Should I stay or should I go?

Delree

Hi I’m a regular poster and not creating a new identity because that’s bs.

I’m stuck in a rut, I have a decent job but I don’t enjoy it but don’t hate it either, it’s this non-hatred of it that has allowed me to bumble through the last 2 years of my life doing the job. I do not know where that time hasgone.

I live in a terrible small town with utterly nothing going for it, it’s at the of the line and any decent people leave. I’m 34 and haven’t but Facebook keeps throwing in my face all my old school friends who live all over the world. I’m not jealous of those people but they certainly make me think.

I drink too much and I smoke. I really want clean up my act but cannot find the motivation to make any initiative stick. Coupled to that I’m starting to put on a bit of weight, not fat I have always been slim.

My dream has always been to live in another part of the country six hours drive away where we used to go on holiday as a family. It’s a truly beautiful part of the world and gets me all misty eyed when I think of it. I holiday there and suddenly find myself with a new lease of life, I’m active, still drink but don’t smoke as much.

Recently a job has become available there that I would be ideal for. It’s a perfect fit but I’m bricking it. The thought of making such a huge move scares me senseless and I’m worried that it won’t be the panacea I’m looking for and actually do me more harm than good. For instance giving up my own house for a house share (in the short term) and having to start from scratch with a social life knowing that my decision is pretty much for keeps.

My friends who I love are boring me a bit but I know I’d miss them and my family I would miss terribly.

I know from this short summary people’s advice can’t be precise but has anyone done anything similar or know anyone who’s done something similar? How did it work out? Regrets?

Btw I’m single, no children, no pets and I rent.

Bazey

Do it now. What's the worst that could happen?

Delree

Bazey wrote: »

Do it now. What's the worst that could happen?

It's the fear of what could go wrong that has stopped me from doing loads of things.

What might go wrong is that I end up in the same rut as I am here but this time with no friends or family. Is moving treating the symptom and not the disease?

But you're right, it's not like I'll die or anything and whilst things might go tits up they could just as easily go well and the thought of making such a big change excites me.

aileth

Go. You will regret it terribly if you don't. If things don't go well, you can always go back. You have absolutely no strings attached, for example if you had children that you had to uproot from school, or their friends.

If you don't do it, you'll always be thinking 'what if', and it will torment you.

Netwizard

go for it If it goes tits up, you can move back to where you are now.

Life is too short to not give things like this a go

System

Computer says yes

PasturesNew

I did that about 7 years ago .... I gave up where I was living as there were no jobs there and set off for ... well, pastures new, hence the name.

Did it work out? Well, it didn't not work out. I've bumbled around, I've seen a few different towns, I've not been settled, most of the time I've not worked, I've had no money to do stuff or meet people .....

But I DID it!

And would I do it again?

Yes.

The only regret I have is that I have drifted really ..... but is that really a bad thing? It's not the end of the world.

I had 8 addresses last year, I've done shared flats, hotels, caravans ....

If you don't like what you've got and you have a dream, why not go and have a look....

6feet

Delree wrote: »

Btw I’m single, no children, no pets and I rent.

This is the time to take risks! Go for it. I moved country's 13 years ago and have never looked back. Bon Voyage

Delree

These are all good positive answers. You've persuaded me to apply for the job then it's out of my hands until the closing date. Scary stuff though.

Fluff15

Do it! As you have no ties, you have nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out, you can always come back. Those friends who are worth keeping you'll stay in touch with, if you don't never mind, you'll find new ones. If you miss them and your family, when you do see them you'll make sure to make the most of your time together.

Slinky

I moved from England to the Channel Islands at 25 with no job to go to and knowing absolutely nobody, having been there twice on holiday. For the first 6 months I didn't really settle, but eventually made friends and had a good job there. Left after 5 years as under their housing rules I couldn't rent or buy anywhere in my own name, so was stuck with living in house shares.

I'm still friends with some people I met there and don't regret taking the plunge even though I'm back in my home town now (and don't consider that a negative thing).