Did your DH watch you pee on the stick to find out if pregnant?

Counting_Pennies_2

Thank you all, this is helpful.


Finding out I was pregnant for the first time was marred by the fact my DH took the news badly.


Not because I had become pregnant, we had tried for a couple of months, but because he felt he should have been there when I peed on the stick.


I went through two days of arguments with being uncertain whether he had done a u turn on his thinking of wanting children. Only to discover it was because he had not had any control over when we found out.


The way he went on and has done since, in his eyes it was an unforgiveable act on my part and frankly the bad memory has stuck with me, and he is adamant to this day I have done wrong by him.


I see all these joyous moments when the mum announces to the dad and I feel sad not to have this moment in my memory bank.

Richard53

I find that very sad. I'm all for equal rights for fathers and all that, but to me a woman has the right to find out what is happening to her body, and then to tell her partner in a way and at a time of her choosing. If you want to pee on the stick in front of him then fine, but most men would think that you deserved a bit of privacy for that bit.

I hope you can talk it over together and bring him round. It doesn't sound a great start to parenthood, to be honest.

claire16c

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Thank you all, this is helpful.


Finding out I was pregnant for the first time was marred by the fact my DH took the news badly.


Not because I had become pregnant, we had tried for a couple of months, but because he felt he should have been there when I peed on the stick.
as in literally in the room with you or say outside waiting?

I went through two days of arguments with being uncertain whether he had done a u turn on his thinking of wanting children. Only to discover it was because he had not had any control over when we found out.
you didn't understand each other for 2 whole days? How is that possible?

The way he went on and has done since, in his eyes it was an unforgiveable act on my part and frankly the bad memory has stuck with me, and he is adamant to this day I have done wrong by him.
sounds like he needs to get a grip there are more important things going on in the world!

I see all these joyous moments when the mum announces to the dad and I feel sad not to have this moment in my memory bank.

Sorry your OH sounds really odd. I mean really who cares how you told him, as long as it wasn't kept a secret for ages or something under hand etc surely he should just be pleased you are pregnant?

You should remind him plenty of people are desperate to have a baby and if this is his main concern he needs to get over himself.

This_Year

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Thank you all, this is helpful.


Finding out I was pregnant for the first time was marred by the fact my DH took the news badly.


Not because I had become pregnant, we had tried for a couple of months, but because he felt he should have been there when I peed on the stick.


I went through two days of arguments with being uncertain whether he had done a u turn on his thinking of wanting children. Only to discover it was because he had not had any control over when we found out.


The way he went on and has done since, in his eyes it was an unforgiveable act on my part and frankly the bad memory has stuck with me, and he is adamant to this day I have done wrong by him.


I see all these joyous moments when the mum announces to the dad and I feel sad not to have this moment in my memory bank.

Sorry that he's taking this attitude. I have to ask: how will he respond when baby does something new and he's not there to see it?

Like a first tooth, rolling over, first step, first word - there's so many things that babies do when one or both parents aren't there to see.

Or if you go into labour when he's not around - will he sulk for 2 days then? This does not sound good, I'm sorry to say.

Birdie85

We were trying for about a year and a half so the excitement of taking tests was well and truly gone by the time I got pregnant! On the day I got a positive test I'd been awake at 2am with a hangover (thought my period was starting as there'd been some spotting the day before so drank a lot of rum! ) and I had a funny feeling so did a test which came up pretty faint, tried to sleep on the sofa for a few hours then did another test and woke DH up with the good news, he had no idea that I was thinking about testing as I'd been complaining that we were out for another month!

He liked me doing the digital tests to see that the weeks were going up over the following couple of weeks but just waited in the living room whilst I actually did the tests. I have a shy bladder so there's no way I'd have been able to pee on a stick with him watching!

Counting Pennies, your OH needs to get a grip! Sorry, but he just does. He's going to spend the entire pregnancy in a sulk if he doesn't accept that this is happening to your body, not his, and you were well within your rights to check what was happening first without having to pee on a stick in front of him! With a baby you just have to give up control to a degree, good that he learns that sooner rather than later!

This_Year

Birdie85 wrote: »

With a baby you just have to give up control to a degree, good that he learns that sooner rather than later!

Yes, there's lots of books about babycare but the babies just don't read them!

I do hope that he gets over his snit as this is should be such a fabulous exciting time for you both!

Nicki

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Thank you all, this is helpful.


Finding out I was pregnant for the first time was marred by the fact my DH took the news badly.


.

Your first child is 9 or 10 now? Is your OH still giving you grief more than 10 years after the event, or are you still upset 10 years later that he didn't react well initially all those years ago?

If the latter, maybe time to let go and forgive him, as all it seems to be doing is make you unhappy.

This_Year

Oh! I thought this was a recent happening.

Looking back though other posts, your OH seems like a control freak.

claire16c

This_Year wrote: »

Oh! I thought this was a recent happening.

Looking back though other posts, your OH seems like a control freak.

I just had a very quick look and now Im reminded that the OP's OH is the guy who just wanted to 'get his leg over' at Christmas.

So this doesn't surprise me now. Sounds like a miserable g*t in all aspects.

heartbreak_star

If my OH wanted to watch me pee for any reason at all, I'd find it odd.

Does he think you'll do some sort of test-switching between going into the bathroom and coming out?

HBS x