Desperate, desperate situation with no help

quidsy

If your hair is really long you could sell it for wig making, upside is you get a free cut and style at the same time.

FireWyrm

paulineb wrote: »

Nothing of value to sell, heres the post.

They sold the TV? How about the jewellery, the microwave, the stereo, any mobile phones, the laptops, hell, the radio is worth something. They need little more than £20...there must be something to sell and Im betting there is if they look hard enough.

sacha28

Hi guys, thank you all so much for all comments, good and advisory.

I understand about the whole budgeting thing, I have downloaded an app to help me see where we're going wrong. As I said in a pp, we have been caught out by a difference in wages from previous months, and the fact that our car broke. I wouldn't be so bothered about the car if I didn't have lo but I can't walk him the 2 miles to nursery at 6.30am when the weather is like this. When I work my nights I walk so my OH can drop lo to nursery, I have no issue with walking and could really do with losing some weight

We had been doing so well since entering the DRO, found that we were getting through (sometimes by the skin of our teeth, others nicely) but this is the first time we have had such a big difference in our wages.

CSA is done by ATE, my OH's pay doesn't show this, I'm sorry I forgot to put that in.

We have been trying to budget more tightly, hence why we, wrongly, believed that pre-payment meters would be a good idea. I suppose that came back to bite my behind as OH was against the idea

sacha28

FireWyrm wrote: »

They sold the TV? How about the jewellery, the microwave, the stereo, any mobile phones, the laptops, hell, the radio is worth something. They need little more than £20...there must be something to sell and Im betting there is if they look hard enough.

I don't wear jewellery, the laptop I'm using is one I have got through work and is not mine to sell, our mobiles are both broken (screens) thanks to our lo's obsession with throwing them and we don't own a radio. At the moment the microwave has been our only source of cooking so I wouldn't really want to bite off my nose to spite my face by selling that.

We sold the surf boards, his dd bike, his bike, my bike, our old car, my ipod, my tumble dryer, old clothes. There really is nothing left of value in our house. Some people may find that difficult to believe but this time last year we were in such a mess that we HAD to sell as much as we could.

FireWyrm

sacha28 wrote: »

I understand about the whole budgeting thing, I have downloaded an app to help me see where we're going wrong.

A job for over christmas when you are more stable. Forget it at the moment, you are in no state to concentrate. After Christmas get your account printouts for the last 3 months, go through them and figure out where every penny is going. Once you know that, you can formulate a plan. Until you have that plan and over the Xmas period, every penny is a prisoner and you need to question every spend no matter how small.

sacha28 wrote: »

As I said in a pp, we have been caught out by a difference in wages from previous months, and the fact that our car broke. I wouldn't be so bothered about the car if I didn't have lo but I can't walk him the 2 miles to nursery at 6.30am when the weather is like this.


When I work my nights I walk so my OH can drop lo to nursery, I have no issue with walking and could really do with losing some weight

Second hand bike?

sacha28 wrote: »

We had been doing so well since entering the DRO, found that we were getting through (sometimes by the skin of our teeth, others nicely) but this is the first time we have had such a big difference in our wages.

Now you know what can happen, you know to plan for this contingency again. We've all been there. You have no idea what my finances looked like not 12 months ago. We stumbled from one disaster to the next and busting the overdraft was common.

sacha28 wrote: »

We have been trying to budget more tightly, hence why we, wrongly, believed that pre-payment meters would be a good idea. I suppose that came back to bite my behind as OH was against the idea

Prepayment meters do work, but you have to be far more realistic about how much energy is used. You can buy inexpensive meters from the internet and watch where the spikes are and what is causing them. Go round the house and turn EVERYTHING you dont need and isnt actively contributing to your life, right off at the wall. When you are stable, if you have them, rip out hallogen bulbs and put LEDs in - it'll save you hundreds a year, I kid you not. Fit energy saving bulbs everywhere, turn off lights, turn off appliances etc. There are guides on the internet, you just need to follow them.

shop-to-drop

What about your/OH parents? Can they help? Can you ask for £20 now as a present for Xmas?

FireWyrm

sacha28 wrote: »

I don't wear jewellery, the laptop I'm using is one I have got through work and is not mine to sell, our mobiles are both broken (screens) thanks to our lo's obsession with throwing them and we don't own a radio. At the moment the microwave has been our only source of cooking so I wouldn't really want to bite off my nose to spite my face by selling that.

We sold the surf boards, his dd bike, his bike, my bike, our old car, my ipod, my tumble dryer, old clothes. There really is nothing left of value in our house. Some people may find that difficult to believe but this time last year we were in such a mess that we HAD to sell as much as we could.

Ok, so you have nothing left (you didnt mention selling the TV) but to hunker down and wait it out. The energy company wont help you, they have no obligation and realistically speaking, why should they. That's not what you want to hear, but it is the truth. What you need to do then is earn the money...can you do part time or evenings in a shop? There are Xmas shifts going all over the place. Is there something you can make and sell? Some skill you have that you can swap? Failing that, nothing else you can do but wait it out.

When you are stable again, THAT is the time to do something about it and make sure it never happens again. Your last crisis woke you up, this one slaps you in the face and gets you going in the right direction for good and always. If you keep the DRO and then work even harder on your finances (and there is space to improve) you will not only pull out of this but never experience it again.

In terms of improvement, your grocery spend seem inordinately high for a small family. I feed 5 for £250 a month.

RAS

sacha28 wrote: »

I don't wear jewellery, the laptop I'm using is one I have got through work and is not mine to sell, our mobiles are both broken (screens) thanks to our lo's obsession with throwing them and we don't own a radio. At the moment the microwave has been our only source of cooking so I wouldn't really want to bite off my nose to spite my face by selling that.

We sold the surf boards, his dd bike, his bike, my bike, our old car, my ipod, my tumble dryer, old clothes. There really is nothing left of value in our house. Some people may find that difficult to believe but this time last year we were in such a mess that we HAD to sell as much as we could.

Hi

At the most basic, can you

1. Go round the place and check all the pockets in all clothes? And check down the back of sofas, under the seats of the car etc. You may be lucky.

2. Find out where your local food bank is. They may be open tomorrow and be able to supply no cook food.

sacha28

I couldn't possibly work a PT job on top of a FT job, with a child that doesn't sleep, plus when I'm at home OH is working so who will look after lo (for free)?

A typical week for me.....Saturday + Sunday 8-6, monday 8pm-8.30am, wednesday 8am-8.30pm. Where can I fit in another job?

helencal80

I know its not ideal and someone else may have mentioned it, but if you are in a desperate situation you can actually borrow a small amount from Social Services in most areas. I know someone that has done it and didn't have a social worker prior to it and also didn't have to endure any enquiries etc after, but all areas are different. Just a thought, I know what it's like!