Time to change?

joansgirl

I sent cash to my kids and grandchildren this year as I have every year. In all that time I have never received even a Christmas card from any of them let alone a thank you. Same with birthdays. I visited my sister in law on Christmas evening and gave her daughter (7) a present and some cash and she didn't say thank you either.


They're all a bunch of ungrateful parasites as far as I'm concerned. I don't hear from my kids unless they want something. I'm seriously thinking of stopping sending the money. I bet I'd hear from them then!

iris

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe I'm too cynical but could this just be her way of saying 'Hey! Don't forget me at Christmas'. :rotfl:

This had crossed my mind as well:)

ska_lover

Hi OP, the fact that you say you are facing some hefty bills in the near future - I would say yes you have been a fool. If it were me, I wouldn't be doing it again. Especially as you are being taken for granted.

CH27

joansgirl wrote: »

I sent cash to my kids and grandchildren this year as I have every year. In all that time I have never received even a Christmas card from any of them let alone a thank you. Same with birthdays. I visited my sister in law on Christmas evening and gave her daughter (7) a present and some cash and she didn't say thank you either.


They're all a bunch of ungrateful parasites as far as I'm concerned. I don't hear from my kids unless they want something. I'm seriously thinking of stopping sending the money. I bet I'd hear from them then!

How sad!
Why do you keep sending cards & money if you have no proper contact?

Tiddlywinks

joansgirl wrote: »

I sent cash to my kids and grandchildren this year as I have every year. In all that time I have never received even a Christmas card from any of them let alone a thank you. Same with birthdays. I visited my sister in law on Christmas evening and gave her daughter (7) a present and some cash and she didn't say thank you either.

They're all a bunch of ungrateful parasites as far as I'm concerned. I don't hear from my kids unless they want something. I'm seriously thinking of stopping sending the money. I bet I'd hear from them then!

What is it about Christmas that brings out the bitterness in relationships?

People do things they don't want to do, see people they don't want to see and grudgingly give presents without any joy... WHY?

Why do something that makes you feel that way?

joansgirl

CH27 wrote: »

How sad!
Why do you keep sending cards & money if you have no proper contact?

Because they're my kids.

Pollycat

joansgirl wrote: »

Because they're my kids.

and you believe in unconditional love.......

Kids or not, if I sent them money and didn't get a 'Thank you' or even a Christmas card in return, I'd stop sending them any money.

You refer to them as 'ungrateful parasites' - why on earth do you persist?
Yeah, I know - they're your kids. :cool:

I agree with CH27 - that's very sad.

Tiddlywinks

joansgirl wrote: »

Because they're my kids.

But, in sending those presents and getting nothing in return, you seem to be quite bitter about it all... wouldn't it be better for you to just not do it... or just do it because you want to do it without expecting anything back?

joansgirl

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

But, in sending those presents and getting nothing in return, you seem to be quite bitter about it all... wouldn't it be better for you to just not do it... or just do it because you want to do it without expecting anything back?

I'm not really bitter, I don't want or expect anything in return but a text to say thanks would be nice. I was just using my situation to show the op that they're not alone in thinking some people are ungrateful/selfish.


I suppose it is very sad but it is what it is.

ska_lover

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I never like giving cash - it just doesn't seem that thoughtful or personal. I only tend to give cash to teenagers who have said they are saving for something.

If I received cash from a relative, as an adult with my own income etc, I'd be a bit insulted to be honest. I'd rather just have a card with a lovely personal message and a phone call on the day.

Could you not have bought presents and posted them or given them to the relative who was visiting?

Cash just screams that it was a hurried afterthought.

I totally disagree, I'd much rather have cash so I can buy something I actually like - or put it in savings, rather than receive a present that is to the buyers taste. I really dislike receiving household objects, a clock or something, that a gift is someone elses taste - I want to furnish my home in my own taste, wear the perfume I actually like etc etc.

So many unwanted presents end up down the charity shop this time of year proves a great deal of presents given are disliked or unwanted - some great bargains to be had in the charity shops in early January

To be fair, this doesn't really apply to Christmas in our household as we don't really celebrate Christmas or exchange presents, but birthdays we do