Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

chanie

I have two thoughts about 'jealously', it doesn't make it go away, but it may help:

Life cycles: there are times when you will be worse off than your friends and times when you will be better off and I guess we have to remember and accept it. For example, when I met OH, he was living with his mum, having left a long term relationship and was working in a low paid job. His best mate had his own house, wife and children. Within a few years, the best friend was bankrupt, lost the house and marriage broke down. OH on the hand, is now in a happy relationship with me, we have a mortgage and two children. I've recently heard of horrible things happen to people I know, so I'm trying to wish happiness to everyone as it can get taken away so quickly.

The grass isn't always greener: I have a relative who took a job in another country - she has a nice big house, comfortable income etc. However, she is away from her support network, her mum is suffering from ill health and her in laws are useless. I don't have her money, but I do have our family around,which I guess is something you can't buy.

I hope this helps Steph. Chin up, you,are doing so well!!!!

Ciaerda

I think it is a natural feeling that we all feel from time to time.

My sil has a massive house goes on really expensive holidays and always seem to have the latest gadgets. She is always going on about how much money she has:mad:, which is great when she must know that we couldn't even get close to what she has, however, the other day she said that she is never satisfied she constantly has to have the next big thing and is always working out how she is going to achieve this she is exhausted because of it and that (get this) she only wishes she was more like me who is content with not much (she could have been taken the p**s) but I don't care I am a firm believer that health and happiness is best and I am content with not a lot (which is probably just as well) so long as I have my family (she also told me how much her mortgage was which made me smile - it was alot:eek:)

Keep smiling Steph you will probably find that she is feeling the same about you:)

Magsnoodle

Hiya Steph,

I get this one a lot about friends I have who move on without me. I think though the comment about life cycles is right and sometimes people who were incredibly important in our lives at one point become less so as our paths toss and turn.

You are doing brilliantly xxx

StressedSteph

Thanks for all your kind words. I'm not normally an overly jealous person. Just an off day I guess. Its hard work constantly watching the pennies and resisting tempation constantly, guess it just caught me of guard.

Hope you all had a lovely Easter. One more day to go then my normal routine can commence.

Take care all x

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh Steph. It sucks really. I saw my friend last week, we have been mates for about 10 years now and I love her dearly.


She has however made a judgement re me and my career such as it is. She and her hubby have a mental amount of money, holiday 4 or 5 times a year. She thinks I am stupid (!) not to chase money and promotion. (I grant you this is situation is a lot longer than yours sounds but am here now rambling like a loon!) When we met last week she asked me how I was and I said am generally good, work's hard am skint but ok. Her reply was Skint? you are always skint. It's your own fault.


Then she proceeded to tell me that she could give up work and not have to worry if things didn't go as planned.


Now I love her very much but it took a good half an hour to quell the jealously beast! and resist violence! well a snarky comment at least.


As another poster says, at different times things are different for people. I just constantly tell myself that I am on my path they are on their path.


sorry for the overshare! just wanted you to know you aren't the only one who has these moments of random resentment.




I still think you are impressive and at least you didn't tell your friend were she can shove her pony


XXX

wantabetterlife

am laughing at your post buffy about the violence..lol. We are all just human Steph and money really does not equal happiness or any where near it...try to remember this. Sometimes it is easy to forget, but the things that make us truly happy cannot be bought with any amount of money

maddiemay

Hi Steph,
Just caught up with a couple of day's posts. Sometimes these things just catch us at a low point don't they? You are doing so well and others have been very supportive, keep hanging on in there. One day soon when all the debt is cleared you will have the last laugh:A
MM
xx

StressedSteph

Afternoon all


Thank you so much everyone and especially buffy. It is very comforting to know that I am not the only one who sometimes has less than generous feeling towards others who happen to be doing better than I am at this current moment.


Think it is mostly about the jealously over losing my friend to someone else, but there isn't much I can do about that and will have to suck it up .


Made two more minimum payments to debts today. £100 to Co-op and £121.55 to Tesco CC.


That's means I have met my April Mini-Goal of getting under 16.5k and nearly met my 1k debt repayment target.
Still got two more debt repayments to make this month so should get there.


Also please to see I have now paid 40% of my 10k target for 2014. (I have coloured in my little squares hehe)


Not much else to report really. Children have gone back to school and I am trying to catch up with house cleaning and washing, so that I can get out in the garden later in the week.


Got sooo much weeding to do its ridiculous.


We had a lovely day on the Beach yesterday enjoying the sunshine. Was a great way to spend the last day of the holidays.


Back to the old routine now

StressedSteph

Just a little update.


I have just been cursing my Tesco CC statement.


This is the only debt I haven't yet been able to get as 0% interest as it is in hubby name and any time I have mentioned him calling them to ask for reduced payments and frozen interest he has flatly refused out of embarrassment I think.


The bank statement shows £130 paid £78 interest :eek:
Over half of what I am paying is disappearing in interest :mad:


So I have decided to try writing to them from hubby. Slightly dishonest of me but only being done in our family best interest.


I have requested that they only contact us through the post.


fingers crossed I get a reply.

debtfreewannabe321

Hi Steph!

Good luck with getting them to agree to a lower rate with hubby's card. I've done similar things with my DH's debts before now he refuses to call and ask for things (grrr)!

As for the green eyed monster......you're only human I have so many friends that are better off than me (and a few that aren't but they don't bother me as much ) and I admit to deleting a few "show-offs" on fb before now I was sick of hearing about holidays, perfect family life, new cars, second houses etc etc !!! I know that people only really put the good stuff on fb and the rest is left out but I got so fed up they were gone at the click of a button and I feel much better now