Partner been violent, can he be kept away from the home advice please

shopaholicjules

Hi

Just wondering if anyone can help and has any advice.
My friend has been with her partner for over ten years with no problems and they have a nine year old son.
Last night for some unknown reason, well because she said no to seasoning the turkey, he got hold of her by the throat and also slapped her.
Her eldest son (18) heard what was happening and became angry, trying to stick up for his mum, her partner wasn't happy about this and threatened her son, this was out of character.
She felt very scared for her son so rang the Police who advised he go and stay with a family member for things to calm down.
My friend does not want him back in the house due to what has happened and not feeling she can trust that nothing will happen between him and her son.
From looking on the internet, we cannot find if she is legally able to stop him from returning home at present, she is going to speak to a Solicitor tomorrow but is trying to get some advice in case he comes home tonight.
At the moment, it seems his family are believing him when he is saying he has done nothing wrong which just isn't true. She is a private person and certainly wouldn't have rang the Police if she had of felt she had any other choice.

Any advice appreciated

Thanks

liuhutOz

How awful for your friend and friends son. It really depends on who owns/rents the house as to what can be done to stop access.
I'm sure if your friend is getting legal advise, they will be able to go through it all.
Hope it works out for them.

meritaten

lock the doors and windows and refuse to answer them. make sure the 18 yr old is there. phone womens aid for the best advice.
if the local police have a domestic violence unit (they should) then she should advise them what has happened and tell them she is afraid.

This sounds out of character - or is it? are you sure they haven't had problems? because a person doesn't behave like this out of the blue. over something so trivial? are drugs involved? because he could very well have been slipped a drug (doesn't just happen to females) and may be wondering what the hell has happened?

shopaholicjules

Thanks for your responses
The house is in both names with them both on the mortgage.
There are no drink or drug issues.
It is out of character but it was about not getting his own way. She will get advice tomorrow but just want to know if he comes back tonight, is she within her rights to not let him in given the house is in joint names.
He didn't get arrested last night,she said she was happy for him to just leave which the police told him to do

Thanks

Ms_Chocaholic

Is you friend reporting this to the Police as a crime? If so, her partner will be arrested and could be bailed whilst investigations continue. Bail conditions are usually included which often include do not go within XXX metres of family home, do not contact victim/witnesses etc etc.

krlyr

Perhaps try the Women's Aid website for advice?

thorsoak

Lock the doors from the inside, put snibs down/chains on and leave keys in the locks where possible: this means that a key cannot be used externally.

bigmomma051204

She should give the National Domestic Violence helpline a call

http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/

Number is 0808 2000 247

They will be able to advise - if she is in fear again, she needs to be calling to police and asking them to come out.

lika_86

Legally I think he has the right to enter the house as he's an owner, however, my understanding is that this is a civil matter and if she were to exclude him from the house then there would be little he could do about it in the short-term if she needs some time to sort herself out.

However, to do so could provoke a reaction from him that may not be the best thing if she does want to continue with the relationship (which I think should only be agreed to if professional help is involved).

She should get some advice, but in the meantime, start getting together all the important paperwork (she may not leave, but it's useful to make those preparations and have that paperwork/information stored somewhere else and somewhere safe just in case).

Voyager2002

Let's get this in proportion...

No-one was actually hurt, so this was the threat of violence rather than violence itself. The friend and her son (well done to him) made it clear that they found this behaviour unacceptable: the police also made it clear to the gentleman concerned that he could not behave like that. Given that this is out of character, not part of a pattern of behaviour, it would be intelligent to allow him to apologise and allow things to get back to normal.

Of course, if there have been other incidents like this then she needs to end the relationship.

paulineb_2

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Let's get this in proportion...

No-one was actually hurt, so this was the threat of violence rather than violence itself. The friend and her son (well done to him) made it clear that they found this behaviour unacceptable: the police also made it clear to the gentleman concerned that he could not behave like that. Given that this is out of character, not part of a pattern of behaviour, it would be intelligent to allow him to apologise and allow things to get back to normal.

Of course, if there have been other incidents like this then she needs to end the relationship.

He grabbed her by the throat and slapped her, sounds pretty violent to me.

OP, I think she needs to take legal advice which she is getting and if he returns to the house before she gets advice, she should call the police.