Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

Errata

That sounds like a far happier day than being stuck in Oxford biting your tongue.

Savvy_sewing

Morning! Oh those twittering birds outside my window are driving me nuts!
Sleep interrupted enough without the dawn chorus as well!
Weird dreams, disturbing dreams, middle of the night. Really vivid colours and woke just as a dead body fell th right trees at my feet!!!!! Heart was racing like thunder through my chest!!! Hope that's not a repeat dream!!!

So to a slow start, drinking my first cup of tea, and thinking about the day ahead. My friend at work has gone on holiday for two weeks, so nobody to chat to about ideas, or just to chat too when I need to stretch my legs.
I shall miss her.
Had several texts from Ex, nothing exciting, just wanting to know if I wanted some patio furniture. ( he does gave a spare set), but of course it was an excuse to start a conversation. I replied I'm in Bournemouth! Which didn't help his ploy. A few questions like how did it compare to Portugal etc. So I did reply, but it isn't making me feel sorry for him, or regretting my decision. He had 10 years of my life, and he's not getting anymore his way.
I felt really happy, even though it was a lot of driving for a few hours on a crowded beach. dGD behaved beautifully, and didn't even complain when we were on a dash to get back to the car before the ticket ran out, and I had to say no to an ice cream.
The smiles and hugs were worth it. Even the sand in unmentionable places!
Although I can't afford the petrol to do that every weekend! Or the energy.
But we will do something again soon as I can.
It's work mode now. I need to sell off my craft makes etc, and bring in some cash. Today is the bread and butter money at work, tomorrow is what I can achieve in my sewing room. Converting my stash into beautiful or practical bits and bobs.

Errata

Just an excuse? He contacts you and you respond like a well trained dog being offered a bone and give him a chunk of your life yet again. I'm at a loss to understand your motive, He doesn't deserve your pity or a nano second of your time, but it won't surprise me when you get back together again.
I'm very glad you had the chance yesterday to be you and not the false person you have to be when you're with him.

whiteguineapig

mooloo if you really want to finish with him why do you still let him text you?
why don't you just block him?

editing to add
i;m not very experienced in these matters but even i can see he's just playing on it, he will be offering to take dgd out next , saying he misses her etc just to try and get round you

Savvy_sewing

I suppose it's a habit.
ButI am under no illusion that I will find it easy to walk away. I wish I could. However I am not under any illusions about his motives either( although I doubt he realises that's what he's up to).
Access to DGD will be a tough one, he did take her out last time in January.
But I am not going to play games.
If after all the times he's reeled me in, and he hasn't changed, he won't change now.
I'm not going to be under the spell any more.
I'm moving on, as I am stronger then I was, and I don't intend to just be.
I want to live, laugh and be the master of my own future.
I have plans.
I have things to do.

Errata

OK youVe told him the relationship is over. Over means end of, finished, it no longer exists. If you keep responding to him you're sending him a clear message the relationship hasn't ended. A harsh view if your actions is that you're both playing each other. One of you has to stop playing games, be the better person and make sure it's you.

Savvy_sewing

I know your right, I just hate hurting people. I know it doesn't make sense when he hurts me, but I will remember what your saying and not play the game.
I have to switch the focus from him off.

minimoneysaver

You ought to see if you can get a B&B for a couple of nights next time. They're usually very cheap and if you go down on Friday after school, it'll feel like a real holiday away. Perfect for you and DGD. x

supermezzo

If you can't switch him off for yourself, Mooloo, you have to for the sake of DGD. You don't want her growing up thinking that the way he treats you is a decent way for a man to behave.


Really sorry to be blunt, especially when things are so tough, but as the child of a woman who allowed men to walk all over her, I am living proof that what is learned as a child is nigh on impossible to re-think as an adult. And I cannot for one second imagine that you would ever allow anyone to mis-treat DGD in any respect. By your example, teach her that she is a valuable and respected person who deserves someone to love and cherish her, not demean and belittle her.


Like I say, sorry for being blunt. Stay strong.

Errata

Mooloo wrote: »

I know your right, I just hate hurting people. I know it doesn't make sense when he hurts me, but I will remember what your saying and not play the game.
I have to switch the focus from him off.

You're not hurting him! He's in a panic because no other woman on earth would put up with him.
Super mezzo is quite right, your DGD is entitled to learn how decent men behave towards women, and how women can live their lives without being frightened of saying the wrong thing.