MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 3

sarahevie

Re baby groups. I'm the same made a few friends at them that I see away from the groups, but I've had a lot of different mummy friends in the last 5 years.

Fact is people move, (we have too), people return to work, all my antenatal lot are now dispersed across 4 different primary schools (within four miles) but the kids get new friends, it's not as easy to meet up anymore when you return to work etc.

It made me really sad the first couple of years, how you formed friendships and then people moved on, and no fall outs or anything just never got the chance to catch up. I'm now realising a lot of my peers are the same.

As I've now got three girls, we make our own fun. I keep a diary so I can tell them what we have been up to in their childhood and we see friends 3 times a week, playdates, baby groups, classes etc the rest of the time it's just us.

I completely agree with Continual Diamond the classes change and you don't necessarily form the friendships when its different faces every week.

*Nutella*

Thanks CD. Re. nurseries, I would ignore your friend on this occasion - a lot will have changed in all those years and she's also seeing it from a very different perspective having been a member of staff rather than a parent. I think you should stick with your and your OH's decision

sunshine_1988

Third time lucky Nutella, fingers crossed. We ended up selling to our third buyers so hopefully you do too.

CD, I worked in nurseries for 4yrs before I started my career and its completely different looking at them as a parent. As an employee its things like shifts, salary and the general relationship with staff and management but as a parent that doesnt really matter at all so its massively different. Even if an employee doesnt like working there it could be something minor like too little pay or awkward shifts which doesnt affect the way its run day to day.
Also, when we were looking for A we looked at a purpose built nursery that was lovely, all new stuff etc. But we settled on where he is, a converted old barn house. Totally different settings. It just seemed more busy, stuff going on everywhere and a ton of seperate rooms. Also cooked on site which was important to us. Its never good to judge a book by its cover I suppose x

Bangton

I've been interested in the responses to [/B]tranmere[/B] as I'm not a huge fan of baby groups. I like the ones where I'm interacting with lo like massage and yoga but I can't abide the ones where it's just a group sitting on plastic chairs with old, knackered toys hoping for a bit of chat.

I went to a group once where they flapped some parachutes and sang songs. It was awful... I just remember thinking I had no idea how to cope with this massive life change and crazy singing.

I posted on netmums to 'meet a mum' and got about 10 messages. Some never followed it through but I met a lovely group of six mums/babies. Unfortunately this seems to have fallen by the wayside. last week they barely stayed when I hosted, this week only one mum was interested in meeting and no one really replied.

I had a good friend round on Thursday and when she left I felt a little blue as I miss being around people I know well and am comfortable with. I've worked 25 miles from home for 12 years and most of my friends are now that far away. Not a problem pre baby but now it's quite far to travel to see people and although I do make it there a few times a month and they visit me it's still a lot of days where OH/family/friends are working while I'm at home.

I've gone off on a tangent now but I'd prefer play dates rather than actual groups which bore me but the alternative is to be home alot and I've never being a home body. I like to be out and about although I'm getting used to being at home more.

If she doesn't like the groups and is happy not to go then I don't think it's a problem not to go. my lo has little interest in babies (he likes adults that let him pull their hair/fingers and talk silly to him best) so if I didn't go I wouldn't feel like he was missing out. I do think the groups at baby stage are more for mum/dad really.

We went to the park today as the weather improved. LO loved it on the swing but the best thing was when we took his socks off and plonked him on the grass. He giggled his head off at the texture. He was asleep for part of it so OH and I had chance to have a nice chat and a hug or two when we had a rest. so it's been lovely all round.

saffa happy birthday to your lo.. hope it was a lovely day!

Rummer

The groups I have been to have been quite mixed, some have had lovely people and I have felt relaxed however in others it has been uncomfortable and awkward.

If I am honest though I have yet to meet many people I would like to make friends with and those that I would like to know better often have children at a different stage to mine so suggesting a play date wouldn't work.

Most of the groups in my area also start very early in the morning when DS is having his nap or at 2pm just before my DD gets out of school so the timing is frustrating (yet understandable). I really should make more of an effort though as it would be lovely to add to my circle of friends.

minimuffin12

Im not keen on baby groups either. We went to one when I was off and will see out the term as im off on the day that its on until june, its so clicky and I cant stand that. Ive chatted to a few people there and made one friend but some weeks she isnt there.. I would have loved to make a few mummy firends who live local as Im not originially from here but didnt work out. Hey ho. Kept v.busy now with work and looking after ds.
Bangton your day sounds nice and great to spend time wih oh.
cd, dont let your friend put you off the nursery, still go on your instinct.
cake love the pic of your girls.
nutella really hope this works out for you, it fills me with dread at the thought of being in a chain when we sell as we were ftb with this house.
saf happy 1st birthday to a, hope you all had a fab day

lazywife

Just popping on to say Happy Birthday to your A Saf. Can't believe it!
I'll get a chance to read back proper later, for now (after a quick scan) Boo to the house woes Nutella, LOL to the pic Cake, cd keep with your instinct, it's been so long since your friend was there things have to move one.
Baby groups, I'm not a fan. I've met baby friends through a church session that meets once a month (I'm not overly religious, was recommended when we went for T's Christening and we've kept it up as a nice group). Then swimming with other LOs once a week and his nursery 3 days per week (soon to start). I'm happy he's a very sociable baby and I think mixing in adult company as well as children can help teach social skills.
L.xxx

continualdiamond

Groups obviously vary so much it makes it hard to find ones you like.

I live in a village but only 10 mins from town, however at the village school is a group so I went along ages ago thinking it would be great to make friends in the village. However everyone knew everyone else from having older children attend the school so it was mainly mums dropping off a child for school and staying for the group with their 2nd child.

I only went the once as just mainly sat on my own with lo, no one approached me except for the lady running it, despite it being really busy.

I went along to one run by the church which cost £1, the mums got a hot drink and cake and the lo's got some food and a drink as well. Now this one at the end did get everyone together to sing some songs and my lo thought that was brilliant, she loved watching the children stand up singing and dancing. It was only my lo and 2 others that were around the same age, the other children were about 3 or 4.

I just hate being inside on my own with her and just really expected to make some good mummy friends before I went back to work. Perhaps once lo is at nursery and I start bumping into familiar faces when picking lo up I may make some friends that way.

I also posted on netmums and have had one lady keep in regular contact and we're on about catching up in a few weeks so hopefully that goes okay.

Thank you for the replies again re nursery. I've had a child minder contact me and am visiting her on Thurs morning and decided after that we'll make a decision, not going to spend any more time looking as just need to enjoy the rest of my maternity leave.

Have a nice Sunday everyone for the rest of it.

tranmereforever

Thanks for all the replies re: Baby Groups,

A lot of what has been said is exactly how she feels about them

Glad she is not the only one who is not overly keen

SmlSave

Hi everyone I felt absolutely terrible yesterday and spent most of the day in bed so I'm really enjoying today. DH let me lie in, I took dead and Dr to Starbucks and the play park, popped round next door for coffee and now dd is asleep while ds is currently sat in the baby bath under the shower messing about A lovely day so far.

So far in 3 years I've found 2 baby groups that I enjoy. A breastmates group - they have amazing cake and a play group with a good mix of people (including a battle axe but there's one) A new group has just started at the local church which I'm giving a go. Last week it was really disorganized but 2 sisters adopted me so I found it friendly. The other ladies I spoke to were polite but made no effort to continue a conversation.