Time to change?

sleepymans

I live over 200 miles from most of my family, however another relative was seeing them all over Christmas so I asked her to take from me a gift for my Mum and I put £25 cash each in money wallet type cards for everyone else (3 adults and 5 kids aged between 10 and 17 yrs).


My Mum called me thrilled with her pressie, but NOT ONE of the 8 others has either called, texted, emailed or sent via word of mouth one syllable of thanks.


I don't give to receive and sincerely don't mind that I won't get anything "in return", if I want something personal I like to choose it (and pay for it) for myself anyway. But 2 words of acknowledgement too much to expect?


I am not wealthy and face some pretty hefty bills in the next couple of months and that £200 would have come in handy!


I realise cash is not an imaginative gift, but I thought they can have cash to get much more of what they want (in the post-xmas sales)


Have I been a fool to be so generous or am I "thoughtless" by giving cash instead of gifts?

Netwizard

sleepymans wrote: »

Have been a fool to be so generous?

Not at all. Since you live so far away, I guess you don't have too many choices of gift. At least with money they can all buy what they want.

BUT

To not even call and say thanks is out of order. This really boils my !!!! with people. I don't give to receive either but if someone can't even be bothered to say the words "Thank You", they get nothing else from me EVER.

At least now you know not to bother

specialboy

Maybe they only do thank you in person or maybe they havn't had chance to call you yet, its only been 4 days since Christmas and the holidays aren't over yet.
The other option which im sure a lot of people will be thinking is that the person entrusted to deliver the cash has kept it but they would have to be stupid to do that with 8 people involved and the chance of being found out.

kelpie35

I agree with you, manners cost nothing.

I hope you have a good new year.

browneyedbazzi

I agree as well - manners are free and it is extremely easy to call/text/email/facebook a message of thanks. Those who can't be bothered to do so little don't really deserve the time/thought/expense of gifts in my books.

I've lived away from my family for many years but always send gifts to my parents, nephew and niece for birthdays and christmas. My nephew turned 18 this autumn and once again didn't bother to utter a word of thanks - for years I've said if he can't bother to say thank you I'd stop sending gifts but didn't quite have the heart to follow through. When it came to sending christmas gifts this year I decided not to send anything for him - my mom thought i was being harsh and actually threatened to buy something for him and put it under the tree labelled from me because he might feel left out and have his feelings hurt. I argued that he's an adult now, not a child, and that he'll be a self-centred s**t forever if he is continually pandered to and spoiled and it's high time he learned that he isn't simply entitled to everything.

FBaby

Maybe they are doing thank you cards? I agree that a phone call would have been nice, but a card within a week's time would be second best for me.

djp64

I've been in exactly the same position - no thanks from the parents when the children were smaller and as the children (niece and nephew) got older no thanks from them either. Wasn't expecting a card or a letter - just a phone call to say thank you / we received your gift.

When the children got old enough to initiate the thank you on their own behalf and it still wasn't forthcoming I decided to stop.

Felt guilty for the first year but now I'm over it :-) and no longer feel hurt / frustrated that they CBA to say thank you.

Debbie

Maz

I take the view that if someone can't be bothered to thank me, then I can't be bothered to send any more presents. End of.

Pollycat

Reading the title of your thread - 'Time to Change?' - I think you might be being a bit hasty at this stage.

I totally agree that if people can't be bothered to say 'Thank you' either in person, by text or in a letter then they don't deserve gifts next year.

However, as Fbaby points out, there may be 'Thank you' letters in the post.

I'd give it a week or so, then text or ring each person to ask if they appreciated the money you gave them.

I personally don't think giving money is thoughtless, especially when you can't get to see them.

Just curious - did any of these 8 people give or send you a gift (or even a card)?

Clutterfree

It's only been 4 days!

My children will be writing their thank you notes today, post them tomorrow, hopefully the recipient should receive them on Tuesday but if not, due to the bank holiday, then it will be Thursday.

For goodness sake give them a chance. If they have been as lucky as my children then they will have several thank you notes to write.

Dunroamin

FBaby wrote: »

Maybe they are doing thank you cards? I agree that a phone call would have been nice, but a card within a week's time would be second best for me.

I think a card or a thank you letter's much nicer than a phone call or text.