Not sending Xmas cards

KxMx

I haven't apart from very close family and friends for the last two years- last year Granddad had just died (not even friends got one) and this year Mum broke her wrist the week before Xmas and I was too busy running round trying to cope looking after her with my own health issues, I managed to write a few for family though.

I did though put together a home made e-card, a basic email decorated with animated GIF's and sent that round with email addresses I had for people.

noelphobic

This_Year wrote: »

I find this rude - texting to ask why a card hasn't been given! .

Exactly!


We went to see a concert in November. It was on my birthday, coincidentally. She gave me my present a few days before and said she wouldn't be mentioning my birthday at the concert as another friend was going and she would be upset that she hadn't known. I had to therefore be careful all night that I didn't mention the fact that it was my birthday or say anything about the presents my son had got me (I met them at the concert after having a meal with my son).

skattykatty

it sounds like your friend prompts a degree of 'treading on eggshells' around her, which makes me wonder how insecure and anxious she can be...you are just doing your thing, try not to get sucked into whatever games she plays...if she's a good friend, maybe you could just ask her straight out how she feels about the situation and reiterate that you just don't DO christmas cards. It's her choice whether or not she does...as it's your choice not to..

This is the 3rd year that I haven't done Christmas cards...a few years ago I felt a bit bad at work cos I got so many cards, but it's got much easier to let it go and, this year, only 5 work cards!!!

Billie-S

Some years ago, I used to get bugged by this, as I found it a snub if I sent someone a card and they didn't send one back. It was like they didn't care enough to bother.

I didn't realise actually, (or think,) that not everybody is crazy about Christmas. So this last few years, I have just sent Christmas cards out to whoever I want to, and have not actually made a note - or a point - of checking every card sent back, and who has 'forgotten us.' And quite honestly, I'm not that fussed.

My husband and 2 daughters have actually opened some cards when they have come through the letterbox, so I have no idea who has or has not sent a card, as I haven't gone through every single one.

If you are sending them to receive one back, then that is not the right reason for sending them.

This 'friend' of yours OP, needs to get over herself. People don't omit to send a card because they dislike someone: it's just sometimes, there are much higher and important priorities in their life than returning a Christmas card to everyone who sends them one. And as I said, not everybody is 'into' Christmas.

My husband and I and our two daughters have about 85-90 cards between us this year, from colleagues, friends, family, neighbours, and my daughters' friends at uni, but I can't remember how many we sent between us, and I have no idea who didn't send one back - or even if anyone didn't. It really doesn't matter.

The simple answer for anyone who is bugged by someone not sending them a card, is don't send them one next time. Don't ever send one again unless they send one first.

mumcoll

This is the 5th year I haven't done cards on a general scale. I send to old friends who I don't see much of and my dad who lives away. Anyone I see, I can't see the point of giving a card as I see them, this includes neighbours, workmates and family.


Most people I know are aware that I don't do cards, some give them to me anyway, some don't. It's one less stressor at Christmas.

Abbafan1972

I have cut down the amount of cards I send over the last couple of years from about 30 to about 12, it's so expensive for stamps nowadays. I will send a few to neighbours and my Mom, Dad and hubby and also work colleagues.

I just sent a few to close friends. I've stopped sending them to family who I never see. My Mom though is big on cards and when she received a card for me in the same envelope as hers from her cousin in Coventry, she asked me if I'd sent them one, I said no and she pulled a face and said could I send them one, I did as there was still a few days for it to arrive.

One of my cousins always delivers her cards on Christmas eve and hand delivers them for some reason (surely it must cost them more in petrol than posting them), there was a card for me pushed through my Mom's door and she went mad at me because I hadn't sent them one. I don't think my cousin would have minded, but I didn't send her one as it was too late anyway. I saw her on the 23rd when I was on the escalator in Next in Birmingham city centre and she said hello to me, but we were passing each other on the escalator, so didn't have a chance to chat.

One thing that really riles me is when people post cards and don't check if it's large letter and it gets held at the delivery office, I got one this year, it was a long and thin card. I have the person on Facebook and she apologised to me and said that the Royal Mail must have changed the sizing as they were usually ok. To be safe I always send the small square ones.

dawyldthing

my dad always just puts a stamp on it and for 2 years i had to pay a pound and the fee . My aunty did the same as well this year. I sent a few this year including to my collegues and had some back but don't think it has to happen. I think it means more if you have a drink or a catch up with people instead rather than sending a card

Kaz2904

My MiL start going on at the kids in November that she wants a card from them. They are now 12 and 10. The first year DD was born she went mad at not getting a Grandma card (DD was 5 weeks old!) for Christmas.
This year she did actually say to me "your family aren't bothered about cards are they?" just before Christmas. I said "No, we've never sent cards to people we're seeing on Christmas day, only to family members we can't see on Christmas day". It seems as though she has finally realised that we are not trying to cause offence but that I have not been brought up to send cards to the entire world so if she wants one, she'd better remind everyone she wants one or it won't be on our radar!
Daft really, we see her on Christmas day even if she isn't having dinner with us! But, that's what she wants.
I didn't send any others this year really, I spent £15 on gifts to be wrapped and sent to the food bank. It was a very successful charity drive near us and they received over 600 gifts. Made me feel far better than writing hundreds of meaningless cards.

olgadapolga

I don't send cards because I think that it is a waste of time and money.

I used to send cards because my DH wanted "us" to (meaning that I wrote them and sent them). Half the cards were to people who I had either never met or hadn't seen for years; they probably weren't bothered about receiving a card as we were unlikely to ever see them again. The other half went to people whom I see/speak to regularly and I'd rather make the effort to go and see people or ring them than send a card that is meaningless.

This year also proved to me that people only send cards in response to my sending them out; I received three cards in total, two from friends who I see/email/speak to regularly and one from the neighbours who I see/speak to on an almost daily basis. When we used to send cards out we'd get a lot more back; this to me makes the whole exercise pointless (and expensive).

The only people who benefit from the millions of cards sent each year are the post office, royal mail and the card manufacturers!

Scrooge? Maybe. But I'd rather save the money (a good £50) for something useful instead of sending cards out to people I don't really care about, just because it's "expected".

arbroath_lass

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

One of my cousins always delivers her cards on Christmas eve and hand delivers them for some reason (surely it must cost them more in petrol than posting them.

If we're related :rotfl:it's because I've only just written them at lunchtime