Desperate, desperate situation with no help

determined_new_ms

Op sorry you have found yourself in this situation. Firstly I just want to say running out of money does not make you inadequate or a failure as a parent. Kids won't remember these things and you have had good advice about wrapping up, quilts, hot water bottles. Your son will survive this without any ill effect. Importantly though you need to remain strong and positive, that is what your child needs from you more than anything. As parents they need us to be resilient and able to face the challenges that life sends us. I spent years feeling inadequate as a parent and it has a knock on effect on everyone.

Once you are through this you then need to look at your budget. I think Firewyn's advice is sound. She is being a little direct, but having read her posts for years I know it is without malice. She has practiced what she is preaching!

I agree you could slash your grocery spends to £150 with very careful planning and thought. You could even get wipes and nappies with this. Do you have an aldi near you? Their nappies rate high is feedback - nearly as good as pampers and depending on your little ones size you can get a months worth for £12-18. My dgd is 6 months and we buy 3x 48 packs for £12 a month.

Spend some time on the old style board, there is a great thread about a family who found themselves with £40 for food for a month after expenditure and the op rose to the challenge and made it through the month. The thread is from 2008 so price have rose(!) but there is a lot to learn learn from it:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2116179

also check out the website agirlcalledjack.com for "living below the breadline" recipes. I have made several of them and can certainly vouch for how good they are. she spends £10pw for food for herself and her toddler - a bit extreme for me but she does it and got through some really hard times (incidentally Firewyn posted this link ages ago. One of my regular blogs now)

you'll get through this I promise. Christmas day it will all be a distant memory and you will be enjoying your little one. Take care & stay strong x

glasgowsaver2011

sacha28 wrote: »

Oh sorry forgot to mention, Wonga were named on the DRO and the continuous payment authorisation was cancelled so that's how I managed to sort that one out.
Also have you considered taking out a crisis loan from the DWP? You don't have to be on benefit and you pay the loan back monthly with no interest. They don't start taking repayments until they feel you are in a better position too. I did it last year when SMP kicked in and I was left with £50 for 4 weeks and they were amazing. HTH.

Hate to be judges but its not th first time the op has been in this mess

sacha28

glasgowsaver2011 wrote: »

Hate to be judges but its not th first time the op has been in this mess

I think you'll find that that was this time last year, as mentioned in a pp of mine in this thread, before the DRO was taken out. As I said, we have been managing things much better since the DRO was put into place.

I thank everybody from the bottom of my heart for all the the kind PM's, the kind words, and sound advice. My closest friend has come to my rescue and put some credit on our meters.

Only tomorrow to go and we will be able to exhale relief!

I am genuinely touched by how thoughtful people can be (also a little shocked at how judgemental people can be too) and have just got in from work and read my PM's with a tear in my eye. None of you know my family but have put yourselves out there to try and help.

I am thankful that my little boy has no idea of the mess I have got us into and I will do everything in my power to make sure we aren't ever in this position again. It has not been a good place to be financially or emotionally. The thought of failing my son breaks my heart and I don't want to ever do that again.

Again, thank you all so so much, I am beyond touched.......sending out lots of hugs and kisses xxxxxx

Growurown

Hi Sasha, pleased you got yourselves sorted, it must be such a relief, and hope your little one is recovering from his chest infection. Hope you can enjoy Christmas now with your family.

buffster_2

sacha28 wrote: »

I am part of unison, have been from day 1, are they able to help with things like this?!

Your UNISON branch will have a Welfare Officer. Contact them and explain the situation. They'll want to see documents such as bills, receipts etc that support your claims though. They ask for this just to be sure they're giving money to genuine cases.


Depending on the situation, sometimes they pay bills, sometimes they give vouchers for supermarkets, sometimes it's cash. Just depends.


But definitely give them a call, as your union subs also go towards things like this.

Sazzie23

Hey Sacha

Best thanks you could give us would be to let us know, a) that you are OK and b) joins us for some of the challenges to see if we can help you get your budgeting under control ?

merry Christmas