Friend is going to be really hurt-what to do?

gfplux

As a man I am completely surprised by his attitude. Frankly it is shocking. Women are their worst enemy's allowing any man to get away with this.
Men do not change and he will treat her like this as long as he is with her.
However you can not live her life for her. She may have so little self esteem that she feels she deserves this type of treatment.
I hope she comes to her senses and kicks him out.
She is so lucky to have you as a friend but are you just prolonging her agony?

mrcow

shegirl wrote: »

I ASKED him if he was getting her the Pandora a while back,he seemed completely confused and had no idea what one was LMAO

So whose idea was it that she should get a bracelet? You're making it sound like it was your idea. He didn't even know what it was?

shegirl

mrcow wrote: »

So whose idea was it that she should get a bracelet? You're making it sound like it was your idea. He didn't even know what it was?

He did though as he told her he was getting it last year,that's the thing!I asked him if he was getting it and he had no idea what to get her.Lots of talk later and we done the deal on him getting the bracelet and me getting the charm because my friend was in a complete state

paulineb_2

Tbh, I think you are a fab friend

But, I also see the point about stepping back and letting him get on with it

One of my exes got me a 99p card one year, he just couldnt be bothered, when I realised he couldnt be bothered all year round, that was when I booted him into touch

Its up to her if she stays or goes, he really shouldnt need his arm twisted up his back to get her a decent present and by decent I dont mean expensive.

duchy

I do agree.
If you keep colluding with him to make sure she gets decent presents then she's going to take longer to have her lightbulb moment about what he is really like.She might get upset to get a rubbish present (or none at all) but in the long run it might save her thinking "Oh he has his faults but he DID buy me that lovely bracelet so he's not all bad and does "get me" really" when he patently doesn't.

Desperado99

gfplux wrote: »

As a man I am completely surprised by his attitude. Frankly it is shocking. Women are their worst enemy's allowing any man to get away with this.
Men do not change and he will treat her like this as long as he is with her.
However you can not live her life for her. She may have so little self esteem that she feels she deserves this type of treatment.
I hope she comes to her senses and kicks him out.
She is so lucky to have you as a friend but are you just prolonging her agony?

I agree with this. Be prepared for him to take all the credit and for her to gush about how fantastic a boyfriend he is for a while.


Don't get me wrong, I think you were right to remind him what he had promised and to push him into getting it...... but he sounds like a complete div at best and a worst a word that'd get censored on here.

shegirl

To be fair (and it's quite sad really) but she realises he had a push...but she's still happy that he actually did get it and ended up choosing which Pandora bracelet himself.

He's now saying he's going to buy her a charm a month:eek: we'll see!

mrcow

Shegirl - at least have you learned not to get involved in the future though? It's really between him and her. Next Christmas/birthday, he needs to do it (whatever "it" turns out to be) for himself.