*Stop The Cavalry* It's The 2014 Christmas Chatter Thread

quidsy

pigpen wrote: »

who's saying I have!?




Yes it IS a fact.. go read PROPER investigations not some trash thrust at parents to make them feel they are failing in every way possible when they really aren't their baby is just being a baby!

And why is my example of what ONE of my 11 children did, not helpful?? One out of 11 fed 4 hourly during the day and slept all the rest of the time... so what.. ONE!! It is helpful to know that some do but the greater majority don't and regardless of how many lying parents say oh mine did this and that.. they aren't usually telling the truth.. that is what was being pointed out.. I have NEVER EVER done anything other than feed my children when hungry and put them to sleep when they were tired so don't try making out I was some fruitcake who followed some insane abusive 'regime' as any part of my child rearing. As it happens that child is now 17 and still sleeps 14 hours a night.. she still eats like 3 men and weighs all of 7.5 stone too.. but that is just the way she is!

Don't EVER read anything into what I write other than what is written.

Umm,, I think you have taken this FAR FAR to personally. I was pointing out that your comment about how babies aren't capable of self settling wasn't right, mine & many others kids do it without any imput of training by the parents.

I have highlighted some parts of your post though to show where more of my objections now come from, you have stated that any one who doesn't agree with your opinion is 1) uninformed & 2) reading trash(!) & you then claim that a parent not agreeing with you is lying & then trying to deflect your rant by attempting to claim I called you a fruitcake or criticized your parenting in any way. I didn't.

In case in the middle of your completely random rant you missed my post & specifically the last paragraph, I will post it for you again;

There is no right or wrong when it comes to child rearing, whether it be feeding
or sleeping, it is what suits YOUR individual child that counts so
comments like this are not helpful to new mothers in any way.

quidsy

Oh I see you have decided to edit & restructure your posts to make it sound less ranty. Thankfully I quoted it so everyone can see what I responded to. (and edited again at 9.25!)

As I said, I don't want nor need to get into a discussion & take this thread off topic but offering your advice but presenting it as 1) fact & 2) the only path for any parent is not helpful to any new parent.

That doesn't make other parents uniformed nor neglectful.

And why is my example of what ONE of my 11 children did or ONE of MrsC's, not
helpful??

I didn't refer to your ONE child or mrs C's post as being unhelpful, what I said was unhelpful was your claim that babies can't self settle & your OPINION that babies should always be with the parent & not int heir own room. That works FOR YOU it doesn't work for EVERYONE.

I'm not sure how much clearer I can make this. I suggest you re-read my initial post again. That was the only content of my post.

girlinayellowdress

Don't think Jesus had this much attention and he slept okay in a manger .... Just saying

Caterina

Some scientific data supporting Pigpen's statement:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out

Empirically, having worked for 10 years as a birth and postnatal doula with a wide variety of parental approaches, I have noted that the babies who get held and reassured when crying were the ones who learned sooner to self-settle.

I attended a very interesting seminar at the Anna Freud Centre (you can't get much more "expert" than that) about attachment. The conclusion was that if you let a baby cry him/herself to sleep consistently, actually changes their neural patterns and some neural patterns are lost. Scary, uncomfortable stuff for the supporters of strict baby routines.

On a more human level, why not just dedicate a few months of your life totally to baby? Life is long enough and you will soon miss the tenderness of closeness and baby time, sleepy cuddles in bed, a warm little body held to your heart, they grow scarily fast.

Caterina

Pinksteps wrote: »

Don't think Jesus had this much attention and he slept okay in a manger .... Just saying

I have seen umpteenth sacred images of Mary holding a sleeping Baby Jesus! Being RC and Italian, living in Rome of all places, trust me, I have been exposed to more sacred imagery of the Holy Mother and her Baby than most people!

What I mean to say is, your statement was just a bit of a non-sequitur. BTW: There is no historical proof of the whole manger birth anyway.

girlinayellowdress

quidsy

No one said picking up baby when it cries shouldn't be done. I am not sure where this direction of thought beyond Pigpen using it as a catalyst for a rant has come from.

But should a baby that happily falls asleep without being rocked or cuddled be rocked & cuddled? I personally don't think so, a self settling baby, one who sleeps without crying, when it wants, needs no soothing. That is a baby that is able to self settle. It needs no encouragement to sleep. Like Mrs Christmas's example, my own would sleep when he felt like it with his own little internal body clock. And as a toddler would ask to go to bed. He slept like a log & still does. What a horrid parent I am!

On a more human level, why not just dedicate a few months of your life
totally to baby? Life is long enough and you will miss the tenderness of the
baby time, sleepy cuddles in bed, a warm little body held to your heart, they
grow scarily fast.

No one beyond you or pigpen has even mentioned this, where is this assumption that people are leaving their kids without physical comfort coming from. It's offensive that if you don't follow ONE style of parenting you are assumed to be withholding comfort from your child. Really!

nic2075

Can I ask who all decorates the outside of their house at Christmas? I have never done it and would like to this year. Just some lights along the garage roof guttering (attached to the house) and maybe a free standing reindeer or a Santa climbing a ladder light. I always worried about the extra cost of electricity and how easy it is to link it all up. But I love seeing a few lights outside as you drive along.
The inside of my house is like Santas grotto, but not too many lights. Just the tree and wrapped round the bannister.

girlinayellowdress

nic2075 wrote: »

Can I ask who all decorates the outside of their house at Christmas? I have never done it and would like to this year. Just some lights along the garage roof guttering (attached to the house) and maybe a free standing reindeer or a Santa climbing a ladder light. I always worried about the extra cost of electricity and how easy it is to link it all up. But I love seeing a few lights outside as you drive along.
The inside of my house is like Santas grotto, but not too many lights. Just the tree and wrapped round the bannister.

I'd like to do it one year but I think my guttering has blown into the field opposite my house in this wind :rotfl:

System

Caterina wrote: »

I have seen umpteenth sacred images of Mary holding a sleeping Baby Jesus! Being RC and Italian, living in Rome of all places, trust me, I have been exposed to more sacred imagery of the Holy Mother and her Baby than most people!

What I mean to say is, your statement was just a bit of a non-sequitur. BTW: There is no historical proof of the whole manger birth anyway.

There is no historical proof of the whole "Jesus thing" to be fair but that a whole other discussion.

There's no right or wrong way to bring up a baby ,you just go with what you feel is right .

The problems happen when peoples opinion are given as fact.

Now to get back on topic