Partner been violent, can he be kept away from the home advice please

Miz_Gayle

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Let's get this in proportion...

No-one was actually hurt, so this was the threat of violence rather than violence itself. The friend and her son (well done to him) made it clear that they found this behaviour unacceptable: the police also made it clear to the gentleman concerned that he could not behave like that. Given that this is out of character, not part of a pattern of behaviour, it would be intelligent to allow him to apologise and allow things to get back to normal.

Of course, if there have been other incidents like this then she needs to end the relationship.

The woman was grabbed by the throat and slapped by this man this was assault he also threatened her son with violence which is also a crime
I don't mean to be rude but what is there to put in "proportion"

meritaten

While I think its only right the woman puts her own safety and that of her children first - I do find it puzzling that the man has behaved this way 'Out of the Blue'.
and yes, there could be 'medical trauma', a person with concussion can behave irrationally and violently and later have no recollection of having done so.
I am not excusing his behaviour, just saying there may be reasons for it.
I have seen this while barmaiding at a local rugby club - someone who has taken a knock on the head during the match, can suddenly become violent and abusive while previously appearing ok.

Janepig

paulineb wrote: »

My point is, if you really think that its a womans tongue that sets a man off to violence or indeed vice versa, you have the most simplistic view of violence that Ive ever seen in my entire life. Its just another way of saying he/she was asking for it or deserved it or the person who was giving out the slap was goaded into it.

I'm not sure if this is simply local to me and varies across the country, but in the last ten years or so I've seen a vast improvement in how seriously the Police and other authorities take domestic abuse. I can remember being called into Court as part of my job as the Magistrates were asking for a report on someone who had been found/pleaded guilty to a DV common assault and as I hadn't heard the facts the chairman of the bench decided to explain to me what had happened and was at pains to point out that it was "only a slap" - how I kept my mouth shut in open Court was a miracle!!

I do a slightly different job now but if anyone on my caseload is involved as either victim or perpertrator of DV then afew days later I get what's called a PPD1 form via e-mail, which gives details of what happened, whether there were children present, their details, etc... and that's even in cases like this where no-one was arrested and one party or other was told to go and cool their heels elsewhere. The Police also involve Social Services as necessary and whatever other agencies are deemed suitable. I'm sure it's not perfect, but it's so much better than the situation even just afew years ago.

Jx

sharnad

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Let's get this in proportion...

No-one was actually hurt, so this was the threat of violence rather than violence itself. The friend and her son (well done to him) made it clear that they found this behaviour unacceptable: the police also made it clear to the gentleman concerned that he could not behave like that. Given that this is out of character, not part of a pattern of behaviour, it would be intelligent to allow him to apologise and allow things to get back to normal.

Of course, if there have been other incidents like this then she needs to end the relationship.

it was physical assault, She should report it to the police.

marywooyeah

Op she needs to report the matter to the police. If he is charged with an offence he will be put under bail conditions which will prevent him from going near her or the property which will give her protection, and if he breaches tge conditions he will be arrested for breach of bail.

If the police take no action, she can apply for a non molestation order and an occupation order. The non mol is designed to prevent threatening, harrassing and pestering behaviour and breach of the non mol is a criminal offence. The occupation order will exclude him from the home but they are hard to get, much more likely to get it if she applies for a non mol at the same time. She needs to act quickly though.

If you need any help feel free to pm xxx

hollydays

What strikes me is that she's concerned for her son, not so much for herself? Isn't this just how abused women behave?