Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

StressedSteph

clearmydebts wrote: »

Happy New Year Steph! I haven't been on in a little while.

My kids are much younger but I wouldn't be putting up with that little s**t saying he won't be friends with your son in school. I'd have it out with him myself in the car. Put him on the spot and ask why he thinks it's okay to be nice to your son in the car but not in school.

I have zero tolerance for bullies. A friend of mine was bullied in school and it has affected her whole life.

Hi clearmydebts,


Thanks for looking in. Happy New Year to you too.


It's a horrible position to be in with Ds, I am hoping now this lad knows I have spoken to his mother and the head teacher, maybe it will make him think twice about continuing.
He is Mr Popular in school so his action are then multiplied when other boys stand behind him jeering as well.


Will have to see how this week unfolds. Really hope that by me addressing it, it may calm down.


xxx

eco_farmer wrote: »

have to say I totally agree with that I was a sensitive soul at school and found bullying very hard to deal with. so much so I missed a whole half term in year 8. my parents never had a clue. I got through by having a brilliant head of year. who gave me a place to go when it all got to much. its effects do carry on into adulthood. I avoid confrontation at all costs it drives DW crazy and doesn't make running a business very easy!it also makes It hard to trust people. my son was bullied for a short while but with a little bit of guidance from us a furious exchange at school and a blue belt in Karate he now does ok, don't let the barstewards win

eco

Hi eco,


Sorry to hear you were on the receiving end of it as well. .
Ds has always kind of put up and laughed off negative things towards him and I think that has taught his peers that they can do what they want to him because he never retaliates. Unfortunately because his attention span isn't the greatest he can muck about in the class room which also makes him a target and also gives the Head Teacher a perfect excuse to make it out to be all Ds's fault. Really tricky for me as a parent..


Hoping this week will calm down, I am worried as he has a three day residential this spring and he has to go away with all these boys who pick on him :eek:. He is already stating that he isn't going!!. It would be such a shame for him to miss out. REALLY hoping this will resolve itself before then otherwise I will have my next parental dilemma


xx

StressedSteph

Morning all.


Fresh week. Lets hope its a lot better than last week .


I had a good chat with Ds last night and this morning. We decided that the best plan would be to spend the next couple of weeks keeping his distance from the group of boys he is struggling with.


He has tried fighting back, but it is just giving them the perfect excuse to complain to the teachers about him and pass the blame back to him. So we agree that if he is nowhere near them then he cannot to drawn into an arguments or be blamed for anything.

I have told him to be nice to everyone, he is also going to explore a different group of boys in his class that he has never mixed with. He has been trying for years to fit in with his old group and it is obviously backfiring, so he is going to approach the Non-football boys and see if he enjoys their company.

I really really hope he takes my advice. I have ordered a couple of books from Amazon

Bullies, Big mouths and so called friends
Stick up for yourself - Every kids guide to personal power and self esteem.

Hopefully they will arrive early this week and I can read it to Ds at bedtime. The reviews of the first one were amazing and it apparently gives children lots of strategies to deal with and cope with negative situations.

Don't think there is much more I can do really, He is coming into an age now where he needs to learn how to solve these problems himself. Hopefully these books will help.

I really hope Ds manages to stay out of the way today, I feel it would help things calm down and the less clashes he has with these boys the easier it will get, (I hope).

Anyway, onto finances.
Got £23 left of unallocated money from this weeks wages
Had to pay £104.25 to a local repair shop, they repaired our dishwasher in December and hadn't yet managed to pay them.
Dh also got his way and bought a 2nd hand PS3 :mad:. Just under £100 :eek:. I told him that was it now and we really cannot afford any extra expenses.


Haven't yet paid mortgage or debts, hoping that can be done with the next two weeks wages and my Tax credits.


Tight month, but I suppose half the country is feeling the pinch as its January.


Hope you are all coping financially this January. xxx

Puzzcat

Hi Steph,


Sorry to read about the problems your son is having at school, I can't offer any advice but think your doing all you can to help him. I was only bullied once and that was in the workplace, I stood up to the bully and in fact a few years down the line we became almost friends..!


I hope you have a positive week this week and I think January is hard for everyone with the cold dark days and sad empty purses..! But spring will be here before we know it..!


Love Puzz. x

StressedSteph

Puzzcat wrote: »

Hi Steph,

Sorry to read about the problems your son is having at school, I can't offer any advice but think your doing all you can to help him. I was only bullied once and that was in the workplace, I stood up to the bully and in fact a few years down the line we became almost friends..!

I hope you have a positive week this week and I think January is hard for everyone with the cold dark days and sad empty purses..! But spring will be here before we know it..!

Love Puzz. x

Hi Puzz


Thanks for your post. Ds seemed to have a better day yesterday, he seemed pretty cheerful when he came home. Did worryingly mention that he played by himself at points , but at least he didn't get an hassle from anyone.


I took Dd to gymnastics last night and she chatted to me about her brother in school and the problems he is having. She sweetly said she would keep an eye on him at playtimes and try to involve him in her games if he was on his own .


Hopefully Ds has another decent day today. Phew, I can see why most of us mums have those grey hairs now


xxx

StressedSteph

Morning diary,


Not a whole lot financially to report today.

Checked my bank balance against YNAB again. Had to pay a couple of large-ish extra bills yesterday and I still have one outstanding. Abit worried though as I am still yet to pay the mortgage or my debt payments yet.

I am owed £70 for treatments and I also have my £20 cleaning tomorrow and another treatment, which will be a total of £120.

I was hoping to set that aside towards hubbys operation recovery time, but might have to use it to just get through this months bills.

Not expecting hubby to be in for his op until March earliest so I am already considering January, to be just a get through it somehow month and start fresh with a tight budget in February.

I did the food shop as planned last night after Dd's gymnastics. I had a strict menu planned list and Dd had loads of fun with the scanner tool in Tesco's. (Perfect to keep kids entertained).
She was a great help and I ended up letting her keep the trolley £1 as her wages for being a great help.

Kids have got super healthy lunches boxes this week, and meals are all planned out. It feels good. :T.
I dug out my juicer this morning and the kids had a mix fruit juice for breakfast.

Ds seems to be going along nicely with the healthy eating, hoping to keep it going so we can combat some of that extra puppy fat over time.

Think we might have a beginning of each month, family weigh in and height measurement, just guised as a fun thing to do, not wanting to make the children over aware of their weight etc.

I rang SKY yesterday and managed to get £10 per month knocked off our bill. All helps I guess.

Not much else to report. Going to do some maintenance cleaning of the house today. Its all quite clean but wanting to keep on top of it so that it doesn't slip back into a huge job again.

Hope you all have a good day, wind has dropped here and the sun is shining :j

tootallulah

Hi Steph, January is the hardest month of the year, you are doing well in a tough time. Congratulations on the shopping it sounds like a good plan. Also you are doing well on upping your income we are only half way through the month so hopefully there will be time to get enough in for the mortgage and then you can start square in February to get some savings in.

sweetpea26

Steph, So sorry to hear that your little boy is having such a tough time. Hopefully this will pass and he will find a group of friends that he fits well with. Thinking of you. God bless

StressedSteph

Morning all

Thanks for posting Tootallulah & Sweetpea. xx

All's quiet here today. Must have had really bad storms in the night as this morning the empty hen house is on its side and the trampoline is wedged in the hedge. .

I did my little cleaning job yesterday morning and have deposited another £20 in my little savings pot. i now have £46. No clue what it is there for but it feels nice to have abit of cash in the house for the next mini emergency.

Ds seems to be having a good week at school so far, he even played football with the boys yesterday and it went well without any drama. the children have both been having a fruit drink for breakfast every morning. (2 apples, pinapple, blueberries & melon). All sent through the juicer, and they seem to love it.

My Gino Italian diet book seems to be going down a treat. We had marinated lamb kebabs with new potatoes and salad on Tuesday and last night it was beef stew. Clean plates all round.
Tonight will be a test with prawn linguine .

Kids have had veg sticks and other low fat stuff in their lunch boxes, so I feel under control with their intake of good food and less junk.

Yesterday the books i ordered from Amazon about bullies & self-esteem arrived. One was a little bit girlie so I read some of that to Dd and then read alot of one of the others to Ds. I will keep reading them every night and hopefully some of the strategies will sink in so that next time he is faced with a bully he might remember some of the things we have chatted about.

Nothing much happening on the money front, just trying not to spend any

I am just a little bit Addicted to The Vampire diaries at the moment. I am watching it on Netflix, and literally have to tear myself away to actually get something done. . Going to have my breakfast now and watch an episode

xxx

kelpie35

Well done on your little savings pot.

You are such a great mum and I really hope the book helps your son. It is so horrible for children who are bullied.

Many years ago my son was bullied and I wish that there had been things like that that I could have used.

Move forward many years and he is now a very confident young man that I am very proud of.

Keep all this good work up and you will definitely get there.

StressedSteph

kelpie35 wrote: »

Well done on your little savings pot.

You are such a great mum and I really hope the book helps your son. It is so horrible for children who are bullied.

Many years ago my son was bullied and I wish that there had been things like that that I could have used.

Move forward many years and he is now a very confident young man that I am very proud of.

Keep all this good work up and you will definitely get there.

Thanks Kelpie,

I don't think I ever imagined how hard it would be to be a successful parent. I wonder how on earth our parents managed without the internet for research and Amazon for parenting books :rotfl:.

So glad to hear your son made it through and is a confident adult. I do worry that the mistakes we make as parents could really impact how our children cope as adults. Just another of my constant guilt trips I suppose.

Hope you are having a good week. xxx