Learning to think like a frugal person

chanie

Your post about day 11 has really struck a cord with me today. DS needs (wants) a new spiderman outfit as his current one (which he has fallen asleep in) is getting too small. Anyway, I read a tip on the internet that a supermarket were selling half price outfits. I hot-footed it down there after work to be thoroughly disappointed, as they didn't have any spiderman ones. The outfit is relatively cheap and easily budgeted for, I'm just annoyed that I can't get it as a bargain.

I really need to remember that I shouldn't replace the thrill of spending with the thrill of bargains.

With regards to food waste, I have a few ideas:

1) weigh your portions to reduce waste. I read that 50g is a portion of pasta per adult. When I used to make pasta, I would normally use about 300g and end up throwing some away. Now, I use 250g which is half a 500g bag.

2) use leftovers for lunch at work. So, the extra pasta I cook gets used for my lunch at work the next day.

3) plan a two meal cycle. When I can be bothered, I normally think about how I can stretch the food to make two dinners. So, I buy a bigger chicken than we need - meal 1 is roast chicken and the following night, we chuck the rest into a curry. Likewise,left over potatoes become a Spanish omelette and I make a stir fry out of left over rice.

ForMyGirls

Those are great suggestions Chanie - especially the not cooking too much pasta one. I am definitely one for cooking more rice or pasta than needed and ending up throwing it away. I am needing to get better at portion control from a weight perspective so it will help me on both fronts.

I liked your thinking about avoiding letting the 'thrill of a bargain' take over. I have never been a sucker for the thrill of the bargain (more inclined to get sucked in by new packaging!) but I can see how it could be a trap.

Day 12 today - in the book it is practising hunger tolerance - for the world of food you have a day where you skip lunch (so don't eat between breakfast and dinner) to show yourself that "hunger is not an emergency". What I did last time - which I think worked well for me - was to go window-shopping to prove to myself that it is possible to be in a shop, seeing things I desire and NOT spend money. I have put it into my diary to do it this weekend when I will have some child-free time.

Credits: payday yesterday. I took a "needs first - wants after" approach to budgeting and have paid all my bills and have money set aside for all the bills that will come in before the next payday. It meant my play money is a bit reduced for the fortnight - but that's OK. There's still some there. So kudos to me for approaching life as "what I can afford" rather than "what I think I deserve!" Budgeting time also meant it was time to make regular payments against credit card and personal loan debts so nice to be able to update my signature and see those numbers have gone down!

DawnW

I cooked 'too much pasta' last night, but I did it on purpose. I stirred the leftovers into the remains of the bolognese sauce, and put it in a plastic box in the fridge. Tonight I will put it into a baking dish, scatter with a few breadcrumbs and some grated cheese, heat it and brown off the topping and we will have it again with salad. This works with other sauces, as well as bolognese, but I do tend to use penne instead of spaghetti.

Leftover rice gets frozen immediately. You can either use it for work lunches or wait till you have enough leftover pots in the freezer to accompany curry or whatever for a family meal.

ForMyGirls

Thanks for this tip Dawn. Very helpful.

Reporting in on 2 days here because I missed posting last night.

So - Day 13 was learning to deal with cravings. I think this is the most 'identical' of days so far because I figure a food craving is pretty much exactly the same thing as a 'craving' to buy something - that is, the desire is all about meeting a different need, and not about the food (or item) you're actually craving.

So I figure the strategy for this step can be very similar and the strategy Beck suggests is that when notices a craving stop and note down:
a) how intense the craving was - I realise I forgot to talk in my Day 12 post about the 'discomfort scale' she suggests you create - a chart in which you rate some uncomfortable experiences you've had in life on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the most uncomfortable or painful) - and you then use that scale to compare too when you are feeling uncomfortable from hunger or a craving. It's pretty powerful stuff because it puts things in perspective - when one has labour to compare to being hungry, or really, really wanting some item in a shop does like a very minor inconvenience! So - after that digression - when I feel a strong urge to spend money I'll compare it to the other experiences on my discomfort scale and give the feelings I'm having a rating.
2) Note down how long it lasts
3) Note down the 'anti-craving strategies' I used to combat it. This also requires some explanation - she suggests a range of strategies to help stop one giving into a craving. THey are:
1. Label it - name it as a craving:
2. Stand firm - remind myself that each time I resist a craving I strengthen my resistance muscle;
3. Say "no choice" - then I don't have to do the agonising "will I won't I" dance
4. Imagine the aftermath - think about how I will feel 5 minutes AFTER I've given in
5. Remember my ARC - and read it if I need to
6. Distance myself from temptation
7. Use relaxation techniques
8. Distract myself by doing some other activity

Day 14 (today) is about planning. With food I plan each night what I will eat the next day. I was doing it that way with money last time - but I think what I actually need to with money is a fortnightly forecast - that is, on payday when I do my budgeting and see that I have a certain amount of 'play money' left I should look ahead in the fortnight to see what 'play money' expenses I'm going to have in the next fortnight - so that I can make sure I have money for them and don't end up going over budget'.

I have already today had an experience that has made me realise the importance of this planning. I had coffee and cake out after a nice long walk today (fine from a healthy eating perspective given the exercise!) Then when I sat down to do my spending planning I realised that I am going out to dinner with a friend at the end of next week and have a haircut the day before my next payday - so I will go over on my play money. If I had mapped this out BEFORE today I would have known that I couldn't afford all these things. Oh well. I have learnt a lesson here.

Credits - doing my reading yesterday and today. Owning up to the error I have made in budgeting. Accepting my partner's offer to share cost of coffee and cake, rather than being 'proud' and insisting on paying it.

ForMyGirls

Hello coaches,

Day 15 today - in the book it is about monitoring what I eat - so in the world of money it is about monitoring what I spend - that is, adding into YNAB every spend I make! It's also about checking it off against what I had planned to spend. I didn't need much reminding about this - though I think it is easy to slip into a habit of not doing it too.

Credits for the day: Made a good decision about a potential unbudgeted spend. Accidentally ran the car battery flat - thought I had jump cables but I don't. Contemplated buying some but remembered that I don't have any money for that so borrowed instead. Turns out he has a battery charger which he has had for more than 50 years. What a fine lesson in frugality that is! And I did my reading etc. Yay me!

chanie

I think I need to practice 'no spend tolerance'. Since starting this plan, my spending is more considered, but I'm forever opening my purse. On the one hand, all of our bills are paid by Direct Debit, so the only regular spending is food, but at the same time, there is always something we need to buy - New bedding, oil for the car, someone's birthday. The list is endless.

I had another example of the 'thrill of the bargain' today. We were doing our food shop and there was a clothes sale on. I picked up a few bits for Ds (put away as next size up). I saw a dress for DD and was going to buy it as it was 'cheap'. I realised I didn't actually like it so I put it down, but I really have been thinking about why I nearly bought it.

I really need to start reading my ARC in the mornings and remembering to pause, plan, pay, as I have gotten out of the habit of doing it.

On a more positive note, we had a lovely frugal family day out yesterday. I found a cheap activity which only cost a few pounds in car parking. We all had a lovely time.

ForMyGirls

Hey Chanie,

Reinvigorating your 'pause, plan, pay' sounds like a grand idea - it worked very well for you I think. Well done on resisting the 'bargain' dress - it's so weird isn't it the way we can be tempted to buy something we actually don't like that much.

Day 16 today - Preventing Unplanned Eating / Spending. The power of "NO CHOICE". One of today's tasks was to write a "No Choice" response card which I'll add to my morning reading. It has my rules. For money my rules are:
1. I will follow my spending plan
2. I will not spend money unless there is money budgeted
3. I will only buy what is on the list when at the supermarket
4. Whenever possible social meals will be a drink, not a meal

Credits - had to pick up some forgotten groceries this evening. Classic "What else can I buy while I'm here" thoughts to which I said "get a life" and came home just with the eggs I went for. Cooked two meals this week that have used up some of the pumpkin we harvested at the end of autumn.

chanie

FMG - well done for only buying the eggs. This is a real problem for me. I go to the supermarket for a couple of items and then come out with all sorts of other stuff. Its mainly because I'm so busy and I don't always have the time to do the things I need to do, so I end up having to buy extra just because I'm there.

I read my ARC this morning. For some reason, I've avoided doing it, but it really helped to re-focus my mind. I guess I'm not as mindful of my spending since I've stopped reading it, so its a good reminder.

ForMyGirls

Hey CHanie,

Well done for reading your ARC. I get resistant to reading it sometimes too - I think I get a bit bored and find myself thinking "yaada yaada" as I read it. But I think it does help to keep being reminded of the reasons we're doing this.

Day 17 today - learning to not overeat / overspend. An apt one given my experience at the supermarket yesterday. What I did last time and I will do again, is the next time I grocery shop I will put some things in my trolley that I want, knowing that I'm not going to buy them and that I'll put them back on the shelf instead.

Credits for today: an in the office work day today - which means there is more temptation around. Noticed myself thinking "maybe I could go buy a coffee" at various points but was also so crystal clear that I won't. The dinner with my friend at the end of the week is proving a good focus point- I need to save my spending money for then, so I don't want to fritter it on little things. Worth remembering this as a strategy.

chanie

Well done for resisting the coffee. I must admit I'm not really a big takeaway drinker, but I know many people who are. I have really cut down on my 'work spending'. I use the cheapest route possible to get to work. I bring my lunch from home and rarely spend money at work. I now see work spending as a necessary evil.