Is it just me being a Scrooge?

notanewuser

penguin83 wrote: »

Funny enough this was being discussed on a parenting page on Facebook yesterday.


There seems to be the opposite going on there and everyone is in competition as to who has spent the least or given the smallest number of presents. Its a reverse things to normal!

We've done something similar. No gifts for adults. DD (3)'s group of friends agreed on homemade presents so more effort than outlay (keeping icing off walls and ceilings etc!). My parents have bought a few second hand toys for DD, sister has bought for her and we've filled a small box with little things she'll love (spent less than £40). She had a book from her other grandparents and an outfit from one set of cousins.

We don't do the Santa thing, and she genuinely expects nothing. We're doing Xmas tomorrow (police worker in family) and she's going to be thrilled with everything regardless of low spend. Xmas won't be a spendfest for us - spending time with friends and family is more important.

NoGoodNamesLeft

I think it's easy to be shocked at the amount parents spend on their kids, especially when you don't have them yourself. My sister has two girls, one got an xbox one and the other got a wii u along with a huge pile of other presents. I can't imagine spending that amount and buying two games consoles, but I don't have kids. Maybe I'd be just as bad if I did and as long as it's their own money, I guess it's up to them.

jellyhead

ViolaLass wrote: »

But why are you giving it if it's ordinary? If they need it, wouldn't it be better to get it when they need it?

e.g. a few years ago, my husband and I were living in a flat that was impossible to heat. My mother sent us an electric blanket after she heard how we were going to bed with all our clothes on and still feeling cold. She sent it in October - not because it was someone's birthday, nor did she save it for Christmas. She sent it to us because we needed it and we needed it then.

We still talk about how wonderful a present it was.

Giving lots of ordinary things smacks of wanting lots of parcels for that person to open (quantity over quality) - if that's what it's about for you, fair enough but I don't really see the point.

It's not 'lots' of presents, it's one stocking and one gift off Santa. If I just gave them all of this stuff all the time, what would I put in the stockings?

Obviously if it was something they 'needed' they would have it earlier. The teenagers have both had new shoes during December, and an extra 'guest teenager' has had gloves, pyjamas, a complete set of clothes etc. because she needed them straight away).

But I'm not as well-off as some of you, and to poor people 'ordinary' things can still be a luxury, and something that couldn't be afforded whenever they felt the urge. I would buy cheapy headphones if I were just handing them over (I have bought several pairs already for the one who's studying music, for college, but for christmas he got brand named ones).

My own presents off the family are an umbrella and a clock. The clock is pretty and I'd seen it months ago and wanted it, but I can't justify just buying one because I feel like it. The umbrella is pretty, because as the only female in the house I said it would be nice to have something pretty instead of using the black umbrellas festooned with skulls. But although I would buy an umbrella from Poundland if I had no umbrella in the house at all, I couldn't spend £10 on a 'pretty' one for myself.

The ordinary things I've given them are ordinary items, but they are not the cheap, basic ones I'd have bought throughout the year.

Goldiegirl

People can spend as much or as little on Christmas presents as they want - it's their business not mine.

But all this plastering of presents all over Facebook - it's like saying look at me and my fantastic life, if anything it shows how insecure these people are

jellyhead

Goldiegirl wrote: »

People can spend as much or as little on Christmas presents as they want - it's their business not mine.

But all this plastering of presents all over Facebook - it's like saying look at me and my fantastic life, if anything it shows how insecure these people are

I suppose it depends on your circumstances and what you use facebook for.

My children will be spending today and tomorrow with lots of family, but I can see how some people might want to see pictures of their relatives enjoying Christmas/the gift they sent if they are not going to see them in the flesh.

maman

ViolaLass wrote: »

e.g. a few years ago, my husband and I were living in a flat that was impossible to heat. My mother sent us an electric blanket after she heard how we were going to bed with all our clothes on and still feeling cold. She sent it in October - not because it was someone's birthday, nor did she save it for Christmas. She sent it to us because we needed it and we needed it then.

We still talk about how wonderful a present it was.

notanewuser wrote: »

We've done something similar. No gifts for adults.

We're a 'no presents for adults family' too. Nothing to do with the recession, just decided some years ago we were fed up with people buying 'stuff' just for the sake of it.

I like nothing more than the 'saw this and thought of you' type of gift. At any time of the year.

I'm no Scrooge and I'm enjoying Christmas but presents don't feature big for me. DH and I don't bother with presents or cards for each other any more. What we enjoy is seeing family and friends, sharing lots of lovely meals and a chance to recharge and reflect, count our blessings and make plans for the year ahead.

ViolaLass

jellyhead wrote: »

It's not 'lots' of presents, it's one stocking and one gift off Santa. If I just gave them all of this stuff all the time, what would I put in the stockings?

And that's where our fundamental difference is - it's not that I'm rich and would spend loads on fancy things, I just wouldn't do a stocking! I appreciate I may come across as a Scrooge but to me, Christmas isn't about the presents. I don't mind if I don't get any or get very few. I find the genuine presents more exciting, rather than the number.

shegirl

Goldiegirl wrote: »

People can spend as much or as little on Christmas presents as they want - it's their business not mine.

But all this plastering of presents all over Facebook - it's like saying look at me and my fantastic life, if anything it shows how insecure these people are

Really?

I disagree.As someone who posts up the presents under the tree pic,just as friends do.

It's not bragging.It's not 'look at me and my fanstic life'

What is REALLY is is parents,in their excitement,finishing their job as Santa for the night,standing back and taking a look at all their hard work put in one place,smiling and taking a photo feeling happy,proud and excited.

The photo is then usually shared along with a message,normally saying 'Santa has been' and something along the lines of 'Merry Christmas everyone' followed by relaxing,or in my case,heading off to bed because the work that you've been waiting to do all night has been done.

jellyhead

ViolaLass wrote: »

And that's where our fundamental difference is - it's not that I'm rich and would spend loads on fancy things, I just wouldn't do a stocking! I appreciate I may come across as a Scrooge but to me, Christmas isn't about the presents. I don't mind if I don't get any or get very few. I find the genuine presents more exciting, rather than the number.

I have a young child, so that's why we have stockings. Adults don't have them, but Santa brings them to children. The teenagers would be happy with just one present, but the youngest one would wonder why they didn't have a stocking. Stockings stop at age 18.

This year I've done stockings for 2 extra teenagers that I've taken in, and they've never had a stocking. The oldest one is only pretending to be excited about it, but the other one is genuinely thrilled to have something that she thinks she's missed out on in the past as being a part of christmas that other families have, and she never did.

ViolaLass

jellyhead wrote: »

This year I've done stockings for 2 extra teenagers that I've taken in, and they've never had a stocking. The oldest one is only pretending to be excited about it, but the other one is genuinely thrilled to have something that she thinks she's missed out on in the past as being a part of christmas that other families have, and she never did.

There's a fabulous reason for doing it - good on you.