Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

StressedSteph

Morning,


Glad you guys don't mind the farming muttering in between my debt busting. Not much else goes on in my life so I would be abit stuck on what to talk about .


Balanced YNAB against bank statement today. All ticking on. I am making more of an effort to set spare cash aside to go towards the mortgage rather than pay a debt or just allocate to more future direct debits. During this period of uncertainty with hubbys work, I think its best to prioritise the mortgage and worry about debts last. Nothing too terrible will happen is I don't pay my credit card one month, but would HATE to not pay my mortgage.


Got my little two hour cleaning job this morning, the old lady was so sweet last week and told me off for working 5 minutes over. I really wanted to get a large window cleaned an finished. I wasn't about to stop work at 11.30 and leave it half done. she said she wants me to finish at 11.20 from now on so we can have 10 minutes to chat. Bless her, I think she likes the company as much as the cleaning help.


TMI Warning - Aunt Flo should be visiting end of this week, and if you have read my recent post you will know that I get very slightly unbalanced on the build up to it. I have made a definite effort (the lambs have helped), to keep busy this week and get outside in the fresh air.


Monday was all about collecting the lambs and getting things ready for them, yesterday I sowed seeds in the veg plot and did some weeding along with 4 spaced out feeds to the lambs.


I got up at 7am this morning and gave the lambs a feed, put the bins out and got all the breakfasts out and packed lunches sorted. when I get back from cleaning, I will have a rest and some lunch, feed the lambs again, let the geese out (Keeping them in when I am not home because of the fox problems). Then I plan to do abit more gardening, along with prepare dinner and tidy around the house a little.


I am finding that keeping busy improves my state of mind. I am too scared to sit and watch a programme on the tv in case my mood drops and I end up sat there all day and over thinking.


Not much else to report. Hoping I don't injure myself this week cleaning. Two weeks ago the hoover fell and gave me a large scrape on my hand. Last week she was having problems with a sticky substance on her kitchen floor and without me realising I had given myself a massive burst blister from mopping so vigorously .


Had better go get ready. Speak to you all later. xxxx

mfmaybe

I've often found keeping busy and active (and often, just outside) cures many of my problems. I get something I call "inside head" if I don't spend enough time outdoors - a sort of foggy blurry headache and a real apathy. I didn't suffer too badly from PMS as such, but keeping the endorphins going will definitely help. And the sight of lambs frolicking can't help but lift your spirits :rotfl:

You're doing really well, and remember paying off your mortgage is still paying off debt!

sweetpea26

I rarely get a blister from mopping Steph

You work very hard and you deserve your wee lambs. I was outside most of yesterday in the garden and it done me the world of good. Fresh air is the best tonic we can get. How many geese do you have?

StressedSteph

mfmaybe wrote: »

I've often found keeping busy and active (and often, just outside) cures many of my problems. I get something I call "inside head" if I don't spend enough time outdoors - a sort of foggy blurry headache and a real apathy. I didn't suffer too badly from PMS as such, but keeping the endorphins going will definitely help. And the sight of lambs frolicking can't help but lift your spirits :rotfl:

You're doing really well, and remember paying off your mortgage is still paying off debt!

Hi mfmaybe


I am finding if I can just get enough motivation to go outside to do a small job then it leads onto other jobs and before I know it I have done a couple of hours pottering and feel great.
Having the lambs is perfect as I have to get outside four times a day to do that.
I am also having to get up a lot earlier for their first feed which starts my day well.


Who knew that all I needed was some lambs hahaha


Yes I guess mortgage is still a debt being paid, haven't dared think about that as a debt yet.


Hope you are having a good week xxx

sweetpea26 wrote: »

I rarely get a blister from mopping Steph

You work very hard and you deserve your wee lambs. I was outside most of yesterday in the garden and it done me the world of good. Fresh air is the best tonic we can get. How many geese do you have?

Glad getting outside is helping you too Sweetpea. It can only get better as the days warm up and get longer.


Can't wait xxx

StressedSteph

Morning.


Blissful day to myself today.


I am expecting a phone call at 11am from a woman at CAMHS. I applied to go on a 18 week course (1 session per week) to help me with strategies to help my Ds. Not sure if how I react to Ds's behaviour at home can overly impact how he behaves at school, but I can only try I suppose. I was supposed to drive 1,1/2 hours to meet with the organiser today but to be brutally honest I couldn't afford the fuel for the car. It would easily cost me £30 in Diesel. So I made a naughty excuse up this morning and said Dd had been sick and could we have the meeting over the phone. . Terrible lie really, but you have to get inventive sometimes when you have no bloomin money .


Ds's behaviour isn't terrible don't get me wrong. At home he can be abit stroppy if he doesn't get his own way and needs asking a good 5 times before he actually starts to do what you have asked, but not sure if that isn't much different to other 10 year olds.


Its a school we have issues, he gets distracted incredibly easily, he then hasn't listened to instructions from the teacher and then sometimes distracts others as he doesn't know what he is meant to do. He also seems to act quite childish sometimes which I think causes issues with his peers and I think he often takes a joke too far or gets too involved in petty issues and then attract negative attention and gets bullied.


All the things in school frustrate me because I feel I can't help/control anything that goes on once he is there.


Oh well just another motherly hurdle to deal with I guess.


So.... I am going to clean around the house until that phone call is done as worried I will forget the time and miss it.
Then I will feed the lambs again and do abit of work in the veg plot.


I really need to start working on the garden around the house too, loads of dead weeds need tackling. Always so much to be done.


Will stop waffling now. Have a great day xx

kelpie35

Hi Steph

This is just my thoughts so please don't be offended.

Has the school suggested any tests that could be done for your DS.

From what you are describing he sounds a bit like how my son behaved in nursery and school.

This is almost 20 years ago and I had to fight to get him tested by a paediatrician dealing with child issues.

The end result was that he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.

School life was horrendous for him. Teachers did not understand his needs. He was severely bullied throughout his school life.

The only advice I can offer you is to make rules very simple for him. Strict boundaries with simple consequences if not followed.

Don't let him see he stresses you out, you are the person in control. You have not done anything wrong with how you are bring up your children, so please don't take anything personally.

Hope you get the support you need from the person phoning you.

Take care x

StressedSteph

kelpie35 wrote: »

Hi Steph

This is just my thoughts so please don't be offended.

Has the school suggested any tests that could be done for your DS.

From what you are describing he sounds a bit like how my son behaved in nursery and school.

This is almost 20 years ago and I had to fight to get him tested by a paediatrician dealing with child issues.

The end result was that he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.

School life was horrendous for him. Teachers did not understand his needs. He was severely bullied throughout his school life.

The only advice I can offer you is to make rules very simple for him. Strict boundaries with simple consequences if not followed.

Don't let him see he stresses you out, you are the person in control. You have not done anything wrong with how you are bring up your children, so please don't take anything personally.

Hope you get the support you need from the person phoning you.

Take care x

Hi Kelpie


Thanks for replying.


I have had tests on Ds. He had a Ed Psyc come into school and ran some tests, I also went via his Dr when he was 8 and he was tested for ADD. He apparently came on the spectrum for a few things but nothing definite enough for a proper diagnosis.


I have struggled over the years as hubby doesn't see the gain in getting him "Labeled" but as much as I agree with him, I also find that without a "Label" he doesn't get any help.


The school do try to help him, he has one to one a few times a week to help keep him focused on the task at hand and he has a session once a week with a kind TA who seems to get him to play games and just chat at the same time. This frustrated me a little in the beginning as it felt like a personal slight against my capabilities as every bedtime we have a time where I ask Ds if he wants to chat about anything, and I always promise not to tell him off or moan at him about anything he tells me so he feels he can be open about everything. But the school thinks that half an hour a week to sound off about his troubles with friends etc has helped him.


Its hard to know what to do beyond this, as a mother you just want to do your best. I don't want to look back and think I should have done more.


Sorry you had such a fight to get your son some help, its tough to get help now so heaven knows how hard it was 20 years ago.



No one ever said it was easy to raise these children I suppose

Eager_Elephant

Steph, my daughter is 12 and she is easily distracted by anything and everything. She is at high school now and has made new friends and the teachers keep moving them around so they are not with people who distract them.


She is a moody mare at home but I think that is because she is hitting puberty. We have some super strops!!


I think boys are even more likely to be distracted - how lovely of the TA to take time out with him.


I too am loving the farming talk, we will be getting lambs again this year (not orphans as we don't have time to feed them) to grow on.


Plus last night I went to a local smallholders meeting and accidentally ordered 2 piglets - they will be ready next month!!!


We may also be getting an allotment, these are right next to our field so am hoping the pigs can visit at weekends to clear our plot!!


It was so lovely to get up our field last Sunday when it was warm and start clearing the ditch of all the branches from when the wind took down the trees. We are planning more this Saturday plus of course the vegetable patch in the garden needs digging over and DH needs to fix the greenhouse.


It's all go out here in the country!! Glad you are able to get out in the fresh air.


Quickly adding how shocked I am at the cost of egg laying hens - up here in Suffolk we have to pay £7.50 per bird but if you order more than 10 you get a discount of 50p per bird. We will be getting more this year as we are down to 8 birds and that is not enough to keep up with the demand in egg sales.

StressedSteph

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Steph, my daughter is 12 and she is easily distracted by anything and everything. She is at high school now and has made new friends and the teachers keep moving them around so they are not with people who distract them.


She is a moody mare at home but I think that is because she is hitting puberty. We have some super strops!!


I think boys are even more likely to be distracted - how lovely of the TA to take time out with him.


I too am loving the farming talk, we will be getting lambs again this year (not orphans as we don't have time to feed them) to grow on.


Plus last night I went to a local smallholders meeting and accidentally ordered 2 piglets - they will be ready next month!!!


We may also be getting an allotment, these are right next to our field so am hoping the pigs can visit at weekends to clear our plot!!


It was so lovely to get up our field last Sunday when it was warm and start clearing the ditch of all the branches from when the wind took down the trees. We are planning more this Saturday plus of course the vegetable patch in the garden needs digging over and DH needs to fix the greenhouse.


It's all go out here in the country!! Glad you are able to get out in the fresh air.


Quickly adding how shocked I am at the cost of egg laying hens - up here in Suffolk we have to pay £7.50 per bird but if you order more than 10 you get a discount of 50p per bird. We will be getting more this year as we are down to 8 birds and that is not enough to keep up with the demand in egg sales.

Hi EE


Fab a new farming friend :T.


I don't blame you not getting the orphan lambs. I am already really tired from the late night and early morning feeds.


We are always super broke so have to get animals the cheapest way possible.


Fab you have a smallholding club, I am very jealous. I know there is one in Somerset but it is quite a long way away from me. I have never managed to find a Dorset club (Maybe I should start one )


We want to get some pigs later in the Spring. I am very tempted to buy 2 gilts and a boar Gloucester Old Spot and start breeding, rather than just the weaners we grow on for meat. I haven't committed to any breeding stock other than poultry so far so its a big step. Just worried they will turn the whole field into a mud bath. Its quite nice just getting weaners every year as just as they have wrecked their paddock we send them off.


Your hens are really cheap up in Suffolk. Hopefully I manage to incubate some hens and we will eat the cockerels, bar one for breeding. 24 eggs costs me £18 which is only the price of 1 and a bit hens down here.


I am also hoping to incubate some goose eggs this year, didn't have any luck last spring, but I did let the eggs get abit too dirty in their house so that may be why. (*Must muck out more often ) I will be more vigilant this year and hopefully will breed a replacement girlie for the loss of Lucy to the fox.


I must hunt out your diary EE so I can follow your farming adventures xxx

StressedSteph

Morning,


Well the children went off to school happily today. Ds has a beautiful present wrapped up for his Girlfriend for Valentines day and Dd's class have a Pyjama Party this afternoon for reaching some reward target this half term. AND its the last day before they have a whole week off. Yay :j.


My Agnus Castus arrived yesterday so have been popping one of those per day. It is 1000mg and it says you can have 1-2 tablets per day. Thought I would start with 1 and up it to 2 if I don't see any improvement.


Had the telephone chat with the training course woman yesterday at 11am. I am sooo glad I didn't drive all the way to Bournemouth as it was only a 15 minute conversation and she is posting the paperwork for me to sign. I would have been very annoyed for travelling 1.1/4 hours costing £30 in fuel just for that!!


Got an old friend coming over for coffee at 11.30am. I used to know her from Ds's old school before we moved, and I was in a book club with her. I am abit nervous as she always seemed abit like a social climber who had a lot of airs and graces (abit Margo like from The Good Life). She has moved to the next village from me and I think she is also on her families smallholding/farm. I am hopeful that we will now have a lot in common, or it could go really wrong and I will feel like the poor relation all morning. We will see.


I had better get off and get the kitchen tidied up, I really hope she doesn't want a tour of the house as its a pit .


Speak laters xxxx