3

Aunty-Pickle

my little boy will be 3 weeks tomorrow.
When does it start getting better/easier?!
Do you get more sleep or just feel less tired or just adjust to coping with less sleep?
When do you have a day when you didn't cry?!

Saffagal

Oh Aunty Pickle, sending massive virtual hugs xx it does get better. In the first few weeks there is such a period of adjustment nevermind all the hormones swirling about your body!

In the early days, if any one offers you help, say yes please. I don't have family in the UK, so in the early weeks - like the first 2 months, after OH had returned to work, I would basically get myself and baby dressed and manage to feed myself at some point. If you are breastfeeding, it is really important to drink enough.
OH would come home in the evening and cook dinner for both of us and then clean up. At the weekend, he learnt how to do the washing. All I did was look after the baby and slowly, I found I could do more and start taking on the running of the house again.
Shopping - the internet is your friend! Whilst baby fed/ slept on me, I would do grocery shopping online and get it delivered.

I breastfed and that I can assure you, does get easier as time goes on. The first few weeks are really, really hard but if you persist it will improve.
Oh yes, and I used to sleep in the day if baby slept which helped me cope in those early days with the reduced overnight sleep.

One day soon, baby will look up at you... and smile... and it will all be worth it. You will adjust and this new born phase will pass.

Remember, it is ok to put baby down and go to the toilet. If baby cries because you've put him down - he is alive. I'm not talking an extended period but if you need a cup of tea/ the toilet and need to put baby down to get it, do so.

Also, if you're still feeling tearful in a week of so, speak with your health visitor as it may be more than just post-partum hormones and there is help available.

Hope that this helps
Saf xx

gayleygoo

Lots of hugs to you Aunty Pickle, I hope it starts getting easier for you soon. Is he feeding a lot or just not settling between feeds? My little Rory is 4 weeks old and things have been better this week in terms of feeding and sleeping. He hadn't been latching on well for the first couple of weeks, which was painful and meant he wasn't getting proper feeds and therefore not sleeping for long either. My nipples still hurt a bit but not the toe-curling pain it was before. I have a had a few teary days and random moments of crying, but not everyday and I put it down to hormones and tiredness. If you are crying everyday then let your HV/GP know, and cuddle up with your hubby for a good cry when you need to, don't pretend you are feeling alright when you're not.

There have been days when I've barely eaten, I just haven't had time to cook. I've had more cereal, takeaways and ready meals than I'd normally like, but it's better to eat than not! The house is a mess (which OH keeps pointing out), but it' so far down the list of things to do I just don't care.

One lifesaver for us has been "white noise". Rory would be very quiet with the sound of the tumble dryer, and now we have the youtube video of tumbledryer noise on for quite a few hours during the day! I think some babies just take a while to adjust to life outside the womb, and the noise can be really calming!

Saffagal

Aunty-Pickle! I forgot to say CONGRATULATIONS on your little one! and welcome to the thread

Also Congratulations to gayleygoo too! and welcome to the thread

xx

Aunty-Pickle

My health visitor is very business-like and has criticised how he latches and how I hold him - both incorrectly apparently - so I don't really feel able to open up to her about how I'm feeling. (I was feeling reasonably confident about breastfeeding until this - and baby is well over birth weight now - he'd put on about 1lb when he was weighed at 2 weeks)
She did ask how I was and when I said "really tired", she just said "well, sleep when the baby sleeps" and then moved on to something else. I do try and sleep when he does but I'm a very light sleeper who takes a while to get to sleep so basically don't get much rest at all. I could sleep in a different room but I'm paranoid about leaving him alone.

I haven't been out much - to the GP for a 2nd course of antibiotics for UTI and to a breastfeeding cafe which OH drove me to. If I want to go this week I will need to drive myself - the thought of which is terrifying me at the moment. Everything just seems too big and unachievable. OH suggested taking him for a walk in his pram during the day but it just seems too much of an effort. It's enough to get dressed and get downstairs in the morning.

I just want to stop feeling that everything is a battle and an effort.

Saffagal

I don't know where you live/ what your situation is, but although not necessarily very MSE, you could take a taxi to the breastfeeding cafe, and book one for the return too if it feels too much to go on your own.

I went to one that OH drove me to, and then didn't go anywhere unless OH was with me until I started walking just a short walk at first as couldn't drive and my GP was old school in believing a 6 week wait is necessary.

Do you have a contact number for the health visitor team? Perhaps you could have a chat with one of the other health visitors if you ring up?

Another option would be once OH is home, go to bed whilst OH has LO until the next feed is needed; that way you can relax knowing LO is being looked after x

I would say you are doing an amazing job feeding him if he is already over his birth weight! Well done! Mine took 5 weeks to get back up to her birthweight. I didn't like my HV either, but found the children's centre an amazing support once I could get there (after an emergency c-sec wasn't allowed to drive for a full 6 weeks).

Mrshaworth2b

Aunty-Pickle wrote: »

my little boy will be 3 weeks tomorrow.
When does it start getting better/easier?!
Do you get more sleep or just feel less tired or just adjust to coping with less sleep?
When do you have a day when you didn't cry?!

Firstly congratulations, secondly it does get easier in time but until it does you do have to muddle through.

Do you have much support? Family wise? Friends wise?
I can't help you with breastfeeding I'm afraid but what I will say is every midwife I met had different ideas of latching and holding which was no help.
Keep an eye on your mood, if it feels like everything is overwhelming you may need to speak to the Dr, baby blues are normal but sometimes it's more than that and for that you will need help.
We will help you as much as we can with support if you need us.

I didn't find it easy to sleep when the baby slept until he was about 2 months and I stuck him in bed with me, but appreciate that 3 weeks is too early. The first few weeks are the hardest but eventually you will be able to pump and your oh with be able to do the last feed of the day perhaps so you can sleep earlier?

How are you feeling today?

sulphate

Hello ladies. Can I join this thread please. I haven't posted here much since my little boy was born 10 February.

I am struggling emotionally at the moment as he has terrible silent reflux and is unsettled most of the time. I haven't found my DH or in laws to be as supportive as I expected. My mum is great but she is very busy so I feel alone a lot of the time. My health visitors are useless.

Aunty Pickle - big big hugs and congratulations, I remember you from the pregnancy threads I think? I am breastfeeding too. I found it got easier week by week but as soon as I hit 6 weeks I noticed he wasn't constantly feeding. The sleep gradually improved and now he sleeps 9pm-7am ish with one night feed.
There is a Facebook group for 2015 MSE babies, PM me if you want to join and I'll get someone to add you.

Mrshaworth2b

Hi sulphate, we had a lot of problems with reflux, I only had my oh that took me seriously, my Dr and the hv were useless. So if you ever want to talk about reflux I'm here. It's bloody hardwork and very draining. From our experience it all got better after 6 months, but it made the first 6 months feel like forever.

Aunty-Pickle

family live hours away and friends are all at work during the day.

he's either feeding or I'm trying to settle him. It seems like as soon as I've put him down he's wanting another feed.

I'm just so tired