Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

Chrysalis1976

Has hubby seen the Interest compared to the payment to show it in black and white, maybe this will spur him on to call?

Hope they respond to the letter in a positive way.

C x

JustAboutThere

StressedSteph wrote: »

How do you deal with jealousy?? and by Jealousy, I mean me being jealous of other people .

I've been cleaning the house all day, and during scrubbing the toilets, I received a text message from one of my best friends.It was one of those messages that pretend to be asking how you are, but are really just a way to tell you their latest news. .

I am already abit sad about this friend as she lives about 20 minutes away from me, but we go back a long way. Well the last few years she has made a friend that lives round the corner from her and they seem to be in each others pockets. I don't get to see her much anymore because she works full-time and it seems any spare time she does have is filled with the new friend she has round the corner. They have friends in the same school and share babysitting etc, so its easy for her. But it does make me feel abit left out in the cold .

Well she text me this afternoon and said that she was off looking at ponies today with the new friend because her friend was looking for a replacement pony for her daughter. She then said that she was also thinking of renting her friends old pony from her for her daughter.

I don't know if any of this is making sense and I put the phone back in my pocket and carried on cleaning, but it wasn't until an hour or so later that I recognised that I was now feeling in a bad mood and that it was because I felt jealous of my friend.

Jealous because I feel that I am not needed by her anymore because what little spare time she has is easily filled by the new friend, and also jealous because she is renting a pony for her daughter, which I could never dream of affording at the moment.

I KNOW this is all really silly, I have plenty of other good friends so not overly sure why I am letting this bother me so much.

Think I just need to buck up and stop being silly.

I just wondered how you guys dealt with jealousy over friends telling you about their new purchases etc?


Re-reading this makes me sound 18 now 38, but I will commit to posting it as its how I have felt today.

You're completely normal to feel this way - just keep telling yourself (the truth) that (a) your family and friends love you for who you are; and (b) having a horse or a pony isn't the 'norm' for the majority of the population.

I know there are a fair few horse owners on the forum but, really - its not a requirement. Plenty of us got through our childhoods without having one, myself included.

It could also be a sadness that you're recognising your friendship is no longer close and almost grieving for that. Sometimes you just have to accept that whilst some friendships are great at the time, due to circumstances they do sometimes fade away.

Anyway, think of it this way - if she does get the pony, she'll be the one who has to muck out (at least some of the time) Makes your scrubbing of the toilets fade into comparison. The phrase mountains and molehills come to mind (yes, I'm evil).

Take care.

mfmaybe

Just popping in as I've been awol for ages. Steph, someone once gave me a brilliant piece of advice regarding jealousy, and it was in the sphere or true green eyed monster from me - ie why some people can get pregnant so easily, and 3 cycles of IVF later I still can't. The advice was

"If you are going to be jealous of someone, you have to be jealous of their whole life".

It works every time. Either I wouldn't want their husband, or I don't like their home as much as mine, or their job isn't as interesting as mine, or their mother in law is awful etc etc . Remember you don't know everything that goes on behind closed doors, or what sacrifices they might be making for that pony. Plus, as someone said there are a lot of horsey people on here, me included, and that's no coincidence. They are ridiculously expensive to keep :eek:.

Hope Tesco play ball, but in the meantime, another awesome month on the debt busting.

eco_farmer

hi, couple of thoughts regarding Tesco's, firstly work out how many hours DH has to work to pay the £78 and tell him it may help encourage him to call. secondly if Tesco's won't play ball then perhaps you should consider tackling it after Next is obliterated. I realise it is one of the biggest but £78 a month adds up to nearly 1K over a full year if you were to leave it.

StressedSteph

Thank you so much for all your replies. There is no way hubby will make that call, we have argued about it enough in the past :mad:Fingers crossed I will get some response via letters.


It might be worth trying to tackle the Tesco debt next although it is a scarily large one. I was hoping that by the time I had paid off all the smaller ones then I would be making such huge monthly payments against it that it wouldn't feel so painful. Would be hard to tackle it now.
Think I will carry on as I am in the hope I get some response from them.


Got two more debt payments to make next week and then I am done for April.


I am really pleased that I am still here 6 months on. Think I would normally have given up by now. .
Its nice now though as really starting to see the snowball gather momentum and making decent strides into the debt.


Can't believe in May I will be aiming for getting under 15.5k :T
That's the lowest it has been in many years.


Onwards and upwards xx

fern44

Hi I still read your diary you are doing really well I think you will make it this time !
just wondered if it was possible for you to sell from your home
a lot of people round me have honesty boxes and sell a few eggs
surplus veg home grown plants etc. some of these have ended up as farm shops !!!
just keep chipping away at the Tesco cc if you cut it down by half the interest will only be £35 ish I am sure you will come up with a plan though I would suggest to hubby he needs to find you some good ebaying items.

mummytogirls

Hi Steph,

Only just managed to find your new diary for some reason!!

Hope you get a response from Mr T's, I agree you are doing this in the best interests of your family and if DH wont then you have to!

Keep on with your mini goals, youre doing really well xx

StressedSteph

Thanks so much Fern and mummytogirls


Think I might be doing a car boot sale with a friend on one of the May Bank Holidays. I don't have enough to do it on my own, but splitting the cost with a friend will work great. I have a lot of items that are either too fragile or too low cost to bother Ebaying which will work great at a car boot.


Just paid the dreaded mortgage. so that's this weeks money sorted out, no room for debt repayments unfortunately .


I do have some craft orders I need to crack on with as they are a source of income. Just need to get going. Don't really know what's stopping me. Think I am still recovering from the Easter holiday chaos.


ok need to get motivated somehow. I have a million and one jobs to do but I dither about and then suddenly its the end of the day and very little has been achieved. I hate mess and chaos but seem to perpetuate it for some reason :mad:.


I have tried online diaries and also paper ones which just don't work.


Think I might do a printed A4 schedule and stick it on the wall. This might keep me on track.


Do any of you that work from home struggle with Time Management??

Chrysalis1976

Hi steph, I work at home quite often tracking files which is really tedious some days I don't even know how to begin but what I do is set myself the task of completing a file then go off and do a job in the house and then work it like that to break up the boredom and also to get myself moving about.

I also put on the radio to cheer me up.

Well done on paying the mortgage.

C x

debtfreewannabe321

Glad you made the mortgage payment I'm on count down to pay day really so willing the month to go quickly now

I hope you got some work done! When I was working from home I would make myself a schedule because i'm so lazy I would never have got anything done (well I say lazy......I would do the housework, dinner, etc etc and avoid work ) so I would do short bursts of work and have breaks to do housework or have a rest in between. xx