Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

Moneywhizz

Hi Steph, I think you will find that being on your own so much is the reason you feel a bit miserable. You have too much time to think and it is not easy to stay motivated when you are the only one there. I don't think you sound like a person without friends, what about the girls you went with on holiday? I suppose it's just that people are busy working and running their homes and families that not too much time is left over for socialising.
Is there any kind of work that you could do to fit in with school hours or even any kind of volunteering that would mean mixing with other adults? Or if that's not possible, is there any clubs/hobbies/ night classes that You could do to get you out and mixing a bit more? Maybe it's time for you to start investing in yourself. Take care. Xx

Skint_but_Optimistic

Give yourself some time. I agree. Even if its a soak in the bath with your book and using some of the christmas toiletries it will be a start. xx hope you feel a bit brighter and hope the goose is as well as he can be.

Verbatim

Great ideas from moneywhizz and yours about walking the dog first thing. Despite losing a kg and going to the gym on Monday I came home and felt really down for the rest of the day. Luckily I was fine yesterday and today. This month is always the worst as it's cold dark and miserable. No one has any money and it's hard not to feel it's a let down after the effort everyone makes to have a good Xmas. Maybe the ancients had it right that Xmas went on to February or so I read!
Anyway the facts speak! You have reduced your debt by over10k! and paid money this very difficult month.
It must also be so difficult for you with your oh wanting to spend £100 on leisure activities, (x box was it?) when you still had the mortgage to pay! I think you must have the patience of a saint. Either my marriage or my husband wouldn't have survived if he'd suggested such a thing!
Anyway remember you and you alone have got your family through the most difficult of years with your sound decisions, hard work and determination. I have every confidence and expectation that this time next year you'll be debt free.
And it's a great pleasure and honour to read about your efforts on here.
Vxx

maddiemay

Hi Steph, I had to read and run earlier:( Sorry that you are feeling blue, sometimes it is difficult when you spend a great deal of time alone, I used to furiously play "the glad game" to try and psyche myself out of it, I worked on my own a lot and I would end up laughing out loud at some of the daft things I found to be grateful for:rotfl: January is such a rotten month for so many reasons, but it will soon be gone and February is lovely and short. The days are really drawing out too which will help. I think that many more people than you would ever imagine go round putting on a brave face, as case of fake it until you make it perhaps.

So sorry about your lovely goose, I like to see the fox cubs playing as much as the next person, but most people not connected with the countryside don't realise what efficient killers they are, and the fact that they just don't kill to eat now, but will destroy numerous domestic birds and pet rabbits at a time. When kept in small flocks the chickens and ducks have such personalities too:(

Take care lovely lady, this too will pass:)
MM
xx

StressedSteph

Moneywhizz wrote: »

Hi Steph, I think you will find that being on your own so much is the reason you feel a bit miserable. You have too much time to think and it is not easy to stay motivated when you are the only one there. I don't think you sound like a person without friends, what about the girls you went with on holiday? I suppose it's just that people are busy working and running their homes and families that not too much time is left over for socialising.
Is there any kind of work that you could do to fit in with school hours or even any kind of volunteering that would mean mixing with other adults? Or if that's not possible, is there any clubs/hobbies/ night classes that You could do to get you out and mixing a bit more? Maybe it's time for you to start investing in yourself. Take care. Xx

Hi Moneywhizz,


Thanks for stopping by. I am pretty sure most of my problems come from having long empty days with nothing more than house cleaning and the dog to talk to.


I do the Spa treatments and my bit of cleaning, but they only take up a maximum of about 5 hours per week and often a lot less than that. I haven't had a single treatment this week so it was just my 2 hour cleaning job.


We have zero family around to help deal with childcare in school holidays and I was only a secretary at my best, so my earning potential would not cover the idea of a nanny or some sort of summer school for the children.


As the Spring starts I will have lots to do as I try to grow 90% of our veggies and hope to have lambs & pig again this year. January is that weird month where its the post Christmas Anti-climax and its quiet as the growing season hasn't started yet.
I really enjoy having hubby and the children home and I feel quite lonely when they all go back to work/school.


I just need to get my motivation to get things done fired up again. Think I have set myself the rest of this week to mope and then Monday onwards I will have a plan in place to kick myself up the bum

Skint_but_Optimistic wrote: »

Give yourself some time. I agree. Even if its a soak in the bath with your book and using some of the christmas toiletries it will be a start. xx hope you feel a bit brighter and hope the goose is as well as he can be.

Thanks SBO,


We are giving the goose until the weekend to perk up, but its not looking hopeful. Think that upset me more than I liked to admit. I had another little cry in the barn yesterday when I was trying to give her some water. So sad, I really love my geese. (I'm a silly old fool!)


Oh well, the joys of farming I suppose. I should toughen up abit

StressedSteph

Verbatim wrote: »

Great ideas from moneywhizz and yours about walking the dog first thing. Despite losing a kg and going to the gym on Monday I came home and felt really down for the rest of the day. Luckily I was fine yesterday and today. This month is always the worst as it's cold dark and miserable. No one has any money and it's hard not to feel it's a let down after the effort everyone makes to have a good Xmas. Maybe the ancients had it right that Xmas went on to February or so I read!
Anyway the facts speak! You have reduced your debt by over10k! and paid money this very difficult month.
It must also be so difficult for you with your oh wanting to spend £100 on leisure activities, (x box was it?) when you still had the mortgage to pay! I think you must have the patience of a saint. Either my marriage or my husband wouldn't have survived if he'd suggested such a thing!
Anyway remember you and you alone have got your family through the most difficult of years with your sound decisions, hard work and determination. I have every confidence and expectation that this time next year you'll be debt free.
And it's a great pleasure and honour to read about your efforts on here.
Vxx

Thanks so much Verbatim, I really appreciate you taking time to kick me up the bum .


Still low and teary today but I have decided to allow myself to wallow for a day or two, then Monday I will set myself some targets of things to get done.


With the husband thing, I sometimes think as he has never run the finances in our house, that he thinks the money goes further than it actually does. I am trying to send out small amount of money in a ridiculous amount of different ways/pots to try to keep everything going. The pressure of that can sometimes get my down.


I feel like such an old moaner lately. I promise my diary will be more upbeat soon. xxxx

maddiemay wrote: »

Hi Steph, I had to read and run earlier:( Sorry that you are feeling blue, sometimes it is difficult when you spend a great deal of time alone, I used to furiously play "the glad game" to try and psyche myself out of it, I worked on my own a lot and I would end up laughing out loud at some of the daft things I found to be grateful for:rotfl: January is such a rotten month for so many reasons, but it will soon be gone and February is lovely and short. The days are really drawing out too which will help. I think that many more people than you would ever imagine go round putting on a brave face, as case of fake it until you make it perhaps.

So sorry about your lovely goose, I like to see the fox cubs playing as much as the next person, but most people not connected with the countryside don't realise what efficient killers they are, and the fact that they just don't kill to eat now, but will destroy numerous domestic birds and pet rabbits at a time. When kept in small flocks the chickens and ducks have such personalities too:(

Take care lovely lady, this too will pass:)
MM
xx

Hi Maddiemay


Funny you mentioned The Glad Game. I have been reading a Self-esteem book to my son at bedtime and funnily enough that came up last night when I was reading.


I know it sounds silly but I am also getting quite a lot out of reading that book, as some of it applies to me quite well too.


I feel quite embarrassed with the glad game, as in the scheme of thing, I pretty much have everything. Pretty decent husband (;)), mostly well behaved children, Decent house, only work part-time, live in the countryside and it goes on. So why am I such a miserable B**ger????.


Silly aren't I!. I will keep playing The Glad Game in my head and hopefully I will snap out of my funk.


Hope all is well with you Maddie, are you planning any trips away soon?.


xxxx

eco_farmer

I get low sometimes too,i find in a wired way I enjoy it!avoiding things that I know would get me out of it. for me talking my concerns through with someone I trust helps massively as does exercise. So my little suggestion would be a long walk with the dog and talk her ears off it helps me no end. especially today as the weather in the vale is bloomin gorgeous

debtfreeoneday

I used to suffer a bit from SAD and light does help - try and get out in the day for a dog walk and get some fresh air..

tootallulah

Spring is round the corner it is now light at 5 in the evening and 8 in the morning, not much more of the dark winter days to go. I have been helped by the bright, though very cold days - getting out in the sun is important. Steph, my guess is that you will soon be offered other cleaning jobs if you want them. It isn't as much as treatments but the money is regular. Keep your chin up, this too will pass.

Verbatim

I wasn't trying to kick you up the bum. Quite the opposite. I really admire all your efforts and achievements over the last year and hoped you'd be able to see and appreciate your fantastic results that we readers of your diary can see. Sometimes it's hard to get a clear perspective when you're so close to the situation.
Basically I said you're brilliant and keep doing more of the same!